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Taking one day at a time...

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  • Wednesday, November 30, 2005

    The Forgotten Post...

    In all the excitement about losing and finding Linus, I forgot to tell you about my doctor appointment this past Monday.

    Everything went very well. All my blood tests came back normal, so that makes me very happy. The baby is growing, the heartbeat is strong, and my next appointment is on December 30th. I have orders for an ultrasound, to be done sometime near the end of December, before my next doctor visit. I'm hoping it can be scheduled the day after Christmas so Hubby can go with me and see his newest offspring. I'm off from December 24th (can you believe school gets out on the 23rd?) and I don't go back until January 9th. Yippee!

    I love my new OB/GYN. He did my C-section with Jack, so I trust him. And he's compassionate and he knows his shit, unlike my previous doctor who I now call Dr. Dipshit. She really was/is an idiot. Thank goodness she's history. In fact, I'm in the process of switching all of our doctors because it's open enrollment time for health insurance. I win, no matter how you look at it. As long as none of us have to see Dr. Dipshit, life is a beautiful thing.

    I can't believe I forgot to post about my doctor visit. I guess it was so uneventful that it slipped my mind until now. That's how I like my doctor visits to drama and smooth sailing.

    Did I tell you that I think the baby is going to be a boy? I have a feeling. I'm sticking straight out, which is how I carried Jack. Hubby also thinks the baby's going to be a boy, too, so maybe we're onto something here. No names have been set in stone, so I can't really post about that yet.

    I haven't posted any belly pics. I don't know if I will, really. I know people like to see those kinds of things, but I'm pretty private about most things, in general. Who knows? Maybe I'll get the urge to put a belly pic on here and surprise the hell out of all of you. The only thing, in my opinion, prettier than a pregnant woman is the baby she creates inside her. That's the best thing in the whole world. Just look at Jack. He's gorgeous and I think I've found my true knack...making pretty babies.

    I'm the luckiest woman in the world.

    Tuesday, November 29, 2005

    Linus Update...




    Apparently, he was found by a little girl in the church parking lot a couple blocks away. They must've taken him in last night and seen the flyers this morning. The mother called and Linus is now safe and sound, resting in our home as he should.

    Thanks for all the encouraging comments. We all hope this never, ever happens again. One thing we know for sure...Linus is loved more than he even knows.

    Welcome home, Boy!

    Monday, November 28, 2005


    My name is Linus. If you find me, please bring me back home. I got out of the yard through the fence today and I'm lost. Pray that I get home safely. My family misses me very much. Posted by Picasa

    Sunday, November 27, 2005

    Only 28 More Days...

    Hey, Mom...I think I see Santa coming! Posted by Picasa

    Saturday, November 26, 2005

    Family Time...

    Yesterday's feast was a great success! There were full bellies, warm hearts, and pleasant conversations; all in abundance. It was a great day to be at my house.

    Baby Jack did have another bout with diarrhea, but that was due to the table food he ate at Thanksgiving dinner the night before. I don't think he's ready for table food completely yet. He can have a little here and there, but not a feast. His little digestive system is just too new for that. He's better today, though, but that's probably because I didn't give him any table food whatsoever yesterday. I'm hoping that my instincts are correct and that he doesn't have anymore episodes today. His poor little booty is hurting. The last time he had a diaper rash was shortly after he was born, while still in the hospital; they'd given him antibiotics and that was the cause. I'm proud to say that this is really his first diaper rash since then. And I am spackling his butt with plenty of the miraculous diaper cream all mothers know about.

    Right now, Jack is napping in his crib, warm and snug. We'll be going to my Mother's later for another feast, so he needs his energy and he needs this solitude. Our house has been pretty noisy for the last couple of days, so this little bit of quiet time will do him some good and get him ready for this afternoon's frenzy. He slept very well the last couple of nights, so the abundance of activity he's had in the past few days has been beneficial to him...and us! With him sleeping for huge stretches of time each night, Hubby and I are able to sleep, as well. This makes it a very happy home.

    I got a pleasant surprise yesterday when my mail came. One of my fellow bloggers sent me a box full of an abundance of gifts, just because she cares and she's that kind of person. I knew it was coming, but I was still grinning like a kid on Christmas when I got it. It made me feel very good. Thanks, Beans! You're one of a kind, you know.

    Hubby went shopping yesterday and came home with new blinds for our living and dining rooms. My Sister helped him put the ones up in the dining room and the room feels so much bigger now. They've replaced the vertical blinds we had that came with the house when we bought it. I'm not much of a vertical blinds kind of gal, so I was elated when I saw what the new horizontal blinds did for that room. Now I don't have to worry about Jack strangling himself on the cords from the old blinds. And we just have to put up the living room ones and we're set for safety. I also need to look for curtains, but I'm in no rush to do that. I like the clean look the new blinds are giving the room. Yay!

    I hope you're all having a great weekend. Today feels like a Sunday to me, but that's because the last few days have been so busy and it's the first time I've actually been alone in a while. Since there's nothing for me to clean and nothing urgent for me to do, I think I'll just chill out and wait for Baby Jack to get up. I'll pack his diaper bag and have it ready so we can just go right after his lunch bottle. He can eat his baby food at my Mom's house when we get there. My Sister and her brood leave tomorrow, so I want to make sure I get some quality time in with her and her kids before they go home to Kansas.

    Have a great weekend!

    Friday, November 25, 2005

    We're Having Our Own Feast Today...

    We're having a dozen people, including ourselves, feasting at our house today. It's going to be a lot of fun! Blondie, Princess, my Sister, and I will be creating lasagna roll-ups. By the end of the day, my house will smell like an Italian restaurant. The roll-ups will rest in a delicate bechamel sauce and they'll have spinach, ground beef (replacing the prosciutto in the original recipe), and ricotta (of course) in them. Accompanied with the lasagna will be garlic bread and a colorful salad. Dessert will consist of two huge pies; one is pumpkin, the other is apple. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it.

    To keep the boys busy, we'll have a gingerbread house that needs to be assembled and decorated. Jack's too little to help with that, but my two nephews will get a kick out of it. They can create their very own masterpiece. And anyone else that wants to help them can, as well. I'm really looking forward to the whole day.

    My Sister and her boys will be over this afternoon. I can't wait to see them and squeeze them hard. Hubby's got to get the garlic bread because I forgot it when I went to the store. He's also going to venture out into the shopping world today, at his own risk, of course. Pray for him.

    Other than that, Baby Jack had a great day yesterday, with all the festivities. We went to my Mother's and my in-laws'. He was wiped out by the time we got home. He slept well last night, but kept getting very congested. He'd spit out his nummy because he couldn't breathe through his nose, and then he'd wake up and cry because his nummy wasn't in his mouth. Thank goodness for saline nasal sprays for babies...and booger suckers, too.

    He's already shit twice today and I'm looking forward to more where that came from. At least, they're semi-normal now. He had table foods yesterday, so I do expect some deviations from the norm, as far as diaper contents are concerned. I knew you wanted to read about that.

    I hope you have a restful day. Wish us luck on our feast with the family. It's going to be some awesome "quality time."

    P.S. Aren't you glad I put up a new post so you didn't have to look at yesterday's picture anymore? I know my family's glad. Hee, hee!

    Thursday, November 24, 2005

    A Little Holiday Humor...

    Happy Thanksgiving! Posted by Picasa

    Wednesday, November 23, 2005

    Diarrhea! Cha, Cha, Cha...

    I know you want to read this.

    Baby Jack had diarrhea pretty bad while I was at work yesterday. He's never had that before. He's got another tooth popping through, so it might be that. There wasn't anything new in his diet lately, except two teeny tiny pieces of bologna the other night. I don't think that did it, though. His explosive bowel movements continued into the night, too, until he went to bed at around 9pm, unbelievably exhausted from his diaper eruptions. So, I'm home today. Even though Hubby was off today, I still didn't feel right about leaving Jack this morning. He was fussing and crabbing and was just feeling punky all around. He wasn't able to keep much food or liquids in his system yesterday, so the Mama in me decided that going to work today would not be in Jack's best interest. So be it. I'm sure plenty of people called in sick at work today and that substitutes were hard to get, but my excuse is legitimate. I may get heat for it, but I'll bring a soiled diaper just to prove it, if I have to. Believe me, my diaper genie is full of them.

    I've got family coming in from Kansas today, so I also needed to stock up on food. I didn't want them thinking we live on fast food. Ha! I had to clean, clean, and clean some more, but not because we're filthy pigs. I needed to do it for myself. I feel better in a clean house and I really do clean it once a week. With two dogs, I have to. And cleaning is therapy for therapy.

    The basement is Blondie's job. I'm not writing any more about that.

    Baby Jack took a half-hour nap this morning and fussed the rest of the time. He's not a happy camper today, but he did eat quite well. I'm still waiting for a ruthless explosion to come out of his ass and I dread it, to be honest. He's napping right now, so I'm able to eke out a blog post quickly. I hope he's feeling better soon. A full belly could produce one of two results; he could be just fine now or it could render explosive diarrhea as if his tiny booty was Mount St. Helen's. For breakfast, he drank six ounces of formula, ate a whole jar of apple/strawberry/bananas, half of a jar of apple/sweet potatoes (only because he was screaming for more food), 3 tablespoons of dry mixed cereal (combined with Pedialyte), and a little more than an ounce of Pedialyte in a bottle. He was starving because he couldn't keep anything in yesterday. My poor little guy... Hopefully, all of the contents of his stomach don't race out of him at breakneck speed. Keep your fingers crossed.

    I hope you'll have a safe travel to and from your holiday destinations. If you're having your own feast at home, I hope no one gets sick from what you make. Hee, hee! And I wish no one, not even my worst enemy, a horrific case of diarrhea. Okay...maybe Tom Cruise.

    Tuesday, November 22, 2005


    1. I'm so glad I never tried his method. It turns out he's full of shit anyway.

    2. How's this for freedom of speech?

    3. I'm really glad I don't live there. How much good could he possibly do for that place? He's barely got hair in his underarms, let alone a knack for civics.

    4. Somebody give this kid a sandwich.

    5. Who's the real dummy?

    6. Merry f*cking the way...

    7. He should fry.

    8. Call it "stress" all you want; I call it a coke diet and one too many colonics.

    9. Who cares? Why does stupid shit like this make the news?

    10. I saw a twelve-year-old kid on the news at six-thirty this morning (here in Chicago), skipping school to stand in line with his father for one of these. As a teacher and a mother, I am appalled.

    I'm all "news-ed" out, really...

    Monday, November 21, 2005

    I Am The Stuffing...

    You Are The Stuffing

    You're complicated and complex, yet all your pieces fit together.
    People miss you if you're gone - but they're not sure why.

    Sunday, November 20, 2005

    Unimportant Things You May Or May Not Already Know...

    1. The most widely eaten fish in the world is herring.
    2. Most arguments in the home take place in the kitchen.
    3. Dr. Pepper is said to contain 23 fruit flavors.
    4. On average, babies born in May are 7 ounces heavier than those born in other months. (May 4th is my due date. Doh!)
    5. Houseflies prefer to breed in the middle of a room.
    6. Animal crackers come in 18 different species.
    7. Albert Einstein was convinced his cat suffered from depression.
    8. This one makes me sick: Worldwide, about 20% of all married couples are first cousins.
    9. If you go without sleep for ten days straight, you will die.
    10. The word "disco" means "I learn" in Latin.
    11. Ingrown toenails are hereditary.
    12. Big Bird's address is 123 1/2 Sesame Street.
    13. Fifty-seven percent of Americans barbecue year-round.
    14. The average person's skeleton accounts for 20% of their body weight.
    15. The average age of a new grandparent in the U.S. is 47.
    16. The Congo is the only river that flows both north and south of the equator.
    17. Half of the genes in a banana are the same as in a human.
    18. Beavers sometimes get crushed by the trees they gnaw down.
    19. The first leap year was in 46 B.C.
    20. The human eyeball weighs about an ounce.

    Did you learn something irrelevant from this post today?

    Saturday, November 19, 2005

    Mr. Lovable...

    Jack is very much a "morning person," just like his Mama. Posted by Picasa

    I just know I can't be the only Mama out there who brings a camera to the table for her baby's mealtimes. This is Jack the other day at breakfast. He just loves the camera; he's my little ham.

    Last night, he was up quite a bit, restless from what may be another tooth on the way. This lovable little guy was wide awake just before 4 a.m. and didn't fall back asleep until around 6 a.m. I, myself, had to get my ass out of bed at 5:30 a.m. so I could make it to the hospital for some routine pregnancy blood tests and be back in time so that Hubby could leave for work by 8:45 a.m. After seven tubes of blood were taken from me, I felt the overwhelming urge to get 50 Munchkins from Dunkin' Donuts. And I made it back home with plenty of time to spare.

    Hubby and Jack were "fighting," so it wasn't exactly a pleasant morning for the two of them. Those 50 Munchkins I brought home made everything better. Jack had a taste of a powdered sugar one and now there's no turning back. This boy loves sugar and I'm in the process of cultivating a monster I like to call my baby. Just wait until he gets his first Hershey bar. You better believe I'll have the camera for that one!

    Jack and I spent the day at my Mom's, like we do most Saturdays. It was, as it always is, a fantastic day. He played a lot and even took a two-hour nap, even though he fought sleep for quite a while prior to succumbing to it. I even got a nap in, which is rare. And I'm all the better for it right now. Thanks, Mom.

    Blondie is napping right now; Jack is napping right now; and I am blogging and eating my Mom's homemade meatloaf with some mashed potatoes. Comfort food is best when it's made with love. Now that I don't gag and puke at the sight of meat anymore, I'm eating plenty of it. When I was pregnant with Jack, that's all I wanted to eat...meat and toasted bagels with cream cheese. I'm not craving the bagels as much with this pregnancy, but I'm finally not pushing away meat like it was poison. Maybe this one will be a boy, after all. Then again, I suppose we'll find that out later.

    One thing I know for sure, about this next baby, is that it's either going to be a boy or a girl, definitely not a Chocolate Labrador puppy. And I'm cool with that.

    Friday, November 18, 2005

    It's Been A Great Day, So Far...

    I left work at 1:15 p.m. today. I got paid for a full day, too. Where I work, you have to work 8:30 a.m. to 1:15 p.m. (or get there by 10:30 a.m. and work until 2:45 p.m.) to get paid for a full day, so that's what I did. It was heavenly to come home earlier for a change. Why I don't do that all the time, I'll never know. I'd actually contemplated taking the whole day off, but I didn't want to, as I'm known for changing my mind about stuff like that. Plus, there were a lot of teachers absent today and I only really wanted to skip last period. Leaving early didn't make me look bad at all.

    Baby Jack took a three-hour nap for Hubby this morning, so he was able to get so much done around the house. He cleaned his bathroom. He. Cleaned. His. Bathroom. He was even able to put in all of our storm windows, too. And when I got home, he vacuumed the whole main floor and washed the floors, as well. Then, he vacuumed out the dryer vent that goes to the outside, too. In the process, however, he dented the top of our washer because he kneeled on it to get to the vent. Consequently, when Blondie washed some of her scrubs for school, water wound up everywhere on the floor because the lid is now bent. I hope this isn't something that's going to happen every time we do laundry.

    Other than that, my world is spinning exactly as it should. And that's the way I like it. Thank goodness I have a husband who's not afraid of housework and a baby who's taking quality naps today.

    Thursday, November 17, 2005

    New Expressions I've Learned Today...

    Here are some new expressions/vocabulary terms I've learned from my eighth-graders today. Perhaps you know some of these, too. They make me feel old sometimes.

    *"Off the hook" means awesome.

    *"Tippin' on fo' vols" means to drive a cool car with spinning rims.

    *"Raw" means cool.

    *"Rollin' out with the 84's" describes certain rims on a car.

    *A "grill" is sort of like a partial for your front teeth. The grill is made of gold or silver and can be removed to be cleaned. "Ice" would be diamonds in the grill.

    There are many, many more where this came from. I don't know about you, but this doesn't make me feel any younger. Boy, am I glad I'm not part of this generation. I'd be lost. And I'd don't think I'd look very good with a grill.

    Out of the mouths of babes, I swear...

    Wednesday, November 16, 2005

    It's That Time Of Year Again...

    I can't believe the holidays are just around the corner. Next week is already Thanksgiving and you know what that means.

    It means I'm not leaving the house to do any holiday shopping whatsoever. Again.

    I can't handle the crowds. I'm pregnant (a great excuse I also got to use last year). I don't want to fight for a parking space. I hate the cold, but I don't mind the snow. I don't like waiting in lines. I hate people, in general, and the holidays seem to bring out the worst in so many people.

    This is the time of year Hubby gets to do all the running around and shopping. It's his bag, really. He loves to shop and I don't think Christmas crowds get to him. He's much more patient than I am.

    A few years ago, for a couple of years in a row, I did all my holiday shopping online. I never had a problem with it, either. I expected some glitches, but actually got none. There was no trouble with packages arriving on time and intact. I was pleased with that choice, and I wasn't even pregnant when I did it. I was just too lazy to go shopping and I hate people too much to stand in lines with them, waiting to spend my money.

    So, it's that time of year again, where Hubby and I get to decide what we're getting for whom. And he, of course, gets to do all the running around. I'm lucky in that respect. I married a man who loves to shop more than I do.

    Someone in this house has to be that can only be him. Patience, I swear, is his middle name.

    Tuesday, November 15, 2005

    Do You Know What Today Is?...

    Today, Baby Jack is 40 weeks old. That means he's been living outside of my body as long as he was living inside my body. He was actually born two days after his due date, so technically, this Thursday will mark this milestone for us (him being on the outside as long as he was on the inside). I guess this Thursday, I'll be feeling like this again.

    I can't believe he's already this old and I can't believe I'm his Mama. Today brings a joy to me that is both tender and bittersweet. You can protect your babies from the outside world when they're inside you, but you can't protect them from everything once they've exited your womb. It seems like only yesterday when I was watching my belly contort itself into odd shapes from his movements and feeling his life inside me like the miracle that it was.

    Today makes me want to jump around with glee, but it also makes me want to weep alone in a dark corner. I love my son more than I ever thought I could love anyone. This "milestone" may not mean much in the long run, but it means a lot to me today. It makes me realize just how vulnerable we all really are in the grand scheme of things.

    It also, however, makes me feel very fortunate to be this boy's Mama. He's a very lucky boy, if you ask me. I would do anything for him.

    Monday, November 14, 2005

    Bits & Pieces...

    Yesterday was an abnormally windy day here in Chicago. The bench swing in my backyard kept moving across the patio. The howling from the wind was quite spooky, as well. Once dinnertime came and went, the wind seemed to die down. I must say, though, that it was an unusual day, weatherwise. And tomorrow, it's supposed to snow a bit. How about that?

    I love the first snow of the season. It makes me feel like a kid again. I was contemplating taking tomorrow off only because I wanted to spend the first snowfall of the season with my son. However, I think it's more practical to use a sick day for when the snow is really coming down hard. If I had unlimited sick days, I'd be using them all the time. I like to dream about using my sick days, really. I secretly and openly wish to use them, but I tend to chicken out. I wind up biting the bullet and driving to work with my teeth clenched, pissed off that I didn't call in. Before I know it, though, my day is over and I'm on my way home, anyway.

    Today, Hubby is off and he's taking Baby Jack out and about. They'll be bonding at Home Depot and Target. Baby Jack will be worn out from all the sights, smells, and stimulation. I'm hoping he has a good nap this afternoon and an even better nighttime sleep tonight.

    I hope your day is going well. I'm still happy about last Friday's visit to my new OB/GYN, so I'm still on cloud nine. I can't think of anything to bitch about on here because I'm too happy to do so. Imagine that. Heh...

    Sunday, November 13, 2005

    The Many Faces of Jack...

    Grabbing the Cheerio between his thumb and index finger... Posted by Picasa

    ...and putting it into his mouth. Hooray! Posted by Picasa

    The "Studious" Look... Posted by Picasa

    The "Pensive" Look... Posted by Picasa

    The "Ultimate Charlie Brown Pumpkin Head Deluxe" Look, albeit a little blurry... Posted by Picasa

    The "GQ" Look... Posted by Picasa

    The "Look At Me, I'm Cute" Look... Posted by Picasa

    The "I Love My Mama" Look... Posted by Picasa

    He's got my eyes and my bone straight hair, you know, but everything else is his Papa's.  Posted by Picasa

    Saturday, November 12, 2005

    The Pincer Grasp Mastered...

    This morning, Baby Jack mastered the art of the pincer grasp. He's been practicing a lot with Cheerios and Gerber fruit and veggie puffs lately. Today, however, he had no trouble at all putting Cheerios into his mouth (one at a time, of course) using his index finger and thumb. He likes to switch hands, too. He'll pick one up with one hand, transfer it to the other, and then put it into his mouth. This is big news in this house.

    I took Jack and Java to my Mother's house today for a visit. We love our Saturday visits. He took two naps and had one and a half meals there. He played like crazy with everyone, showing off like mad. He must've done a hundred laps around the cocktail table in the living room. He cruises like a pro. I have a feeling he'll be walking sooner than I expect, but I'm in no hurry. I can wait for him to be THAT independent.

    He always has a lot of fun when we go to my Mom's house. He's not afraid of anything or anyone over there. He laughs and crinkles his nose; he pulls out all his tricks and shows off; he charms the hell out of everyone. He's definitely my son. He's always "on stage" when he's there. This boy can do no wrong.

    Right now, he's in the basement watching TV with Hubby and Blondie and I just heard him cry his head off. It sounds like he's fallen again. He's pretty good at falling, though. Obviously, I'm not running down there because I'm sure it's all under control. He falls a lot because he's getting more and more brave lately. He takes risks and sometimes falls when he lets go of the table while he's cruising. When he falls, he only cries for a few seconds, then it's back to work, so to speak. He doesn't let a fall stop him from trying again and again. That's my boy.

    Today was a busy day. I'm already in my jammies. Last night was a rough night. Jack was up a lot, feverish from his flu shot and just all around uncomfortable. I'm hoping he sleeps better tonight. My arm is fucking killing me from my flu shot, so I know his leg must be sore, too. Thank goodness for Baby Tylenol. I think I'll put it in an IV and hook him up to it later.

    I hope your weekend's going well, so far. I hear my son growling very loudly in the basement as I write this and I think he believes he's a dog. I better go see what's going on down there. The laughter and the growling are making me think that my husband and my niece are teaching the baby a new and wonderful trick. And Hubby and Blondie are arguing (nicely) about why he won't let her take the staples out of his head. She's telling him not to kick her, I think. Oh, dear...I better go.

    Friday, November 11, 2005

    I Heard The Baby's Heartbeat...

    Today, as you know, Baby Jack had his doctor visit and I had mine, too. Here's the lowdown on how it all turned out.

    Baby Jack's doctor visit confirmed what I've already known for a while; his doctor is incompetent. That's why I can't wait until the new pediatrician I've picked out for him opens his practice up to new patients at the first of the year. Jack's doctor just stresses me out about nothing and everything. She just doesn't get it. And it kills me that she has to read off a sheet to see if he's meeting milestones and such.

    Relax. I already have a new doctor in mind for him and already contacted his office. He can't take any new patients until the first of this coming year, when he gets another doctor in his office. It's only two months away, so I'm not stressing about it. Unfortunately, Jack has to see his incompetent-shit-for-brains doctor one more time next month for the next half of his flu shot and to measure his head again. Measure his head again, you ask? Let me tell you what made me want to kill her.

    Jack's info is fine. He's 17.11 pounds, up from 16 pounds at six months old, so he's gained almost two pounds. Although I remember the last time he was weighed, they more or less guesstimated. He's 27.5 inches long, up from 25.25 inches long at six months old, so he's two inches taller now. His head circumference is 45 cm, the same it was at six months old. I distinctly remember them measuring his head three times last time we were there with three different measuring tapes, each one coming up with a different figure. I thought it was extremely odd that his head had grown 4 fucking cm between age 4 months and age 6 months. I remember telling them that. The doctor didn't really pay any attention to it at the time. This time, however, she showed concern that his head hadn't grown.

    Have you seen my kid's head? He looks like Charlie Fucking Brown. He has a big, lovable blockhead. My guess is that they measured incorrectly the last time and his head is growing just fine, like the rest of his body. Now, they want to see him in another month to give him the other half of his flu shot and to measure his head again. So, I ask you, how much is his head actually going to grow in one month? She mentioned that if it didn't, she'd have to refer him to a pediatric neurologist.

    Kiss. My. Ass. Bitch. He'll go in for his flu shot; he'll get his head measured. And guess's the last time you'll ever touch my baby. Ever. You stupid rotten do-do headed crotchrot. You caused me unnecessary stress and I should sue you for mental duress. Dumb bitch. You always do this to me. Every. Single. Time.

    Not anymore, however. I will not see your neurologist. You will never see my boy again. You are only a family practitioner. You are not a pediatrician, which is why you are constantly consulting your books when you see my son. He is not odd. YOU are odd. You can't make critical decisions, so you must refer, refer, refer. Kiss my ass, Cunt. You can treat a cold for me, but you'll never treat my son again. Bitch.

    Switching gears completely...

    My doctor visit with my new OB/GYN was fabulous. I have the option to VBAC. Yea! He has estimated my due date to now be May 4, 2006. I had a great vag exam, as compared to the ones I've had in the past. Very low-key, very nonstressful visit. I told him I didn't want the unnecessary ultrasounds and nonstress tests that I'd been sent for the last time. He told me that he supported my need for a better experience this time around.

    I waited forever to get in. You know doctors; they don't keep their appointments. I did, however, have a great experience. I'll go next Saturday (11/19) for blood tests (AFP, thyroid, and an OB complete). He told me to call him on the 22nd to find out the results of my tests. And I have my next appointment on November 28th.

    I was reassured by him about all of my doubts. I told him I wanted to come see him directly because I wasn't interested in having my stupid doctor be the middleman. He told me that she wouldn't be able to support my decision to VBAC anyway; she wouldn't be able to do a C-section; she wouldn't be able to really do anything but take measurements and refer me to him. So, I was right about cutting her out of the picture altogether.

    And she didn't even notice that I'm pregnant today. Stupid bitch. She was more than happy to press on the staples in Hubby's head without any gloves on, too. Now do you see why it's imperative that I get rid of her? She's fine for treating colds, but she's not capable of doing anything else, especially anything that requires crucial decision-making skills.

    So, I only have to "play the game" with the shit-for-brains doctor one more time. After that, she's history. You don't know how much I wanted to hurt her feelings and tell her that I was pregnant and that I didn't trust her to handle me with this pregnancy. I really, really wanted to just say it, but I didn't.

    I figure, as long as I stay healthy, she won't have to know until it's all over, if I'm lucky. The only thing she did for me today, other than make me feel bad, was give me a flu shot. That's all she's good for anyway. And you know what, she didn't even give it to me. The nice nurse did. Dr. Dipshit just writes the order for it. The nurses always do all the work.

    So, my visit was great, but Jack's visit was one ball of stress. One out of two isn't bad for today, is it? And the title of this post? Yeah, I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time (about 150 bpm) and it'll be the lullaby I fall asleep to tonight. Today was an experience, to say the least.

    Thursday, November 10, 2005

    I'm So Happy I'm Off Tomorrow...

    Tomorrow is Veterans Day and there is no school. I'm very happy about that. It's the only excuse I had to not take a sick day this week. I'm just beat.

    Jack goes in for his ninth month checkup and shots at 10 a.m. I see my new OBGYN at 1:45 p.m. Hubby, hopefully, will get to rest his achy noggin once we get the doctor visits done. I saw the staples in his head when he got home last night and they look painful. I'm just grateful that he wasn't hurt any worse than he was. It looks pretty bad, but I know he'll be fine.

    Today was an easy day at work. The day after report card day usually is. The students are all pleasant and the rabble rousers are walking around with their tails between their legs. This doesn't last for very long, so I better enjoy it while it's here.

    I absolutely can't wait to go home today. I'm just dog-tired, really. Hopefully, I'll have a relaxing evening being lazy in front of the TV while Baby Jack naps. It would be nice. I think, for tomorrow's post, I'll write about how our doctor visits went. It'll be fresh in my mind and I'll be dying to tell you anyway.

    Have a great night! Some sage advice for you: Remember not to trust the dog to watch your food while you're out of the room!

    Wednesday, November 09, 2005

    From The Teacher's Desk...

    As some of you know from my last post, today was Report Card Pick-Up Day at my school. Here are some juicy details from my experiences, as a teacher, today (okay, maybe not juicy, but they're details, nonetheless):

    *Like always, I had one Mom that came in totally fucked up. She wasn't the kid's mother; she was her mother's lover. I'm pretty sure it was crystal meth, but it could've been crack, as well. And she definitely smelled like liquor, too. It's no surprise to you, I'm sure, that the student whose report card she was picking up had all F's in every single class. It's a shame, really.

    *Out of 29 kids in my homeroom, I had 27 show up to pick up the report cards. Not a bad turnout at all; 93% is considered an "A."

    *I can't tell you how many times I said, "Your child is very smart, but really needs to put more effort into doing his/her homework consistently." Sometimes the parents aren't even aware and are genuinely surprised when they find out their kid's been lying to them about having all of his/her homework done each night.

    *I saw a lot of former students and it was very nice to see them all. Finally, none of the ones I saw came in with their babies. (Note: I teach 8th grade English. I dread seeing freshmen with babies.)

    *I'm a firm believer in spending no more than five minutes with each parent, if I can help it. It's not because I don't care, but because we have to move them in and out like cattle in order to get to everyone and not keep them all waiting for unreasonable amounts of time. I don't tackle "personal" issues. I don't speculate on their gang involvement, drug usage (unless I'm absolutely positive about it and it's affecting their studies), or sexual activity. I can't really do anything about what goes on in their lives outside of the school. I can only control what goes on in my classroom. I don't keep anyone waiting for very long and I'm very direct about what I have to say to each parent. It's simple for me, really. Anything that has to take more than five minutes deserves a special conference itself. Our math teacher believes in spending ungodly amounts of time speaking to the parents about stuff she can't control. There were lines outside her door that were longer than the Great Wall of China. Parents were pissed by the time they got to see her and she had to deal with that. It's not my cup of tea.

    *Yes, there were whores pretending to be mothers. Yes, there were even some fathers that showed up concerned and rightly so. There were also students who were ballsy enough to show defiance in front of their parent(s). I don't think I saw any two-parent visits; most of the parents who showed up were either the mothers or the fathers. I don't count the crackhead lesbian lover.

    *I got home in time to eat a wonderful dinner that my Dad prepared. I washed my hands and put on my jammies the second I walked in. And I hugged my baby and remembered that he is the reason I work. I gotta give him whatever he needs in life so that he doesn't end up on the cover of Crackhead Magazine.

    *And then I found out Hubby got six staples in his head from an accident he had at work a few hours ago. He's fine, but he's going to have a killer headache tomorrow.

    It's good to be home and it's nice that my day wasn't so bad, after all. I'm home now, and that's all that really counts. Tomorrow is another day, and it happens to be Picture Day. I guess I should go floss. Hee, hee! I hope your day was good and that your tomorrow brings you a winning lottery ticket!

    Tuesday, November 08, 2005

    Reminders To Get Me Through Tomorrow...

    1. Wednesday, November 9th, is Report Card Pick-Up Day. You will meet a lot of useless parents. You must be nice to them. Fake it, if you have to.

    2. Smile and pretend you don't miss your baby at home.

    3. When you see the "idiot" parents, understand that they are the ones raising the shitheads you see each day. Apples don't fall far from their trees. Sometimes, it's not the kid's fault. No one is born into this world asking to be raised by whores or drug dealers. You may see some of your students in a different light after you meet the ones who spawned them.

    4. All the parents you see tomorrow will not be bad ones. Many of them, however, will be. Know how to distinguish between the two and be grateful for the ones that actually care about their kids.

    5. Count the minutes until you can go home. Watching the clock is far more productive than arguing with parents who blame you for all of their kid's problems. Spend no more than five minutes with each parent and you can watch the clock for the majority of the time.

    6. Breathe, especially when parents see your room number and realize that they have the wrong room.

    7. Dress like you care, but have your pajamas waiting for you when you get home.

    8. Contemplate calling in sick for the next day, but realize that it's just a dream. Thursday is Picture Day, so you must pretend to look pretty, even if you're exhausted.

    9. Drive home safely. The neighborhood around the school sucks and you don't want to get into an accident anywhere near there.

    10. Hug your baby as soon as you walk in the door. Realize that you don't ever want to be like the parents you've just seen. And don't ever forget what's most being Mama.

    If you think for even just one moment that some of your kid's teachers don't feel this way on Report Card Day, think again. Most of us are human; we're not all machines. Do you even know where I teach? I am not ashamed of the way I feel. I just want to get through it and go home to cuddle with my baby. It's not wrong; it's just how it's got to be. I love my job, but I have a life outside of it. If anything, my priorities are in the right order.

    Okay, I'm done.

    Monday, November 07, 2005

    THAT'S Worth Lots Of Brownie Points...

    Oh, yeah! Hubby earned major brownie points today. He cleaned the house. I mean...He. Really. Cleaned. The. House. I had left a small list of three things I needed him to get done while I was at work: run the dishwasher, sweep up all the dog hair from all the rooms on the main floor, and wash the kitchen floor and hallway. Well, let me tell you he did even more than that.

    Hubby not only vacuumed up all the dog hair, he also washed all the floors on the main floor and the second floor. He also took Baby Jack on an excursion to Target to get more cleaning supplies, as well as outfits for the little guy. They had quite a day together.

    I was, to say the least, pleasantly surprised and relieved that I didn't need to do any of it. The only thing I have to tackle is the bathroom on the main floor and I don't mind doing that at all. Bathroom cleaning is therapeutic for me. There's nothing like becoming one with your tub and toilet and knowing that, if you had to, you could eat off of them. I guess it's pride of ownership, I don't know. Maybe I'm just nuts.

    Anyway...I'm pleased to publicly announce that Hubby earned some major brownie points with his actions today. Of course, it doesn't take much to lose all of those points. Ha, ha! In our relationship, it's all about the brownie points. He earns them big, but loses them big, as well. It's important that he stockpiles those points because he never knows when he's going to need them to bail himself out of a jam with me. By "jam," I mean "stupid guy things."

    I know it makes sense to you. I just know you "get it." And I just want this on the record that Hubby earned a shitload of brownie points by cleaning our house. Plus, the vindictive side of me wants to make sure these actions are noted in case I need to refer to them in the future. That means, one day, I'll be saying, "It's been ______ days since you cleaned this house." I'm such a bitch.

    Thanks, Hubby. Life has become much easier for everyone in this house this week. Hee, hee!

    Sunday, November 06, 2005

    Yesterday Was An Uncle Day...

    My brother ("Uncle") and Jack bonded yesterday like never before. I get teary when I think about what a great time they had together. This is the stuff dreams are made of, really. Posted by Picasa

    I didn't get to post yesterday because the day was so busy. I took Jack to see my parents, my Gram, and my brother and the day turned out to be a fantastic one. Jack and I got there shortly before 10:30 a.m. and we didn't even wind up leaving until after 6:30 p.m. Jack took his morning and afternoon naps there, too. They weren't, by any means, long naps, but I can see why Jack wouldn't want to sleep. He didn't want to miss out on any precious moments like the one captured above.

    Every time I think about how great of a time Jack had with my brother, I get emotional. It could be the pregnancy hormones or it could just be pure joy at knowing that my son and my brother, two very influential people in my life, have made this connection that nothing and no one can sever. Jack's middle name is my brother's first name and I know now why I chose that. These guys mean the world to me and I am very fortunate to have them in my life.

    Uncle was feeding Jack fruit and veggie puffs and Jack just couldn't get enough of them! He couldn't get enough of his Uncle, either. They had a great day together! Posted by Picasa

    I remember something very funny my brother said shortly after I'd given birth to Baby Jack. Because it was a C-section, I wasn't able to hold Jack right away and we were separated for a while afterward. While I was in recovery, my brother cheered me up by telling me that "Jack has a BIG ass for a baby." It made me laugh so hard I thought my belly would pop open. He made me feel better because he knew how difficult it was for me to be separated from the little guy. Even today, it's a running joke amongst the family that Jack has the biggest ass we've ever seen, even though it really isn't that big. It's just funny to look back on how my brother took a difficult moment and helped me get through it with a little light humor. I'll never forget it.

    My brother took many, many pictures of Jack through the glass in the special care nursery after his delivery. He took one of the first photos I have of Jack. He even held him in the special care nursery, dressed in a hospital gown and scrubbed in, and fed him with his feeding tube. I think Jack was the first baby he ever held that was so new, only days old. My brother brought sleeping bags into the hospital so Hubby would be more comfortable while he slept on the floor in my room. My brother was even there when I was in labor. He saw what it was like. He even helped Hubby pack my car when it was time to go home. And he held me when I cried because I couldn't bring Baby Jack home with me. Jack was born on February 8th of this year, but he didn't come home until Valentine's Day. I, however, went home the day before and it was the worst 24 hours of my life. And when I came home, my brother was there, making sure everything was in order, taking care of the dogs, and helping Hubby get our stuff into the house and put away.

    I can't imagine my life without Baby Jack or my brother in it. There are no substitutes, nor will there ever be. And I know that if anything were to happen to my husband and me, there's no doubt in my mind that my brother would be there to take care of Jack and raise him the right way. I would have it no other way, really.

    So, I guess what I'm trying to say with this extra long post is that I'm grateful for the bond my baby and my brother share. My brother was worried that Jack would forget him because he hadn't seen him in a while, but he didn't have to worry at all. Jack knows who Uncle is and he pulled out all his tricks for him yesterday. He cruised around the table; he blinked on purpose (a new thing he's doing, his way of winking and "taking a picture" of you with his eyes); he coughed on command (yeah, we like that one); he ate what my brother was feeding him; he crawled over to the dog's water bowl and tried to swim; he did everything he knows how to do to charm the shit out of my brother. And it worked. They are pals and you can tell that from the pictures.

    I love them both so much.

    Friday, November 04, 2005

    My Second Post Today...

    An update to my earlier post...No, I chickened out and didn't leave early. I didn't sneak out at all, like I wanted. I stayed at work (like a dumbass), much to my dismay, but I did leave two minutes early. That counts, doesn't it?

    Gosh, it's been so long since I posted twice in one day, but this can't wait. Paul Davidson, a working writer and producer in L.A., has a particular blog entry every Friday called, "Words for Your Enjoyment." He takes ideas you submit and links to you on his entries. Well, yep, you guessed it...he used one of my ideas today. And I am mentioned in his blog a few times. What was my topic?

    “Explain the rationale behind buying that ridiculously expensive piece of fitness equipment and only using it as a coat rack…”

    Read his blog entry today to find out his answer. I was very amused, to say the least.

    Thanks a bunch, Pauly. I was wondering when you were finally going to use one of my ideas. I will forever be the Treasurer of your WFME Fan Club. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to hang up my coat on my health-club-quality-badass-expensive-as-all-hell Precor EFX5.21si Elliptical Trainer. I wish I were kidding.

    Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock...

    Today, we have no students. It's a "professional development day" and we're getting report cards done for parent-teacher conferences this coming Wednesday. Being the anal retentive freak that I am, my report cards are already done. I just have to turn them into the office. Really, it's been a "free" day for me; I get paid for it, but I'm really doing nothing all day long. You gotta love days like that.

    We had some meetings this morning and we have the afternoon to ourselves. I've been contemplating sneaking out early. Why should I stay here if all my shit is already done? I'll still get paid for a full day, anyway. I don't know what I'll do. I guess I could ask my boss to let me go home early. Odds are, though, that he'll say no. He frowns on early dismissals, so that's why I'm thinking about just sneaking out. No one will ever know.

    Right now, I'm just watching the clock and getting paid for it, but all I really want is to be at home with my baby. He needs me more than this place does today.

    I better make a decision about whether or not to sneak out soon, though, or it'll be time to leave anyway. Yeesh.

    Thursday, November 03, 2005

    I Still Love Home Depot...

    I found this strange news story today, but it's not going to change the fact that I'll still be spending money at Home Depot. The story, itself, is funny and true. To be honest, I've always wanted to do that to someone, but I've never had the guts. I feel bad for the guy, but I can't help but chuckle about it.

    Man Sues After Using Glue-Covered Toilet
    Wed Nov 2, 8:58 PM ET

    BOULDER, Colorado - A hardware retailer Home Depot has found itself in a sticky situation, defending a lawsuit filed by a man who claims the chain's Louisville store ignored his cries for help after he fell victim to a prank and was glued to a toilet seat.

    Bob Dougherty, 57, of Nederland, said he became stuck to a bathroom toilet seat on which somebody had smeared glue on Oct. 30, 2003, and felt "tremendous panic" when he realized he was stuck.

    "They left me there, going through all that stress," Dougherty told The (Boulder) Daily Camera. "They just let me rot."

    His lawsuit, filed Friday said Dougherty was recovering from heart bypass surgery at the time and thought he was having a heart attack. A store employee who heard him calling for help informed the head clerk via radio, but the head clerk "believed it to be a hoax," the lawsuit said.

    Home Depot spokeswoman Kathryn Gallagher said she could not comment on pending litigation.

    The lawsuit said after about 15 minutes, store officials called for an ambulance. Paramedics unbolted the toilet seat, and while wheeling a "frightened and humiliated" Dougherty out of the store, he passed out.

    The lawsuit said the toilet seat separated from his skin, leaving abrasions.

    "This is not Home Depot's fault," he said. "But I am blaming them for letting me hang in there and just ignoring me."

    Am I the only one laughing about this? What do YOU think?

    Wednesday, November 02, 2005

    Actual School Absence Excuse Notes...

    I found these in my travels on the Internet. I did NOT make them up, nor was I ever the proud recipient of one of these. It just proves how necessary it is to send your kids to school. We don't want some kids to end up idiots, like their parents. I'm an English teacher, so I am profoundly disturbed by these. The following excuse notes (in original forms, from all over the country) illustrate why kids should finish, or even go to, school:

    1. My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

    2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

    3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

    4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

    5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

    6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

    7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

    8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

    9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

    10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

    11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [words in ()’s were crossed out.]

    12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

    13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

    14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.

    15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don’t know what size she wear.

    16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

    17. Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

    18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

    19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

    20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

    21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

    22. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

    23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

    24. Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.

    Oh...I feel sick...

    Tuesday, November 01, 2005

    Pictures of Jack's First Halloween...

    Here he little guy, Jack...the pumpkin son! Posted by Picasa

    Jack looks kind of like a carrot here, but he was really a pumpkin. Posted by Picasa

    Java as Snow Brown... Posted by Picasa

    Linus, the possessed dragon... Posted by Picasa

    Java and Linus, waiting to attack trick-or-treaters... Posted by Picasa

    Java, after sampling some Halloween candy... Posted by Picasa

    Jack and lovable pumpkins! Posted by Picasa