Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Strawberries & Sunblock...
Clothes by Ralph Lauren; sunblock by Baby Blanket...
Baby Liv and her Papa...carbon copies...A ride in the convertible... and last, but not least, Java (a.k.a. The Beans), in all her sweaty glory.
I hope your Memorial Day was a good one, too!
Monday, May 29, 2006
She Can Do It!...
Is it even possible for her to be able to do that at this age? (It could be just a fluke; I don't know.) Well, she did it and Hubby saw it, too. I'm not imagining things. My niece, Blondie, thought she was motioning to do it yesterday, but I told her she was crazy. Babies don't do that this soon.
Baby Liv proved me wrong. (I have a feeling she'll be doing that a lot over the next several decades. Heh...)
Sunday, May 28, 2006
CHOCOLATE ECLAIR CAKE
2 pkg. (3 oz.) French vanilla pudding
4 c. milk
1 pkg. honey grahams
1 (9 oz.) Cool Whip
2 pkg. Nestle's Choco Bake
3 tsp. 1 tsp. corn syrup
3 tbsp. soft butter
3 tbsp. warm milk
1 1/2 c. powdered sugar
Grease 9 x 13 inch pan with butter. Mix pudding and milk 2-3 minutes. Fold in Cool Whip. Layer whole crackers, pudding, crackers, pudding, crackers. By hand beat all topping mixture. Spread over top. Chill for 2 hours.
You must try it. The icing will blow you away. It's so easy to make and it's positively divine!
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Up & Down...
It's a lot of fun watching him accomplish such feats. And I feel like I experience them for myself all over again, only it's through his eyes. That's joy to me.
In other news, today Baby Liv tried out her swing for about five minutes, but nothing beats her Mama's arms. She must really dig me!
Friday, May 26, 2006
On My Way To Being Okay...
I also told him all about my anxiety and depression. He's prescribed an old favorite for me...Zoloft. From what I've read, it's safer than most of the other antidepressants if you're breastfeeding. There's still possible side efffects, as with any drug, but I've had it before. I know it'll work. A little help goes a long way, I hope.
Other news...Baby Liv drank her first bottle of breastmilk this morning. I'd started thawing it, just in case my doctor appointment went longer than I'd planned. It didn't and I was home in time to feed her, but I couldn't bear to throw out the thawed breastmilk (it being liquid gold and all). So, I had Hubby give her her very first bottle of Mama Milk. She sucked down almost four ounces in just minutes! And then she nursed from both boobs! I told you she's an eating machine.
Now she's in my arms, sleeping off her "high" while I type this one-handed. Jack is napping in his crib. Hubby just left to run some errands during naptime (he actually survived the onslaught of the two offspring while I was gone!). Java is sleeping at the back door, in the sun. And then there's me...
I feel a bit of relief at the moment. I'm on my way to being okay. I will smile and mean it someday soon. That is one goal...for now.
Another goal, somewhat unrelated,...how the hell do I get my toddler to stop throwing every piece of food you give him on the floor and all over the wall at mealtimes, saying "Uh-oh!" every single time prior to each morsel's flight (as a signal that he's aware he's about to do something he knows I won't like)? Yeesh.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Something I'm Good At...
I've had these nagging, aching feelings for several weeks now. I've been down this road before, long before I was ever a Mother. And I know what it is. I'm depressed.
Hello, Postpartum Depression. It's nice to meet you. We didn't get the chance to be acquainted with one another after I had Jack, so I guess you've decided to be my unwelcomed guest after Liv. Who the hell invited you?
I don't just think I am; I know I am. And I've been pretty good at hiding it, except from Hubby. I guess I thought my feelings would just go away, but they haven't. Behind my smile is an overwhelmed thirty-something woman filled with anxiety and fear about...well, everything. I can't explain it; that's how I know I'm depressed. Crying has become a recycled old hobby these days, a favorite activity in the shower after I shampoo. No one can see me there.
I asked Hubby this morning if he thought I was depressed. He said yes, but not to the point where I'd harm myself or anyone else. He's been down Depression Lane with me before and he knows how I get. If anyone could confirm my own suspicions about it, it would be Hubby. Depression isn't something that's foreign to me. I've battled it for decades, in & out of therapy, on & off of meds, at various times in my life, for a variety reasons. It's been several years since my last bout, which was successfully treated with meds and therapy for a few years. I haven't been depressed for several years now and I thought I'd never have to deal with it again. Wrong...
The ironic thing about all my previous bouts with depression is that I always, always knew that's what it was and I knew when I needed help and actively sought it. I prayed (something I never do) I wouldn't have to deal with it after having either one of my babies. I got lucky when I had Jack. This time, I need help. When they took out my placenta, they also took out my ability to feel...I mean really feel.
It's got everything to do with how I feel inside. I'm lost on the inside. It's nothing anyone can fix but me. I have all the support and love from everyone around me, but it isn't going to cure the underlying problem. It only alleviates it temporarily so that I can resume breathing. I've been trying to feel "better" by taking time to put on make-up, hoping that feeling "pretty" on the outside would cure the "ugly" environment on the inside. I went out the other day...sans the kids...all by myself...first time since Liv was born...alone (gasp!)...and I went to my favorite places (the bookstore and the beauty store). All I did was spend money; it didn't make my head less cloudy. I blog daily because I enjoy it, but I never quite open up. Lately, I've been posting lots of pictures, but you can't see who's behind the camera. And you can't "feel" her uncertainty. It's all hidden...part of the game, I guess. I've even taken many, many long walks because the weather has been so lovely here. Still, the storm in my head still hovers.
I've turned down visits from a half dozen friends because "I need things to settle down." It's my excuse, but what I really truly want is to see them. I just don't want to break down in front of them, which is likely to happen. That's why I fend off the visits.
Depression is not my friend. I don't want to feel like this inside anymore. I can only hide it for so long before it starts to seep out. Hubby's already caught on and I'm kind of glad he's noticed. At least, I don't feel like I'm going insane. This. Is. Real. The anxiety, the overwhelming feelings, the guilt about it all, the fear...and so much more...It's all coming together now; I know what I need to do to feel better and it isn't anything that involves the superficial.
I'm looking forward to my OB/GYN appointment Friday morning. I need to tell him what's going on. I want to smile genuinely again, not just for a fleeting moment.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Adventures With Baby Jack...
Monday, May 22, 2006
Life In Pictures...
Sunday, May 21, 2006
The Trucker & 3 Bikers...
As he was about to eat, three motorcycles pulled up outside. The bikers came in, and one grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down the apple pie.
The Truck driver didn't say a word. He simply got up, paid the cashier, and left.
When he was gone, one of the motorcyclists said, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"
"He's not much of a driver, either," the cashier replied, "He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Pass The Butter...
DO YOU KNOW...the difference between margarine and butter?
*Both have the same amount of calories.
*Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to 5 grams.
*Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.
*Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods.
*Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few only because they are added!
*Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavors of other foods.
*Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years.
And now, for margarine..
*Very high in trans fatty acids.
*Triple risk of coronary heart disease.
*Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol)
*Increases the risk of cancers up to five fold.
*Lowers quality of breast milk.
*Decreases immune response.
*Decreases insulin response.
And here's the most disturbing fact.... HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING!
*Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC.
This fact alone was enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance).
You can try this yourself:
Purchase a tub of margarine and leave it in your garage or shaded area. Within a
couple of days you will note a couple of things:
* no flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you something)
* it does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value; nothing will grow on it. Even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not a find a home to grow. Why? The reason is because it is nearly plastic.
Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?
Friday, May 19, 2006
It's also a good thing that I got a call from a survey company the hospital hired to assess the quality of care we received in the ER. I don't think I need to go into any details about what I said to them. You can pretty much figure out what I said. The survey company asked me if someone from the hospital could call me regarding my comments about their service. My reply (in classic Eatmisery fashion) was, "Hell, yeah! I invite them to do just that!"
I'm really looking forward to that call. Heh...
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Why, Why, Why?...
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee for "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
Have a great day!
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Recent Pictures Of My Kids...
My babies...they are perfect.
*Sniff, sniff, sigh*
Monday, May 15, 2006
Mother's Day Bling Bling...
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Happy Mother's Day!...
Thank you, Mom, from the bottom of my heart, the depths of my soul, the core of my very being, for being who you are to me. I love you more than these words will ever convey.
Happy Mother's Day!
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Friday, May 12, 2006
Long Live Buddha...
I still think of you every single day, my dear friend. I am grateful that every memory is a wonderful one. Peace.
SIDENOTE: If I write anymore about this, I'll be a basket case. I have so much to say, but I'll keep it in my heart for now. If you've ever loved and lost a pet, you understand me.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Baby Jack's Trip To The ER Last Night...
Baby Jack was given an IV with fluids, a catheter to get urine to test, and some blood tests. I was anything but happy about the way he was handled. You should see the hack job they did on his arm with the IV. And without wearing gloves, at that! My Niece made sure she strongly pointed that fact out to the nurse who administered the IV; she wanted to make sure she knew we knew she should've been wearing gloves.
This morning, I called his pediatrician to follow up. We have to take him there this afternoon. I'll do anything for my little boy. That fever sure did a number on him, physically and psychologically. He's going to need lots of cuddling today. And Motrin. And Tylenol. And ice cream, for his throat, which I'm sure is raw from all the screaming he did at home and in the ER.
We were given the choice to have him admitted or take him home. We chose the latter because his tests all came back okay and his pediatrician left the decision up to us. Baby Jack also smiled at us. The poor guy has had a very, very rough past few days. Keep your fingers crossed that he eats and drinks well today. None of us want to go through this again. It will give us all nightmares for a very long time, except Baby Jack will eventually forget all of this. I, unfortunately, will not.
I believe Hell is a mental place you go to when your baby is sick.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Same As Yesterday...
He never woke up last night and he's already napping right now. Plus, he was sweating this morning. I hope these are good signs. If he's not better later, off to the tub he goes again. At this point, I should be buying stock in Tylenol. We're certainly helping to keep them in business. Keep your fingers crossed.
It's going to be another long day in the Eatmisery house. I just want my little boy to get better soon. He's just not his spunky self right now. And fevers scare me, frankly.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
I hate seeing him feel so awful, but I guess it beats measles, mumps, or rubella. I just wish he hadn't had any reaction from the shot at all. It breaks my heart to see him so miserable. Yeesh.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Today's Doctor Visits...
LIV: at one month old (my little preemie, today being just a few days after her gestational due date), she weighs 8 pounds, 2 ounces now (gaining about two and a half pounds in the last two and a half weeks, which means my booby juice is liquid gold!); her height is 20 inches; and her head circumference is 14 inches.
I say "Hooray!" for healthy children. They did well for their vaccines and the ride home was better than I originally expected. Let's hope the aftermath of said vaccines goes just as well. The day is still young, but a girl can dream...Heh...
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Tomorrow Can't Be Over Fast Enough...
I'm anxious to see how big my critters have gotten, really. I'll post about it all tomorrow...if Hubby and I survive it all. Heh...
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Spending Money Wisely...
And that's just fine with me! Heh...
Friday, May 05, 2006
Gentle Thoughts For Today...
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice:
The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are "XL."
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
Did you ever notice:
When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Today Is My Due Date...
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
When I told Hubby I thought Baby Liv might be having a growth spurt (since she was attached to my tit all day long and sleeping like a dog), his response was, "Why can't she do her growing at night?" (Then, of course, we'd all sleep as well as Baby Jack.)
I'm still searching for that answer. Heh...
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Scarred For Life...
THEY TOOK IT FROM A VEIN IN HIS ARM!!! For the life of me, I can't understand why they would put a 14-MONTH-OLD BABY through that!
I thought they would take it from his heel, but they didn't. Hubby even questioned their method. There were two phlebotomists there who did it and their reply was, "Oh, he has a good vein."
They're lucky I wasn't there. That's all I have to say about it. I don't care how skilled you are in phlebotomy; you better know what you're doing when you handle MY kid, or you'll be dealing with ME. I am his advocate, after all.
I think the whole experience has scarred me more than it did Baby Jack. He's napping comfortably right now. However, this is just what the poor kid needed, especially after splitting his top lip open and biting his tongue last night after falling on the living room floor and bleeding everywhere. Hence, his dinner consisted of nothing but chocolate ice cream, and one-third of a pint, at that.
Hopefully, his nap will make him forget yesterday evening and this morning. I know it'll take a lot more for me to forget.
I tell ya, you just can't leave me home alone with two kids. Heh... Sandwiched between two crying babies, I think I did pretty well, all things considered. I was able to console both of them, which was one of my worst fears; that one would suffer while I took care of the other. However, it worked out just fine and I guess I am stronger than I think.
I know Baby Jack will have a lot more falls in his lifetime and I'll see a lot more of his blood in the future. It's just that the first real bloody mess is scarier than all the others. After all, he is my baby and always will be.
I need a nap. Yeesh.
Monday, May 01, 2006
A Gift From The Gods...
Why didn't I make this stuff sooner? If I'd known it would make him so happy...well, coulda shoulda woulda.
I wonder how much calcium is in Jell-O, since Baby Jack's hit or miss with drinking milk these days...