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Taking one day at a time...

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  • Saturday, October 22, 2005

    This Weekend...

    I was so glad to come home from work yesterday. Two days off in a row may do me some good. A girl can dream, can't she?

    I got home shortly before 3:30 p.m. yesterday to find Blondie cooking up a storm again. She also got me a card that said she wished she could buy me a rainbow on eBay. It was very sweet. Apparently, the kid's been worried about me. Two days in a row, she's cooked beautiful dinners for me. I was pleased, to say the very least. Her thoughtfulness and her willingness to give me a break has shown me how wonderful it is to have someone like her in my life.

    Hubby was also very willing to help out. He was off yesterday and managed to wear Baby Jack out. I guess he read my blog post from two days ago and it brought out the very best in him. He told me that I need to let him take over Jack duties a little more. He also gave me the green light to take off days from work, if I feel I need to. My needs have to come first or it will make it difficult for me to meet Jack's needs, as well. And he's being very supportive. He knows and understands that I'm an emotional wreck and that I need to just let go of the reins sometimes. He held me when I cried. That's all I really wanted at that very moment, too.

    My Mom will be coming over later to help me out. I really need to get the house in order. The floors are full of dog hair and their a bit on the dirty side due to the dogs and everyday wear and tear. It'll be nice to have her keep an eye on Baby Jack so I can clean the main floor of my house. Blondie will take care of the basement and the upstairs never really gets messy, so I don't have to worry about that. It'll be nice to have a clean house and I don't mind doing it, as long as my Jack duties are taken over by someone I trust. Baby Jack loves my Mom; they are great pals. He plants kisses on her all the time and he loves staring into her eyes. They're big and brown and lovely.

    Last night, Blondie skipped school because she needed a break. I know how that feels all to well lately. So, she and I went to Target. I felt the need to spend a little money. I bought Halloween candy, gigantic bras for my gigantic ta-tas, and a hands-free cell phone thingy so I can talk when I'm driving, if I have to. It's against the law to use a cell phone while you're driving in the city of Chicago, so I figured I'd go ahead and get one since it was less than eight bucks. I came home after a little over an hour and I was happier. I got a break; Blondie got a break; and Hubby and Jack were fine.

    Java smells like ass again today, but it's 50 degrees out, so she can't get a bath outside and I'll be damned if she goes in my tub. Thank goodness for baby wipes. I may have to attack her butt with them if she doesn't take care of her business herself. Yeck!

    There's been an outpouring of love and support for me from all of my family members. I'm not as alone as I thought I was. Even my fellow bloggers have written to me, giving me encouragement, assuring me I'm not crazy, sending me virtual hugs, etc. I do not feel as isolated as I did the other day. Some of my friends at work, who know I'm going through a rough patch, have banded together to make my load a little easier for me. I never knew so many people cared enough to take the time to notice what I've been going through. And I feel better. Don't get me wrong; I'm still crying at times, but it feels good to do it. Crying has always given me a release I don't get in other ways. It's my way of letting off steam and it helps. I must be a good person if so many people want to help me. If I were a shitty person, I'm guessing no one would be there for me. So, I feel grateful that I have the support that I do. I am not alone; I am part of many other people's lives. And they love me, even if some of us have never met. Isn't that something?

    I hope this weekend provides me with the break I need, although I'm not holding my breath. Baby Jack got up at 5 a.m. today, but we didn't bring him downstairs until 6 a.m. He ate and played and was back asleep by 8 a.m. I'm hoping that he gets some rest because he needs it. I also felt around in his mouth last night and felt the top left front tooth. It has reared its ugly head, finally. He still, however, has the top right one that's ready to break through any moment. Maybe that's what's been bugging him. He doesn't have any bottom teeth yet, either. My baby is no textbook baby, that's for sure.

    When we put him to sleep last night, I put the cutest jammies on him. I think I'll keep them on him today, as well. They're thermal and he looks like such a little man in them. He's got a perfect little baby body, too.

    I can't count how many times he's fallen in the past 24 hours. He's getting braver and braver these days. He only holds on to things with one hand when he's standing now and he purposely twists his body to grab onto other things, too. He just forgets to move his feet and then falls. It's great to watch him learn new things. Kids grow up so fast. Before you know it, I'll be blogging about skinned knees and potty training. Yeesh.

    I hope your weekend is a good one. I'm hopeful that things will get better over here. They've already started to, so I'm content right now, hormones that make me nuts and all. Thank you for all of your love and support and honesty and encouragement. I don't know if I would've felt better without you. I feel that a part of my burden has been lifted and that's a great relief to me. I don't have to be overwhelmed; I have many people who care about me and are willing to share my load. I don't even know why, but I'm not going to refuse their help, whether it's in my immediate physical world or my online community of friends.

    I am grateful for you from the bottom of my heart. You have no idea.


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