Comments from the Peanut Gallery

Taking one day at a time...

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
  • DO SOMETHING GOOD
  • Wednesday, August 31, 2005

    My First Day Back At Work...

    Well, as you can see from the time of this post, I'm obviously doing it from work. There's no students and we had meetings in the morning. Now, the afternoon is mine. I can set up my classroom, configure my email account for school, and just bullshit with friends I haven't seen in a while.

    Leaving for work this morning was very hard. I just didn't want to go. Once I got here, I knew I'd be here a while so there was no point in being upset. I caught myself on the verge of tears three times, but I just put those feelings away. I'm going to save up my energy for all the snuggling I have to give my baby when I get home later.

    It's 1:20 p.m. right now and I leave at 2:45 p.m. I like that I don't have much longer to go. In no time at all, I'm going to be snuggling my little guy and he's not even going to realize that I haven't been home since 7:30 a.m.

    Hopefully, all is well at home. All is well with me, I guess. I just keep counting down the days until the next day off, which will be Monday (Labor Day). After that, it's Columbus Day.

    I suppose I should get back to my preparations. I have so much to do. If you know me, however, you also know that I manage my time well and won't have any trouble doing what I need to do. Let's just hope I can wear the Teacher Hat as well as I've been wearing my Mommy Hat.

    I miss Jack so much right now.

    Tuesday, August 30, 2005

    Gearing Up...

    I have to tell you I was on fire yesterday. During one of Baby Jack's one hour naps and during his playtime in his bouncy car next to me, I was able to get a shitload done as far as preparing for the start of school. I managed to do the following:

    *I printed out a copy of my personal webpage at school and clicked on every one of my 100+ links to see which ones were inactive. I'll know what I need to update when I get to work.

    *I created handouts for the whole year's worth of assigned Internet projects/expectations. (I have two classes that are each 122 minutes long. Each class gets five projects assigned per quarter, so that's 20 for each class per year.)

    *Every year, we teachers have to fill out a two-part Time Distribution sheet. The first part is all about where our kids are at every minute of the day. The second part is all about the breakdown of how many minutes they spend in each of their classes. I know, kind of redundant. Well, I got my template ready to do it so that all I have to do is plug in the classes; the numbers are already done.

    *I printed out some signs that I have to photocopy to hang around my classroom. I did the grading policy, the class rules, the grading scale, and the listening/speaking rules. Now I just have to get them copied and hung up.

    *I wrote lesson plans for the first two weeks of school. If you know anything about our lesson plans, they are very, very detailed.

    *I got together the book report format I'm having the kids use. I just need copies of it now.

    *I've got a misconduct report form that I'll sign and make copies of, just so I have it in a pinch. All I'll have to do is check off the offense and send it to the Dean at that moment.

    *I got my home computer ready for me when I need to file grades, lesson plans, and stuff like that. Now I don't need to worry about that. I just have to set up my computer at work when I get there.

    *I organized my gradebook binder. All I have to do is get the names of all my kids and create the rosters. That's a cinch.

    I guess, looking at the list above, I feel better about everything I accomplished yesterday. I'm still dreading going back and just being apart from someone who's really been attached to me for the last fifteen months. I still feel pregnant with him, even though he's almost seven months old! He's just attached to my hip now, not in the womb.

    I'm so surprised I was able to get it all done. Most teachers wait until the first day to start getting all that crap together. Me...I'm an early bird; always have been, always will be. Some things just don't change. While Jack was taking a nap, I was able to throw myself into my preparations. I got back into SuperOrganizedAnalRetentiveGetOutOfMyWay Amy. And I hadn't done that in a long, long time. It almost felt good, but I'll never admit it. And Jack...Jack let me do it. When he woke up from his nap, I was still on fire and I let him play so I could finish what I'd been doing. He was an absolute angel. He jumped around in his bouncy car and threw ten (yes, ten) blocks at the dogs, repeatedly, after I'd gather the blocks and put them back in the "trunk." He loves doing that and the dogs love it, too.

    Today is my last day of summer vacation and the last day of my maternity leave, really. Tomorrow isn't going to be easy, so I'm going to enjoy my baby and my Hubby all day long. And when Jack takes a nap, I'll be typing out Jack's schedule for my Dad and Hubby for when they watch Jack while I'm at work.

    When I sit back and think about it, Jack will be without me for eight hours a day, including traveling time. I'll leave at 7:30 a.m. and be back at home by 3:30 p.m., the latest. He'll be asleep for much of that time, too. He'll be with people he loves and he'll be safe. I'll get to make money again and he will get many, many toys out of my guilt. Just wait until Christmas, Kid...

    I guess I'm just trying to make myself feel better about going back to work. Gosh, if going back to work feels like this, what the hell will his first day of school do to me? You know what? I'd rather not think about that just yet. One day at a time...

    Monday, August 29, 2005

    My Thinking Place...


    Looking up the skylight in my kitchen... Posted by Picasa

    ...usually ails whatever is troubling me. I've been looking at it a lot lately. Perhaps I'm just trying to center myself. Going back to work isn't going to be easy for me. It'll probably be harder on me than it will be on the baby. I know, eventually, it'll be "normal," but, oh, how I enjoyed being only a Mama, not a teacher, for the last six and a half months!

    Now, I must wear my Teacher Hat again. Believe me...it'll come off at 2:45 p.m. each day, no doubt about it.

    Wait...Listen...Can you hear my heels dragging?

    Sunday, August 28, 2005

    Is That A Dog At My Kitchen Table?...


    This is what Linus does... Posted by Picasa

    ...when Blondie's not home. Posted by Picasa

    Saturday, August 27, 2005

    City Snob...

    I have a pet peeve. I hate when people say they live in Chicago when they actually live in the suburbs. I've encountered that a lot recently. To tell you the truth, I'm sick of hearing that.

    Chicago and its people are unique, diverse, and cool. This city is unique because it has the best water you'll ever drink, the Sears Tower, and the fabulous lakefront. The people are unique because we have a bond, even when some of its inhabitants are trying to kill each other. The bond of City Brotherhood is still there. Chicago's diverse because everywhere you turn, there are different heritages around you. The people are generally good people. Every neighborhood has its wackos. You never know what you'll see each day. Chicago is cool because it's the third largest city in the country, not to mention it has better pizza than any other city. Chicago's people are cool because they make the daily hustle and bustle work for them. Chicagoans embrace all these things. Suburbanites do not. And in this city, suburbanites carry a stigma. I'm sure it's like that in New York City and L.A., too. You don't say you're from L.A. if you're from Hemet. You don't say you're from New York City if you're from anywhere in New Jersey. It's just not how things are done.

    Suburbanites want to be unique, diverse, and cool. They aren't, naturally, so they must put on a mask to fool others of their pseudo-coolness. They drive in on weekends, pretending to live by Wrigley Field, shouting expletives from their cars after getting wasted at the Cubby Bear. They cause more bar fights than the City Folk do. They act cool and smooth for a few hours, and then they take the Kennedy Expressway home. They pull up in their Mom and Dad's driveway (undoubtedly, with the brand new car their parents bought for them), open their unlocked front doors, and they crawl into bed all the while wishing they had the balls to actually live here. You see, it's cool to say that you live in The Big City. And you're not cool if you don't. So, usually people between the ages of 16 and 40 like to say they're from this magical place also known as Chicago, even if they're not. And that's not cool to City Folk.

    Why pretend you're from somewhere you're not? Schaumburg is not Chicago. Elgin is not Chicago. Naperville is not Chicago. They are surrounding suburbs. If you lie about where you're really from, does that mean you're embarrassed to be from there? Plus, if you lie about this aspect of your life, what else are you lying about? I scorn suburbanites because I can.

    Newsflash for Chicago Suburbanites: There's nothing unique about going to a happening bar. There's nothing diverse about the neighborhood you're from. There's nothing cool about driving 40 miles to drink for five hours, barely making it home alive. If you're not from Chicago, I can see how you'd feel that these are major weekend activities. To say that you were in Chicago on the weekend could really make people think that you're worldly.

    Call me a City Snob, if you will. I know I'm not alone in my feelings. There are possibly 3,000,000 other people here that just might share that feeling. If I've offended any of the Chicago suburbanites, too bad. Think before you speak.

    If you're not from these parts, you have no business saying you are. Native Chicagoans have moxie. And, yes, we're cool.

    *SIDENOTE: This is only a dig on suburbanites that pretend they're from the city. I don't have a problem with people living in the suburbs, as long as they don't walk around masquerading as residents of the city (a hint to those who have it on their blog profile), which is pretty common around here. The city is expensive to live in and it grows character. If you live in the suburbs where everyone looks alike and lives in like houses, please don't disrespect the City Folk by acting like you belong here. To say you're from Chicago when you're not is like saying you're in the NBA when all you have is the hoop on your father's driveway. Chicago IS the shit, even when it's not nice. And it's full of people just like me.

    Friday, August 26, 2005

    Have You Hugged Someone You Love Today?...

    Yesterday was a rather odd day. Hubby's store was commandeered by the police and the FBI. Apparently, a guy had tried to rob a bank, fled the police in a car chase, and holed himself up in a house around the corner from where Hubby works. The authorities had set up their "hub" at his place of business because of its proximity to the home. Hubby wasn't allowed to leave to get something to eat or even just to stand outside. The store was closed because of the commotion and for safety issues. They couldn't do any business; they couldn't go anywhere, either. Hubby said there were SWAT teams, very large weapons in abundance, and hundreds of police cars everywhere. In fact, he saw a lot of warpaint, too. All of the surrounding streets were closed and Hubby kept in contact with me by cell phone because they'd cut the power to the whole area. Hubby was finally allowed to leave at around quarter to eight last night. I was very, very happy to have him home. This hullaballoo started at around noon yesterday and it's still continuing as I write this. The guy is still inside that house, alone. Thank goodness he didn't have any hostages with him, but sadly, he did kill that family's dog. And I can't believe that they haven't gotten him out of that house yet.

    When I think about it all, I shudder. That guy could've walked into my Hubby's business and killed him or held him hostage. Then what would I do? When I think about how things can happen in the blink of an eye, it makes me feel so very vulnerable. I don't even know what I'd do without my Hubby, and I'd prefer not to encounter that feeling ever again.

    So, I'm going to try not to think about this and be very grateful for the people in my life that I love. Have you hugged someone special in your life today?

    Thursday, August 25, 2005

    Don't Make Me Do It...

    A week from today, I will be in my classroom, getting it ready for when the students come. This is the first time in my eleven-year teaching career that I don't really want to go back. I'm a Mother now.

    I'm going back to work because I have to work. I want to give Baby Jack everything he'll ever need, so I must make money to do that. That is the only reason.

    I used to gear up a month before school started, get all my shit together, switch into Teacher Mode. Now, I'm just dreading the day I leave my baby. Granted, my Dad will be watching Jack from 9:30 a.m. until 3:30 p.m. Jack won't be with someone he doesn't already adore. I'm just not used to being away from him for so long and I knew this was going to be hard. Really hard. Jack has been with me for six and a half months now. We've been inseparable. He's the Boss. And I like it that way. Believe me, if I didn't have to work, I wouldn't.

    Maybe I should set up a PayPal donation button on this blog. I'd call it the "Keep Eatmisery Home Because We Like Her Fund." You know that I'm just kidding, or am I? I dream of winning the lottery, but I never buy a ticket. I've got problems.

    I'm not even at work yet and I can't wait to get home already. This is sad.

    Wednesday, August 24, 2005

    PMS Victims Everywhere Can Appreciate This One...


    It's a given. Posted by Picasa

    Babies Everywhere Can Appreciate This One...


    This sums up my son's feedings. Posted by Picasa

    Moms Everywhere Can Appreciate This One...


    One of my many favorites... Posted by Picasa

    Tuesday, August 23, 2005

    Don't Ever Do This To Your Child...


    I think I'm going to be sick... Posted by Picasa

    No, this is not my family and me (for all you smart asses). I'm guessing this picture is from the 80's. If it's not and it's current, then these people are living in a time warp. Never, ever do this to your child or his hair. I'm pretty sure that little boy (?) is self-conscious of this picture by now. If he's not, then he will be eventually. Shame on his parents! I hope the kid has a good therapist, really.

    If you had to create a title for this picture, what would you call it?

    Monday, August 22, 2005

    Another Good One...



    I almost passed out from laughing after I saw this one! You gotta love spoof art, really. Posted by Picasa

    Sunday, August 21, 2005

    I Have No Complaints...

    I have to admit it. I have an easy baby. I know it. And don't think I'm not grateful.

    Last night, yet again, Baby Jack put himself to sleep in his crib. He didn't really seem to want to be held until he fell asleep, so I put him down and went to bed myself. He wasn't up very long at all. He played until he didn't want to play anymore. And I never had to get up to soothe him. Not even once. This is not the first time, either.

    I know I could've had a monster for a child. The fact is, I don't. He's not very fussy; he's congenial. He loves his sleeptime, especially in his crib. He eats well; he loves to play in the tub. He loves dogs and doesn't seem to be scared of much yet. He's even a great pooper. (I know, too much information.) He sounds a lot like my Hubby (hee, hee!). He may have my eyes, but he sure has his Papa's temperament. Thank goodness, because I was a Demon Spawn. Just ask my Mother.

    All in all, I feel I've won the lottery with this kid. I'm going to cherish every moment this good baby has to give me. For all I know, the next one will be My Demon Spawn. And those of you who have one, know exactly what I mean.

    Saturday, August 20, 2005

    Thunderstorms Don't Usually Scare Me...

    We had some wicked storms in Chicago last night. My whole bedroom lit up like it was bombed every time lightning flashed. The thunder presented itself in wave after wave, sounding more like bowling pins in the echoing bowling alley that was my house; it was so close. I couldn't help but be a little nervous, even though storms have never made me feel that way before. I usually love the rain, like a long-lost best friend. Last night, however, was an exception. I kept thinking about lightning striking one of our trees and crashing down on the house. Perhaps it's because I'm a Mother now.

    I felt almost panicky, but I was able to fall asleep after the initial terror. The storm was so strong, it felt like it was all the bad in the world that could possibly happen to my son. It was like the sky was making a confession and dumping all its misery upon us. The rain felt like it was just the worst thing that could happen, ever (even though we needed it badly). I felt very protective, like I had to be on guard at all times. I felt like a gas station Pit Bull that works night and day. I wanted to stay up all night just to make sure a tree wouldn't fall on the roof and crash through into my son's crib. It was an eerie feeling.

    It could be my subconscious and conscious feelings about going back to work, affecting my sleep. That, in combination with the overnight deluge, could make me never want to leave the house again, wrapping him in a neat little bubble that protects him from the worst of the world. I know I'm being dramatic and I can't possibly shield my son from life outside these doors. I guess I've got some guilt about leaving him, ever. My Motherhood motor is in overdrive. Could this storm just be a metaphor for my guilt about going back to work (even though we really need my income now)?

    Ironically, my baby never woke up from the violent thunder and lightning. He slept through it all, as I lay awake in my bed steps from him, worrying unnecessarily. I think it's very indicative of my future; I'll be spending my life worrying about nothing and all will be fine. Let's just hope so. I can dream, can't I?

    Right now, my son is playing in a bouncy car, throwing blocks at the dogs. He just turned to smile at me, like he was taking a break from playing just to look at me. It was the most precious smile I've ever seen in my life. In just that one little gesture, he summed up for me all the good in this world; he's a part of that. And it was his innocence that greeted me like a long-lost best friend.

    Friday, August 19, 2005

    Picture #999...


    "This is, literally, the 999th photo that my Mom has taken of me. I'm only six months old." Posted by Picasa

    Baby Jack decided to wake up two hours earlier than usual today. He also put himself to sleep in his crib last night. I wasn't sure how he was going to do with that. I expected it to be a long night. Ironically, he fell asleep in twenty minutes by rocking himself on his hands and knees, no fussing at all.

    This picture was taken about fifteen minutes ago and it really is the 999th photo I've taken of my son. Thank goodness for digital cameras; I'd be in the poor house from developing rolls of film if I didn't have one.

    Thanks, Kat, for reminding me to keep up with my pictures! You are a gem!

    Thursday, August 18, 2005

    Thanks, Beans!...

    I stole this idea from Beans. I like to steal from her sometimes. (LOL) Thanks for the inspiration!

    1. Nervous habits? rocking foot, clicking pen
    2. Are you double jointed? yes
    3. Can you roll your tongue? yes
    4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? yes
    5. Can you blow spit bubbles? yes
    6. Can you cross your eyes? yes
    7. Tattoos? yes, one on my upper right arm
    8. Piercings? 2 holes in right ear, 1 hole in left
    9. Do you make your bed daily? not usually; Hubby tends to do that

    CLOTHES
    10. Which shoe goes on first? right one
    11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? yes
    12. On the average, how much money do you carry? $10-$20
    13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7? wedding rings, earrings, and anklet
    14. Favorite piece of clothing? any of my pajamas

    FOOD
    15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? twirl
    16. Have you ever eaten Spam? Yes
    17. Do you use extra salt on your food? Not often
    18. How many cereals in your cabinet? 4 0r 5
    19. What's your favorite beverage? water
    20. What's your favorite fast food restaurant? Wendy's
    21. Do you cook? Yes

    GROOMING
    22. How often do you brush your teeth? once or twice every day
    23. Hair drying method? air-dry
    24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair? yes, but not in the last year and a half

    MANNERS
    25. Do you swear? all the fucking time
    26. Do you ever spit? only when I'm phlegm-y

    FAVORITE
    27. Animal? dog
    28. Food?cold spaghetti
    29. Month? February
    30. Day of the week? Monday
    31. Cartoon? Tom & Jerry
    32. Shoe brand? Chinese Laundry
    33. Subject in school? English, of course
    34. Color? Red
    35. Sport? Baseball
    36. TV shows? The Apprentice, Jeopardy, American Idol, and ER
    37. Thing to do in the spring? clean
    38. Thing to do in the summer? rest
    39. Thing to do in the autumn? rake leaves and fall in them
    40. Thing to do in the winter? make hot cocoa and call in sick

    IN AND AROUND
    41. In the CD player? James Taylor
    42. Person you talk most on the phone with? My Mom
    43. Reading? Your Baby's First Year
    44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows/mirrors? sometimes
    45. What color is your bedroom? neutrals
    46. Do you use an alarm clock? I will once I go back to work, but currently, no.
    47. Window seat or aisle? Window on a plane, aisle anywhere else

    DUMB
    48. What's your sleeping position? left side or back
    49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket? yes
    50. Do you snore? louder than my Dad
    51. Do you sleepwalk? no
    52. Do you talk in your sleep? only when completely stressed out; not lately
    53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no fake animals; only a 76 lb. real dog and a husband
    54. How about with the light on? no, not afraid of the dark
    55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on? sometimes
    56. Last interesting person you met? My life is full of interesting people. I wouldn't know who to begin with.


    If you decide to do the same on your blog, let me know! I'm curious about my regular viewers, as well as my lurkers. Have a super day!

    Wednesday, August 17, 2005

    The Voice of Reason...

    My six-month-old son has discovered that he, indeed, has a voice. For the last week, he has been getting louder and louder. Just last night, Hubby and I walked over to my in-laws' house with the baby. While there, Baby Jack decided to launch into an ear-splitting vocal litany of angst. I think he even said the word "bullshit," but I could be wrong. He would try to get so loud that it seemed as if he were going to choke on the sounds he was creating. And the diatribe lasted for an easy half-hour, accompanied by the proper facial expressions for each syllable. Apparently, he is learning and practicing the fine art of being the squeaky wheel that gets the oil.

    Yes, he is definitely my son. No doubt about it.

    Tuesday, August 16, 2005

    Who Are You People?...

    The great thing about my blogcounter is that it gives me the IP addresses of people who check out my blog. In fact, sometimes a link to my blog will pop up if someone searches for something having to do with "peanuts," or a "gallery," or certain words I've used in my blog. That is the reason for this post. I'm going to post what some people are searching for. My beautiful blogcounter tells me those keywords people are looking up. There are some real sickos out there.

    These are the top 25 keywords searched and, for some reason, my blog will be linked to those:

    my sister's best friend fuck pic (MSN) 1
    peanut gallery day care (Yahoo) 1
    picture of a baby coming out a moms butt (MSN) 1
    son fuck black mom (MSN) 1
    taste my farting gallery (MSN) 1
    toddler diaper change photos gallery (Yahoo) 1
    watch mom fuck son (MSN) 1
    welsh corgi hair cuts (MSN) 1
    a picture of a peanut (MSN) 1
    constipated puppy spayed (Yahoo) 1
    dare foods list of peanut free cookies (MSN) 1
    fuck my mom (MSN) 1
    grandma used to jack me off (MSN) 1
    how to get a dog to lick a guy's balls (Yahoo) 1
    i want to fuck my mom (MSN) 1
    lyrics "it's my shit it's my shit" (Google) 1
    mom is fucking her son (MSN) 1
    my best friends mom (MSN) 1
    my dog snarls at my husband (MSN) 1
    my friends hot mom (MSN) 1

    These are the last 20 keywords searched for and their times:

    14/08/2005 17:42:02 how to get a dog to lick a guy's balls (Yahoo)
    14/08/2005 05:39:58 constipated puppy spayed (Yahoo)
    13/08/2005 18:40:33 dare foods list of peanut free cookies (MSN)
    12/08/2005 22:05:58 taste my farting gallery (MSN)
    10/08/2005 13:20:52 mom is fucking her son (MSN)
    10/08/2005 00:49:33 my best friends mom (MSN)
    09/08/2005 15:39:20 my friends hot mom (MSN)
    08/08/2005 23:31:47 toddler diaper change photos gallery (Yahoo)
    08/08/2005 12:06:02 welsh corgi hair cuts (MSN)
    08/08/2005 11:42:09 a picture of a peanut (MSN)
    08/08/2005 00:00:10 fuck my mom (MSN)
    07/08/2005 15:11:43 son fuck black mom (MSN)
    07/08/2005 09:24:16 my dog snarls at my husband (MSN)
    06/08/2005 14:18:28 i want to fuck my mom (MSN)
    06/08/2005 08:55:21 lyrics "it's my shit it's my shit" (Google)
    05/08/2005 16:29:36 watch mom fuck son (MSN)
    05/08/2005 10:32:43 my sister's best friend fuck pic (MSN)
    04/08/2005 22:34:14 grandma used to jack me off (MSN)
    04/08/2005 15:19:47 picture of a baby coming out a moms butt (MSN)
    04/08/2005 09:45:38 peanut gallery day care (Yahoo)


    I have issues with some of these. I want to say something. Read on.

    I can count on one hand how many of these keywords I don't mind being linked to. It's kind of scary. It's also hard to believe that people are, indeed, looking some of this shit up. What's more scary is that, for one reason or another, my blog is linked to what the sickos are looking for! I'm appalled, really.

    So, whoever you sickos are (and I'm not talking about my regular visitors), you need some fucking help! I can't believe you're looking this shit up! What kind of reclusive freak are you, that you have to look up how to get a dog to lick your balls, or toddler diaper change photos, or watching a mom fuck her son? I don't fuck my son. I don't post his naked body. I don't have a grandma that jacked me off. I don't have what you want. There are no pictures of sons fucking their black moms; there are no references to me fucking my Mom because it's never happened; there is a picture of castrated dog balls in a container of formaldehyde a few posts back, but I don't think it's what you're looking for, really. This is a NORMAL person's blog. There are no pedophiles here.

    Sickos, I suggest you get yourselves some serious help. You are looking for things and situations that are NOT NORMAL. I hope I don't know who you are. I hope you don't live by me. I hope you never come in any contact with my son. If you dare come near him, I will cut your face beyond recognition. Take your sick, nasty self to the local police station and confess to your crimes against children. It's obvious to me that you don't belong in the same environment as the rest of us.

    GET HELP. NOW.

    Monday, August 15, 2005

    I Love Mondays...

    Yesterday's picnic with Hubby's colleagues from work turned out to be pretty good. The weather was perfect; Hubby hit a home run in a softball game; Blondie played a few bean bag toss games with a nice guy Hubby works with. I got to talk to a few people I knew and it was fun. Jack...well, Jack was awake from 12:30 p.m. until 8 p.m. He just wouldn't take any kind of afternoon nap while we were there. We left for the picnic at around 3:45 p.m. He was pretty tired, but he charmed everyone who looked his way. The only time he screamed bloody murder was when I'd accidentally scared him. I was cheering for his Papa when he made the home run, inadvertently frightening the wits out of my baby, who was in my lap. I'd forgotten he didn't know what cheering meant. Oops! It only lasted for about fifteen seconds. Once he knew that everything was okay, he was back to his normal, jumping self. And I'd started sweating bullets...I didn't want the baby to cry at all for any reason while we were there. I didn't want everyone labeling us The Parents With The Crying Kid (especially at his work's picnic)! You who have children know EXACTLY what I mean. I must say, though, that Jack was great; he only cried that one time and everyone knew why. There were people there who said he looks like me; almost everyone said that Jack has more hair than his Papa. Thank goodness Hubby is a good sport about it. He blames his loss of hair on having to deal with me. You know, he's not entirely wrong. But he's not entirely right, either. (You knew I'd say that, didn't you, Hubby?) All in all, things went well.

    The baby didn't fall asleep until about 10:30 p.m. (and he slept completely through the night, not even getting up once, waking up at 8:30 a.m.) He wanted to keep playing. He also got on his hands and knees and rocked the house down. He kept rocking back and forth on the bed, forcefully propelling himself forward. He did, however, fall face first into pillows, not realizing that he has to put his hand down quickly to catch himself. He will be crawling in no time, I keep telling myself. And it'll probably happen when I'm back at work, unaware that my baby has just learned a life-changing skill. *Sigh*

    Anyway...Linus, King of the Turds, decided to shit in the basement this morning, smearing it as he walked around. He was out in the yard twice before he even did it, too. Thank goodness it's a ceramic tile floor. He must've been holding it because he knew Blondie had to go to work this morning. He was going to show her who her boss is; him! He got the cage. Java slept on our bed last night. She takes up a lot of space, but at least she's snuggly...and not smelly.

    Blondie's at work right now and she has a lunch date this afternoon, so she probably won't be back until after her classes tonight. I won't get to see her. Hubby's at work, too. He usually has Mondays off, but this week it's Tuesday. He's playing golf on Tuesday, too. It'll be just me and the baby today. Hopefully, he takes his naps today. He's taking his morning nap right now, actually. He's probably still tired from all the fresh air he got yesterday. Come to think of it, I'm still tired, too. I can't stop sneezing, either. I'm sure it's my allergies and not a cold. Bummer.

    I hope your Monday is a good one, so far. I can't complain...I love Mondays.

    Sunday, August 14, 2005

    Today is a No Cookies For You Day...

    Today we are going to my Hubby's company picnic. Blondie's coming with us. Maybe she can meet a guy. We should have a good time. Only one guy from his work has seen Jack, so it'll be nice for them to see Hubby's spawn. There are other relatively new babies to see, as well. If it rains, we are screwed because there won't be a picnic then. So let's hope for a nice day.

    Jack woke up three times last night. He's making it easy, though. All I have to do in the middle of the night is pop the nummy back in his mouth and give him his cloth diaper to snuggle. He goes back to sleep immediately. Of course, now that I've put it in writing, he'll start a new trend!

    Some time between last night and this morning, one of the dogs chewed up the corner of the cushion on the basement couch. It could've been either one of them. There were monkey brains (stuffing) all over, so someone had a good time. And it looks terrible. Today is a No Cookies For You Day for the dogs.

    I got my pay stub in the mail because it's summer and I take advantage of direct deposit year-round. For once, I think my paycheck is correct. It's a miracle, really. I can't believe I go back to work in seventeen days! I've been on maternity leave since January 21st! I was fortunate enough to have been able to go that long without a paycheck. Now, however, I must join the working world again. I'm really glad I was able to stay home this long. I did it because I wasn't sure when or if I could do that again. And I'm all the better for it.

    I hope you're enjoying your Sunday. I'm having fun with this No Cookies For You Day, but I don't think the dogs are.

    Saturday, August 13, 2005

    Eatmisery Is Borderline Today...

    It's 9:30 a.m. and I'm already pissed off and happy at the same time.

    I have standing water in my bathtub and I don't know if it was from my shower yesterday morning, or if Blondie took a shower last night. Either way, it doesn't matter. There's standing fucking water in my tub.

    I told Hubby a month ago that the water was going down slowly. The last time this happened, we had to have a guy come out to clean out the sewer that runs from the house to the street. And not a single tampon or baby wipe has been flushed since then...plumber's orders. Although, I will admit that the last time was worse; when you'd flush the toilet, its contents would come up in the tub. Right now, it's just standing water in the tub that just won't go down. Thank goodness there's no fecal matter in it. I had to take my shower this morning in standing fucking water because I didn't want to wake up the baby by using the upstairs bathroom. And I really have no idea what to do about it. I'm not inclined to put a drain cleaner in the tub, for fear that it won't work and I'll end up with standing water filled with poisonous drain cleaner in the tub. Woe is me. Any ideas? I've already tried plunging and I'm seconds away from calling a professional, which we don't have the money for, really. What could I do to fix it and save myself the dough? Help!

    So, what is making me happy right now, you ask? Baby Jack slept in his crib last night and only woke up once. Hubby popped the nummy back in his mouth and he wound up sleeping until 8:30 a.m. (He fell asleep at around 10 p.m. last night.) I was expecting a rougher night for him since he'd gotten three shots at the doctor yesterday. Instead, what I got was uninterrupted sleep for myself. Amen to that.

    Of course, Jack has to counteract that wonderful night of slumber by fighting with me about eating his breakfast this morning. Every spoonful was like pulling teeth with him, teeth he doesn't even have yet. That could've been my fault, though. I gave him his vitamins for the very first time before I fed him. You should've seen the God-awful face he made when he swallowed them. I should've taken a picture! When he gets them tomorrow, I'll be sure to give him his vitamins in the middle or near the end of breakfast...provided he doesn't fight me.

    And there you have it...I'm pissed off and happy at the same time. I have a feeling today will be a very strange day...at least in my head. Thank goodness I don't have PMS! I'm sure you'd be able to hear me roar from wherever you're located.

    Have a great day and think of me when you look at your tub!

    Friday, August 12, 2005

    Part Two of Today...

    Yes, we're back from the doctor's office. If you didn't know we were there, see the previous post for today.

    All is well. My six month old son,Jack, is, like I predicted, growing like a weed. The measurements below prove it:

    *Weight: 16 lbs.
    *Length: 25.5 inches
    *Head Circumference: 45 cm, although I have my misgivings about that since they used two measuring tapes!

    This means that:

    *He's in the 25th percentile for weight-for-age.
    *He's in the 10th percentile for length-for-age.
    *He's right smack in the middle of 50th-75th percentile for weight-for-length.
    *He has jumped up the head circumference-for-age percentile by being in the 50th-75th.

    That means he's short, like his Mama and Papa. I'm 5'2" and my husband is 5'8". It's highly unlikely our kid will be playing in the NBA. It also means he's proportionate. He's a little smaller than the average kid, but he's just right. I still can't believe he's sixteen pounds already! I remember it like yesterday when he was doing somersaults inside me, wedging his feet in my ribs. I miss it, to be honest.

    Now, my little guy is getting to be a big boy. He sat up so well in the doctor's office. He didn't put up a fuss when the nurse took his measurements. He even opened his mouth for the tongue depressor! That's my baby. He cried a little for the first shot. And then he started looking around like nothing had happened. It's when he got the second and third shots that he wailed. I have nightmares about the look on his face when he gets them. Within ten minutes, however, he was asleep. He's been sleeping for the last hour and a half; that's why I'm blogging.

    After he settled himself into his crib, I ran to the store to get him some vitamins. I bought PolyViSol by Enfamil for him. I forgot how much vitamins stink. Yeck! His doctor didn't seem to think him drinking only 20-25 ounces of formula a day was an issue, as long as he is eating his solids, too. I figured putting him on vitamins will make sure he's getting everything his body needs, especially now that I'm not nursing him anymore. We can also start him on meat anytime now. Oh, how he will love pureed cow and pig! And soft table foods, too (like the itty bitty pieces of French bread he wouldn't eat the other day and the French fry I gave him yesterday). I'd like to see how he reacts to a frozen bagel.

    So...my point is that Jack's check-up went well and he's A-Ok! And we don't take him back until he's nine months old. His next set of shots isn't until he's a year old! Yeah, baby. It gives me time to bury the image I keep seeing of his face when he gets his vaccinations, only to open up that mental wound again six months from now. I love him and don't like to see how upset he gets when he has his shots. I'm just thankful it doesn't have to happen every day. I wish for an ideal world where no child ever has to have any pain of any kind.

    Yep, I'm a Mother. But maybe I'm still cool, after all.

    I Can't Stand The Shots Part...

    Well, in about twenty minutes, I'll be taking Baby Jack for his six-month check-up and shots. How I hate the shots part, as all of you know! I've printed out some growth charts for the following percentiles and I've plotted out all his previous measurements, too. I'm keeping on top of this so that if I feel he's not eating enough at times, I can reassure myself that he's keeping up with the curve he set for himself. I've got four growth charts with me: weight-for-age, length-for-age, weight-for-length, and head circumference-for-age percentiles. So far, according to previous doctor visits, he's following the same curve. Let's see what today's measurements bring. I'm kind of excited about it because he's become such a big boy since the day he was born. It's funny how fast they grow. I miss him being six and a half pounds because now it's like carrying a large linebacker around. He just won't stop growing like a weed and I love it!

    Yes, I am every doctor's worst nightmare. I come prepared, informed, and on the defense. Be glad you're not my son's doctor or teacher. I am the parent you dread at parent-teacher conferences. That's all I've got to say.

    I've changed so much since I became a Mom. I used to be cool, but that's a topic for an entirely different blog post altogether! If I have time later, I'll post on how the appointment went. Have a great day!

    Thursday, August 11, 2005

    Some Humor For Your Day...

    I received these jokes in an email from a friend of mine. I thought they would add some humor to your day. Enjoy!


    WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
    She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
    Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
    Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
    Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
    And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.


    WOMEN'S REVENGE
    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the
    woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet
    I noticed a remote control for a television set in her
    purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
    "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come
    shopping with me, and I figured this was the most
    evil thing I could do to him legally."


    UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
    (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
    I know I'm not going to understand women.
    I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax
    pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
    and still be afraid of a spider.


    MARRIAGE SEMINAR
    While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with
    communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the
    instructor,! "It is essential that husbands and wives know
    the things that are important to each other."
    He addressed the man,
    "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
    Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and
    whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
    The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.


    CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
    A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down
    the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can
    help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of
    tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct
    aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton
    balls and a ball of string on the counter.
    She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for
    some tampons for your wife? He answers, " You see, it's like this,
    yesterday,
    I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,
    and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
    papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.

    So, I figure if I have to roll my own........... so does she.
    (I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)


    WIFE VS. HUSBAND
    A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
    not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an
    argument and neither of them wanted to concede their
    position As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,
    and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
    "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."


    WORDS
    A husband read an article to his wife about how many
    words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
    The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we
    have to repeat everything to men...
    The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"


    CREATION
    A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you
    can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
    The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made
    me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
    God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"


    WHO DOES WHAT
    A man and his wife were having an argument about who
    should brew the coffee each morning.
    The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
    first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
    coffee."
    The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking
    around here and you should do it, because that is your
    job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
    Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it
    is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
    Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
    So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New
    Testament and showed him at the top of several pages,
    that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"


    I hope you had a good chuckle from one of these today! If you get a chance, go on over to Fist Tickle Brick's blog to see my very own first guest-post on a blog! FTB is out of town, so I wrote a post in place of him on his blog. Have a great day!

    Wednesday, August 10, 2005

    Sounds I Love to Hear...

    -The sound of my baby when he laughs, grunts, or screeches (basically, any sound he makes is music to my ears; yes, even the crying)

    -My dog's yawning (AAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEE)

    -My husband, breathing in his sleep (for that matter, the dog, too)

    -Hubby's keys unlocking the door

    -Classical music played anywhere

    -Orchestra meets Heavy Metal

    -Silence

    -Any sound I hear Up North (in Minocqua) is a reminder of the peace I came in search of

    -A student saying, "Oh, yeah...." when he/she understands a concept (all the while looking at me like I'm God)

    -The start of my car's engine (who doesn't like the way their car sounds?)

    -My nephew Bubba's laughter (with and without the snorting, too)

    -My mother's piano playing is always soothing

    -Fingernails on a chalkboard (doesn't bother me a bit, but it bothers my students. Ask me how I know, I dare you.)

    -The sound of snow (if you can imagine)

    -The absence of traffic (used to live on a busy street...noisy as hell, pollution galore)

    -Cubs fans at Wrigley Field (including the seventh inning stretch)

    -Thunderstorms in Minocqua (or anywhere else, but they're especially terrifying Up North)

    -The car pulling up the gravel road Up North

    -Bacon frying (sizzle is good, plus I like the word "sizzle")

    -My recently deceased dog barking her ever-loving head off out my car window (she was my horn for two years)

    -My Gram's voice is music to my ears, as gravelly as it is.

    -The 2:42 bell that signals school is over (the workday has ended)

    -Hubby saying he loves me

    -The dogs snorting when I rub their ears

    -Christmas music (signals a "happy" season)

    -A house full of happy guests

    -The crunching sound the dead leaves make when you walk through them

    -Laughter of any kind


    What sounds do you love?

    Tuesday, August 09, 2005

    A Meme for Me...

    This meme was sent to me courtesy of Nicole. If you ever wanted to know something about me, here it is...


    *1 IF YOU COULD BUILD YOUR HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD THAT BE ~ Minocqua, Wisconsin...I love the Northwoods

    *2 FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING ~ Anything that doesn't have spit-up or baby drool on it

    *3 LAST CD BOUGHT~ Mairzy Doats from YesterMusic (a collection of songs from the 1940's)

    4 WHAT TIME DO I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING ~ Right now, I wake up any time between 7 and 9 a.m. However, in a few weeks, I have to wake up by 6 a.m. to go back to work (blah).

    *5 FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE ~ My dishwasher

    *6 I YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT WHAT WOULD IT BE ~ Acoustic guitar; I know how to read music because I played the piano as a kid. String instruments are sexy.

    *7 MY FAVORITE COLOR ~ Cobalt blue, but I don't wear it. I prefer wearing neutrals.

    *8 PREFER SUV, CAR OR TRUCK ~ SUV (that's what I have)

    *9 DO I BELIEVE IN THE AFTERLIFE ~ I suppose anything is possible.

    *10 FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK ~ Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss

    *11 FAVORITE SEASON ~ I'd say summer because that's when I don't have to work (I'm a teacher), but it's a toss-up between spring and fall, really.

    *12 IF I HAD A SUPERPOWER WHAT WOULD IT BE ~ The ability to read minds (THAT could be very dangerous)

    *13 WHAT IS YOUR TATTOO IF YOU HAVE ONE ~ I designed it myself and choose not to explain its meaning.

    *14 CAN YOU JUGGLE ~ The baby, the ringing phone, a barking dog, and laundry...all at the same time

    *15 WHO WOULD I GO BACK AND TALK TO IN THE PAST ~ I'd talk to Buddha (my dog that passed away a few months ago)

    *16 FAVORITE DAY ~ Mondays, especially when it's raining

    *17 WHAT IS IN THE TRUNK OF MY CAR ~ I have no trunk (see #8)

    *18 DO I PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER ~ Depends what time of the month it is (hee, hee!); I like them both equally well.

    *19 FAVORITE ERA OF TIME ~ The 1920's to the 1940's; I love the music and clothing from then, but music from the 1980's is my favorite.

    *20 FAVORITE HOLIDAY'S ~ All school holidays (duh!)

    *21 FAVORITE PERSON IN YOUR LIFE (other then your sig. other & children) ~ That's not a fair question. My family is comprised of all my favorite people; I won't single any one of them out, so I'm going to go with the only other obvious choice...my payroll clerk.

    *22 FAVORITE FLOWER ~ Carnations (I can't stand roses, really.)

    *23 WHAT IS MY FAVORITE MEAL ~ Any meal I don't have to shovel down my gullet at record speed (which doesn't happen often enough)


    Did you learn anything new about me or are you surprised by any of my answers?

    Monday, August 08, 2005


    Jackaroo! Posted by Picasa

    Six Months...

    ...is such a short time. I can remember vividly when you came into my life. You were a beautiful baby and I'm not just saying that because you're my son. You instantly reminded me of your Papa because I could already see similar features. Your birth brought a tiny miracle into my arms and you've grown so much since then.

    You do all kinds of things now, Jack. You roll in both directions on the bed...fast! You need only a little support when you're sitting up. You've conquered peas, carrots, sweet potatoes, green beans, applesauce, bananas, pears, and peaches and all the cereals. You've also let me learn the hard way that you don't like squash! There's a game you play every time you eat. It's the Smile Really Big And Keep Your Mouth Shut Game; this gets played when you eat so that I can't feed you. When I finally give up, you suddenly want to eat. I like that game. You're also practicing mastering your sippy cup. You sit in your highchair well and have found your voice, as well. I can hear you from any room in the house. You utter a multitude of consonants, though it will be years before you know what any of them mean. And you also love the water, as is evident from the amount of water on the floor after you take your bath. Smiling and screeching at the dogs is one of your hobbies. You love to stand on our laps and jump up and down until our arms hurt from being your gymnastics spotter. You express your emotions well, too. You laugh, smile, get frustrated, and get may-ad...with gusto. You even creep and you rock on your hands and knees! Your sleeping habits have become routine now and you're also using your crib. I'm having a difficult time putting you in your crib at night. I tried to last night, but I just couldn't pry you out of my arms. I wanted one more night of snuggling. I wanted to awaken in the morning with your smile right next to me. And I did today.

    I've learned so much from you and about you. You're a happy baby. You eat well, sleep well, and play well. I've learned a little bit of patience, too. We've got a nice routine and it's going to be hard for me to go to work at the end of the month. I'm going to miss you for the 40 hours a week we'll be apart. I do know, however, that the look I get from you every time I come home will be priceless. And we'll love each other that much more. (Plus, Mama needs a paycheck so you can get more toys!) There are times when I watch you sleep. You like to sleep on your tummy and you move all over the crib. I've learned that I'm still getting kicked in the ribs at night, even though I'm not pregnant anymore. (That's one of the reasons you need to go in your crib at night.) I watch your face express sheer delight when you see the dogs walk near you. I love that look. Papa and I still can't believe the hospital ever let us take you home. We're so new at this, but we've become pros since you came around. There's still so much for us all to learn, too.

    I love being your Mama. I don't even remember what I did before you came into my life! You've made my life so full and so purposeful. I hope I never disappoint you. From the bottom of my heart, I love you. I have a feeling the next six months will go by just as fast as the last six. And I plan on cherishing every moment.

    Happy Half Birthday, Jackaroo! Your Mama loves you!

    Sunday, August 07, 2005

    Such Is The Life...


    Life would be so much easier if our only worries were about getting in trouble for munching on the grass and about frolicking in the sprinkler on a hot summer day. Posted by Picasa

    Saturday, August 06, 2005

    Not Quite Dog Eat Dog...


    ...more like Dog Spooning Dog. Java (my 76-pound Chocolate Lab) and Linus (my niece Blondie's 19-pound Welsh Corgi; yes, he's gained 3 pounds since they moved in with us!) are best friends forever. Posted by Picasa

    Brought To You By Popular Demand...


    Yes, these are Linus the Corgi's balls. See this post for why this picture is on here. Madman and a few others wanted to see them, so you can give him hell about it, if you like. I'm just an innocent bystander...cough, cough. Sorry if you were just grossed out. I won't do something like this again. Hee, hee!Posted by Picasa

    Friday, August 05, 2005

    Things Stressed Women Say at Work...

    I am going to have to memorize this list before I go back to work next month. I will need to use these comebacks:

    1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.
    2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
    3. Well this day was a total waste of make up.
    4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
    5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
    6. Do I look like a people person?
    7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
    8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
    9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
    10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
    11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
    12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
    13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
    14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
    15. Stress is what you have when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet.
    16. Back off!! You're standing in my aura.
    17. Don't worry, I forgot your name too.
    18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
    19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
    20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
    21. Chaos, panic and disorder...my work here is done.
    22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
    23. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
    24. Earth is full. Go home.
    25. Aw, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?
    26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
    27. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
    28. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
    29. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
    30. Look in my eyes...do you see one ounce of gives-a-shit?


    Have a great day! I hope this list can help you out, too. By the way, which one of the above is your favorite?

    Thursday, August 04, 2005

    Eighteen Things We Can Learn From a Dog...

    I don't remember where I obtained these, but I find them to be very useful in life. Now, if only I could obey them diligently...

    1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

    2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

    3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

    4. When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.

    5. Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

    6. Take naps and stretch before rising.

    7. Run, romp, and play daily.

    8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

    9. Be loyal.

    10 Never pretend to be something you're not.

    11. If what you want is buried, dig until you find it.

    12. When someone is having a bad hair day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzzle him or her gently.

    13. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

    14. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

    15. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

    16. When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

    17. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

    18. No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout.......run right back and make friends.


    I swear, on some days, I wish I was my dog. Today is one of those days.

    Wednesday, August 03, 2005

    Random Things I Love the Smell of...

    1. A garage (gasoline, in general)
    2. Puppy breath
    3. Baby smell
    4. Tollhouse cookies baking
    5. Wet dog
    6. Hubby's side of the bed
    7. Roma's beef sandwiches
    8. Downy liquid fabric softener
    9. Dog paws (smell like popcorn or Ritz crackers)
    10. Dittos (fresh from the machine; it's the teacher in me)
    11. Report cards (computerized, not handwritten; how strange!)
    12. Pumpkin pie
    13. Right before it rains
    14. Baby oil
    15. Coppertone
    16. Bleach (I know it's clean.)
    17. Most of the Demeter fragrances
    18. Lime
    19. Dirt (damp)
    20. Hubby's pillow
    21. BandAids
    22. Standard black markers
    23. Tempera paints
    24. Crayola crayons
    25. Magic Sizing Spray Starch
    26. Carnations (can't stand roses)
    27. Hospital smell (believe it or not)
    28. Dentist's office (although I hate being there)
    29. Snow (clean, not dirty)
    30. The smell of green (if you can imagine it)
    31. Burning fireplace (burning wood or paper, in general)
    32. New car smell meets dog smell
    33. A library
    34. New books
    35. Orange meets chocolate
    36. Christmas tree
    37. Springtime
    38. Casino smell (yes, I know that's gross)
    39. Church incense
    40. New car smell
    41. Fresh laundry from the dryer
    42. Freshly baked bread
    43. Cinnamon rolls
    44. Bacon frying
    45. The ocean (the salty air)
    46. Beer (just the smell of Old Style puts me back on Grandpa's lap)
    47. A just-fired shotgun
    48. Firecrackers
    49. Smoke bombs
    50. Stink bombs, believe it or not
    51. Swiss Lorraine cheese
    52. Bed Head hair products
    53. Orchids (remind me of Maui)
    54. Mom's storage rooms
    55. A smoking pipe (reminds me of Dad prior to his cigar interest)
    56. A vacuumed rug
    57. Sleeping puppy (I love that smell. It means she's being quiet, too.)

    What do YOU love the smell of?

    Tuesday, August 02, 2005

    Experimenting With the Baby...

    Hubby and I decided to do a little experiment with Baby Jack. We switched his formula. For almost six months, he's been eating Enfamil Lacto-Free Lipil since he was born, in addition to breast milk (which I weaned him from last month). Last week, he began growling and fussing whenever I'd give him his mixed cereal made with the formula. It seems like he was saying he didn't like it or want it. So, last night, I gave him Similac Advance to see if he'd enjoy a different taste. It could be that my baby is bored and needed his palate tickled a little.

    According to a lot of the books and literature I've been reading about how much he's supposed to eat, he's eating the low end of what he should be. I'm not saying he's not eating enough formula; I'm saying he's eating the lowest amount he should be. Sometimes what he takes in is average, other times it's below. Of course, the averages are all different in everything I read. Supposedly, he should be taking in anywhere from 16 to 40 ounces a day. Books and the Internet are, however, resources and not written in stone. Since every baby is different and they, essentially, let you know when they've had enough, I'm not too worried. He's gaining weight and getting pudgy, so I'm only worried because he's not meeting a book's expectations. And, for that, I'm being ridiculously silly. My baby's not a textbook baby and nothing about his delivery was, either. He could just be finicky like me.

    I have to make a doctor appointment for him so he can get his six-month shots and check-up. I assume she'll have me give him vitamins now, which is fine by me. As long as he continues growing like he is, I know he's fine. He's just my fickle baby. He gets four meals a day (breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a bottle before bedtime). For breakfast, lunch, and dinner, he gets about an ounce and a half of a fruit and a veggie each, one and a half tablespoons of mixed cereal, and he usually drinks four ounces (sometimes five) of formula before he gets any of the solid food. He's growing and gaining weight, but I still don't know if it's enough food for him. A part of me doesn't want to overstuff him or force him to finish his bottle if he doesn't want it. I don't want mealtime to become something he dreads. I can't force him to finish his bottle if he truly doesn't want it. He just might be like me and eat what he wants, when he wants to. I was like that as a kid. Can you really pass that on genetically to your kids?

    I know a couple of people who had to switch their baby's formula several times, just because they got bored. I'm new to this whole Motherhood World, so I'm going by my instincts right now. My Mom and My Sister both tell me to always trust my instincts. Instincts are there and they mean something. So, I'm going to trust my intuition and see where it takes us.

    And now that my employer has reinstated our health insurance (yea!), we can go ahead and make that appointment. Now, if only they would reinstate our dental insurance, I could actually go to the dentist (which I need to do), too!

    Is there anyone out there that has had a similar problem with their baby eating a lot less formula after the introduction of solids? Baby Jack has no problem whatsoever eating his veggies and his fruits. He'll gobble down the mixed cereal, too, especially if I mix it with baby fruit juice. I like to mix it with his formula so he gets the extra vitamins he needs, but when he fusses about it, I seem to get it down his gullet better if it's mixed with the baby juice. Now, before you get down my throat about giving him any juice at all, I've also read that it's okay for him to have up to four ounces of diluted juice a day. He doesn't drink that much, for the record, but he could and it wouldn't harm him. Sometimes, it's just another way to get extra fluids into him, especially when it's so hot out.

    Any ideas on what's going on with him?

    Monday, August 01, 2005

    On Walks and Balls...

    My dog, Java, is the Beyonce of Chocolate Labradors. Let me explain.

    She walks around the yard with an exaggerated sway. Her hips move to and fro like she's rocking the Earth, shaking it on its axis. She takes deliberate steps with a swagger that only Beyonce (the singer formerly from Destiny's Child, for those of you who don't know who that is) would. You know the kind of walk I'm talking about. It's the way a model walks down the runway. It's a series of carefully timed steps with grossly exaggerated hip movements accompanied by the "I'm so much sexier than you" attitude.

    Yep, this is how my dog walks. Hubby and I were talking about it yesterday when I told him that she's the Beyonce of Chocolate Labradors. He laughed when I told him that it would be a good blog post for me. He, of course, thinks I'm nuts. I, on the other hand, think we're both nuts for analyzing the way our dog walks around the yard, studying each movement purposely, delighted in each other's descriptions. Maybe we're not nuts; maybe we're just an old married couple now.

    Speaking of nuts, Blondie brought home her dog's balls in a plastic urine cup, surrounded by formaldehyde. Surprisingly, they're a lot smaller than I thought they would be. (What did I think would come out of a tiny Corgi?) I expected hairy walnuts and they turned out to be completely different than I imagined. They're pearly; they're tiny; he misses them, I'm sure. I've never seen something like that before, so I am a bit amazed.

    I knew you wanted to hear this today.