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Taking one day at a time...

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  • Thursday, February 23, 2006


    I feel big. I know I'm big...bigger than I was with Jack a year ago, but I've gained much less weight this time around. I don't know if that even makes any sense. With Jack, I gained 47 pounds total; with this baby, I've only gained about 15, so far, and I'm halfway through my seventh month already. I feel like I'm moving much slower now. I have ten more weeks to go, but it feels like the last month right now. I'm pooped.

    I've gotten my shit together for my maternity leave, as far as work is concerned. I didn't do lesson plans for it like last year, but I did leave an outline of what needs to be covered. I also put together handouts that the kids will get with each lesson. That's as far as I'll go this time. It's just too much to do, plus I don't have to do it at all. I choose to do it. Legally, I can just go on leave and let my replacement figure it all out, but I'm just not like that. I sometimes wish I were lazier when it comes to work.

    All I have to do is fill out and send in my paperwork for my maternity leave. Then, the rest will come naturally. I'm hoping to finish out April, but I don't know how that will all play out. It all depends on how soon this baby wants to make its appearance. My due date is May 4th. Finishing out April is cutting it close for me, but I can use the paychecks since I won't be getting any while I'm gone. Spring Break is the second week of April. The following week is light because of Report Card Day. If I can get through that third week, I'll be happy. The last week of April is just gravy, as far as I'm concerned. I'd rather just complete the Report Card Day and stay home after that. Let fourth quarter be someone else's problem. I'll need all the rest I can get because I won't be getting any once Baby #2 comes!

    I'm pooped, like I said. I feel big. And I still have ten more weeks to go, at that. Yeesh. I guess I should post another belly pic soon. No stretch marks...yet. I'm still waiting...I just know this one's going to be different.

    I've got a million thoughts running through my head. Will I deliver without the need for an emergency C-section? Will the baby latch right away when I breastfeed? Will I get to hold the baby right away, unlike last time? Will I labor for 48 hours like last time? Will I get the dreaded episiotomy or hemorrhoids? Can I do this? How will I handle two babies, fifteen months apart? What will I do when my husband finally has to go back to work and I have to be alone with two infants? Will I go crazy? Will I get PPD? How will I be able to handle two dogs and two babies? When will I get to have a beer finally?

    You name it. It's running through my head. Yeah, I guess we could've waited on Baby #2, but neither one of us is getting any younger and I'd like three children. I want to be able to enjoy them while I'm still somewhat young. I like the idea of my kids being so close in age. The next one (hopefully) will have to come a few years down the road. I don't really want to be pregnant again next year. In fact, I've calculated that I've spent parts of 2004, 2005, and 2006 in the gestational state. I think I can wait a little while before I do this again. Knowing my luck, I'll get buff again and wind up pregnant shortly thereafter. It's kismet.

    Breathe. I know... Breathe. If only I could remember HOW to... You know, you never remember anything from those childbirth classes, anyway. And every time you have a child, you lose part of your brain. When I had Jack last year, I think I lost the part of my brain that told me how to breathe.



    • At 9:48 AM, February 23, 2006, Blogger ccw said…

      I know what you mean. I have gained more weight with this pregnancy, but started out smaller so I am not actually bigger. I feel huge.

      At my very first appt, the OB told me that the last few months of this pregnancy would be more uncomfortable than with the previous two and she was right. At 28 weeks, I feel like I did around 38 weeks with Baby H. I wonder, almost daily, how I can cope with 80 more days of growing.

      You'll cope, just fine. After the initial exhaustion things will settle back into a routine.

      I'm anxiously awaiting next summer so that I can once again wear a bikini and drink beer.

    • At 2:07 PM, February 23, 2006, Blogger boneman said…

      OK don't get yer hopes up, but, through a blog to another blog to another blog I found this gal who in the comments wrote something to the effect that there was a chance that a specific person (her daughter, actually) had blocked her from going into the blog at all.

      That said, it's one of those blogs with a comment-stopper-until-it's-read disclaimer on it. So, being at a library right now, and they be closing soon, I'm pretty sure that she won't get the answer back to me as soon as you (yeah, I dunno) would like it.
      But, that clown's comments on the other site were rude enough that I can only imagine ya wouldn't like it.
      So, here's two things for ya (jiminy. I do go on and on)
      One, go to Zeppellina's blog and find lee. Then go to lees's blog and choose sex (I know that sounds odd, but, trust me. He sounds like a good guy ) go down to the stained glass window (which is very pretty, I must say) and go to comments. Scroll down, you'll see several comments on the window, then you'll see mine and then, further down you'll see someone whop agreed with my comment on the picture (and Lord help me, I forgot her name, but she sounds also very nice, ) and go to her site.
      After you've read the third comment, you'll see her comment on (maybe or maybe not) her daughter blocking her from entering the site.

      OK, or, and this is the short way, but you'll not see the other nice folks and their sites (lee has a really neat place and many choices of which I have yet to explore, but, whatever)
      The short way ( and it's about time, eh?) would be to go to blogger help and see if you can do exactly that, stop someone from even coming to your blog at all.

      But, not me....I got such a kick out of the Andy Rooney thing that I keep coming back. Well, that and your phenomenal picture in the Madman thing...that smile!

      (well, OK, me too, I guess.....if'n ya want. Cause that's the whole thing, ain't it? )

    • At 2:19 PM, February 23, 2006, Blogger beans said…

      um... wha'?

      anyway - gaining/carrying differently, are you?
      what does that tell you?

      keep it up with the stretch marks comments.. you just keep it up.


    • At 5:11 PM, February 23, 2006, Blogger Erin said…

      Isn't it amazing how differently out bodies react to each pregnancy? I was huge with The Princess, gained over 50 pounds, and I was miserable. I was 'hugER' with Dough Boy, gained almost EIGHTY pounds, but I could run up til the day I gave birth.

      You'll do fine. What you are feeling and thinking is absolutely normal. You are a wonderful mother. Sure, there will be tough times, but you are so strong, so incredible, you can handle whatever is thrown at you!!

    • At 5:27 PM, February 23, 2006, Blogger Blog This! said…

      THere is no perfect timing for having a second child. Its just so much harder on your body, mind, soul, than your first ever was. Mine will be a little over 2 years apart and I feel the same way you do - exhausted and done with pregnancy - and I still have time left too! Hang in there. Enjoy the last 10 weeks with just your son.

    • At 6:23 PM, February 23, 2006, Blogger boneman said…

      And, I was wrong, I think....I looked it up on blogspot help and they said ya can't stop incoming from unwanted bloggers. Sorry.
      Thought I'de try to help.

    • At 6:49 PM, February 23, 2006, Blogger cmhl said…

      eeeeeeeee! it is getting close, huh??

      it will be ok..

    • At 7:27 PM, February 23, 2006, Anonymous your sister who has been there said…

      You can't think about how you'll do it. You just will. And it'll be okay. Jack will be okay, the new baby will be okay, maybe you and John will even be okay. And your two kids will always have each other. That's good.

    • At 10:28 PM, February 23, 2006, Blogger As always... Rachael said…

      All my preganancies were different and all my kids are different. But the worries that accompanied each remained pretty constant. I think worrying and wondering is like mental nesting. It's all just part of the preparation.

    • At 10:31 PM, February 23, 2006, Blogger Melissa said…

      Ok, first of all, I could barley get past the "I've only gained about 15 so far," comment!!! And you ONLY HAVE 10 WEEKS TO GO????? My God woman, am I jealous. I have 4 weeks and 5 days to go and I am not only twice the size I was with Lucas, but I have also gained twice the weight.....

      And as far as all of the other stuff going through your mind, it's all perfectly normal and it will all soon pass. Hang in there.

    • At 9:17 AM, February 24, 2006, Blogger cubmommy said…

      I can't believe your due date is almost here. Time really flies.

      Don't worry you are going to do great!

      You all ready know what to expect even the worst of it. My second labor and delivery was ten times beter then the first. Delivering Little Cubby was the easiest thing I have ever done.

      You are going to be awesome!


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