Saturday, July 29, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
Baby Liv fell asleep in her baby swing yesterday. I'm shocked. I'm dumbfounded. I'm a little nervous, to be honest.
You see, every so often, I've been trying to get her to actually like her swing. She would have no part of it at all until this week. For whatever reason, she decided to fall asleep in it yesterday morning and I can't help but think there's a catch. I'm afraid she just might hook, line, and sinker me into thinking she can nap in it and then pull the rug out from under me by hating the swing two weeks from now. I don't want to jinx it, but I think she likes the baby swing.
Since I've still got all the packing to do for our trip, she's given me this lovely slice of time to get last-minute stuff done. I don't know whether to shit or go blind!
Keep your fingers crossed on this one... Maybe I really should bring the swing with on our vacation. Hmmm...
UPDATE: On another note, Baby Liv rolled over this morning, several times. Hip, hip, hooray! I'm gushing, I'm so proud!
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Dipey or Diapey?...
There are so many variations of it, if you think about it. My Dad spells it "diappi." I suppose it could also be spelled "diapie, diappie, diapy, diapee, diapi, dipi, dypy, dyepi, dyepie, etc." The list of possibilities is endless. (Yeah, I've put waaaayyyy too much thought into this.)
How would YOU spell it?
(SIDENOTE: Yeah, this is a really silly post, but it's really making me think. Being the English teacher that I am, Hubby is probably grammatically correct on this, but "diapey" just looks funny to me. Plus, it's a loving term. It's like arguing about "Snookey" and "Snookie," really. I realize that "dipey" could make people read it as a short "i" sound, but it could also be a long "i" sound, if you think about it. Most people would understand the connection between "diapey" and a diaper, and probably not get the connection between "dipey" and a diaper. The "diap-" part gives it away. I think it all boils down to preference. And I don't think any one particular spelling is wrong. Like "theater" and "theatre", it all means the same thing. It is what it is, I guess.)
Of course, once this is settled, we'll have another grammar quarrel about...yep, you guessed it...how to spell Liv's lovey name. Will it be Livvy, Livie, Livi, Livy, Livee, and so on and so forth...
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
It'll sure be different with two babies and a dog, plus my Dad. I think we'll have a great time, though. We leave this coming Saturday morning and we'll be back the following Friday. I hope to post a bunch of pictures when I get back. It's always so relaxing when we go. The only part I dread is checking the kids' diapers for ticks. Yuck! Ticks seem to like the backs of my ears and my boobs. It gives me nightmares, really. Hopefully, it'll stay hot as hell up there so that we don't get invaded by ticks. And yes...the dog has already gotten her Frontline.
I probably won't have time to go online when I'm there and since we're in the middle of nowhere, I'm not sure how we'll get online unless we go to an internet cafe in town. So, I'll catch up on all of you when I get back.
Right now, I'm making my infamous lists to make sure I don't forget anything. You know how I am about that. Heh...
What's one thing you've ever forgotten to pack for a trip? I'm curious.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Happy Birthday, Mom!...
...when she answered my screams from the backyard after the dog bit me on my face when I was a little kid
...when she organized and played piano and sang in all the church shows
...when she worked with all the mentally retarded kids at the church
...when she'd come to my rescue after bumps and bruises and scrapes from falling off my bicycle
...when she let me drive her car, her in the passenger seat, assuring me that I'd know when the right time was to move out on my own
...when she'd nursed my broken hearts
...when she'd take me downtown with her to drop off her legal transcriptions
...when she let me help her with her filing at work when I was barely a teenager
...when she'd brush my hair after I took a bath
...when she'd let me play in the tub until I looked pruny and old
...when she'd check on me at naptime to see if I was asleep, knowing full well that I was pretending to be asleep
...when she bought me my first set of dishes a decade before I had a place of my own, holding onto them until I could make use of them
...when she beamed with pride at my college graduation
...when she threw a graduation party for me the day after all her wisdom teeth were pulled
...when I told her I was pregnant and her face lit up the room
...when she caught me smoking in my room and didn't kill me
...when she understood me when no one else did
...when she came to my high school after I was suspended for writing a nasty letter to another girl
...when she answered the phone when I called her from Hawaii to let her know that I'd eloped (she knew beforehand, but she was the first person I called)
...when she raced to the hospital while I was in labor with my son after I told her I needed her there, leading to...
...when she held my hand and told me that it was necessary for me to have a C-section (the first time) and that I had to do it for Jack, even though I didn't want it
...when she raced over to my house after I told her I thought I was in labor with Liv, what turned out to be a tearing of my placenta, leading to...
...when she went into the special care nursery with Liv after she was born prematurely and stood next to my Hubby, making sure she was there for all of us
...when she held me after I put my dog to sleep, knowing how devastated I was
...when she let me move back home after I couldn't afford to live on my own anymore
...when she sent over dinner for my finicky son...wait...she does that all the time
...when she helped me and my sister move my niece into her dorm at KU
...when she knew me better than I knew myself
...and so, so much more.
My Mom is everything to me. She and I have a great relationship and I'm very grateful she's such a big part of my life. I don't know what I'd do without her. Many women out there don't ever want to be like their mothers, but not me. I wouldn't mind being like her at all.
I love you, Mom! Happy Birthday! I hope you have many, many more happy ones to come!
Monday, July 24, 2006
One Multiple Choice Question...
She's been on her knees more times than Billy Graham.
She's been laid on more kitchen floors than linoleum.
She's done more screwing than Black and Decker.
She's responsible for more merry men than Robin Hood.
She's turned more tricks than Houdini has.
She's been in more motel rooms than the Bible.
She's been boarded more times than Amtrak.
She's been mounted more often than Trigger.
She's been involved with more animals than Marlin Perkins has.
She's entertained more troops than Bob Hope.
She's been at more bedsides than Dr. Kildare has.
She's been turned more ways than Rubik's Cube.
She's spent more time under men than barstools.
She's seen more traffic than the George Washington Bridge.
She's had more turnovers than the International House of Pancakes.
She's been under more sheets than the Ku Klux Klan.
She's had more marines land on her bed than on Iwo Jima.
Hoover classifies her tongue as a vacuum cleaner.
Her body has been declared a national recreation area.
Her diaphragms come with a service contract.
Her underwear is by Rubbermaid.
Her pantyhose has a pet door.
Who does this describe?
a) Paris Hilton
b) Tara Reid
c) Lindsay Lohan
d) All of the above
Think carefully before you answer. Heh...
Sunday, July 23, 2006
A MeMe For YouYou...
1. The book nearest me: The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding
2. Stretch your left arm, what do you touch? Clutter on my desk
3. Last thing watched on television? Iron Chef America
4. Without looking, what time is it? 10:15 pm
5. What time is it actually? 10:22 pm
6. With the exception of the computer what can you hear? The dog is snoring.
7. When did you last step outside? Ten minutes ago
8. Before this survey, what did you look at? My email
9. What are you wearing? My nightgown
10. What did you dream last night? That some white trash carnies were trying to kidnap my son and they gave him a dirty toy and put a pill in his mouth to make him pass out...I'm not kidding, either. I have strange dreams.
11. When did you last laugh? Outside, ten minutes ago
12. What is on the walls of the room? A Picasso and a Lautrec (reprints, of course)
13. Seen anything weird lately? A spider the size of my fist
14. What do you think of this quiz? It's okay
15. What is the last film you saw? Saw 2, at home, on satellite
16. Tell us something we don't know. I have a pink birthmark on one of my toes
17. If you could change one thing about the world what would you do? I'd make money not matter as much as it does.
18. Do you like to dance? Yes
19. George Bush? Uh...no
20. Imagine your first child is a girl. Since my daughter is my second born, but she's only 14 months younger than my son, I feel like they're both the same age, really.
21. Imagine your first child is a boy. Duh...he is.
22. Would you consider living abroad? Maybe when I retire
23. What would God say to you when you reach the pearly gates? Get the fuck out! Heh...
24. List 6 bloggers to carry on this meme. I won't tag anyone, but if you decide to do it, let me know so I can see your answers.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Baby Jack's Sleep Issues...
I usually put The Boy down for his nap at noon and he sleeps until 3pm. Lately, however, it takes him an hour of freaking out before he finally falls asleep. A two-hour nap is fine for him, but not if he flips out for an hour prior to it. He's used to a three-hour nap, but I think he's changing his routine now. He goes to bed at 8pm, but it also takes him almost an hour to finally succumb to Mr. Sandman. It's driving me bananas and is especially hard if I'm also trying to get The Girl to fall asleep, as well.
I can only assume he's going to accomplish another developmental milestone, such as speaking. Yeah, he says a few words here and there and some are only understandable because we know him well and we know what he means. When he was a little baby, he would have changes in sleep and eating habits right before he accomplished something new, like crawling or walking, etc. I can only attribute this latest routine change to something new he's about to do.
And you can bet your last dollar that as soon as he's back to "normal" (whatever that was), SHE'S going to go through much of the same.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Jellybeans Are Hazardous To Your Health...
My Sister and her family have been enjoying a lovely vacation at Hilton Head Island this past week. I hope it's been a wonderful time for them because they love to go there and it's been a while since they've been able to go. It was my nephew Bubba's first time there, too.
Yesterday, I asked my Dad if anyone had heard from her. He said that he'd talked to her yesterday and they were having a great time. He also told me something interesting that had happened during her trip, which I didn't really think could happen.
Dad said, "Bro got stung by a jellybean."
I replied, "Don't you mean a jellyfish, Dad?"
He retorted, "Ahhh...same thing."
I asked, "Who peed on him to take the sting out?"
"I don't know," said Dad.
"So...he got stung by a jellybean, huh?" said I.
"Yeah," he replied with a wink.
Okay. I guess it's possible to be stung by jellybeans now. Who am I to question my own father? Heh...
Thursday, July 20, 2006
He Really Does Listen To Me...
I've been wanting to get one, or something like it, for a long time. Last week, I sent him a list of links to things that I want for my kitchen, not really thinking he'd pay any attention to it. While this isn't one of the things I listed, it happens to be better than what I listed. So, I guess this is Reason #796 of why I married the greatest guy on the planet and why I'm the luckiest woman in the world.
Now all he has to do is get the other three things on that list and I'll agree to toss out all the old plastic food containers. I swear I will. Heh...
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Thank You, Sally...
I bought it in the Crystal Opal color and it's so pretty. It even dries quickly! After more than two decades of nail painting and hundreds of polishes tried, this is the only one I'll ever keep buying. O*P*I doesn't even compare! With all the wear and tear my hands go through on a daily basis with two babies and tons of handwashing all day long, I would've thought this product couldn't take such a fierce beating. Boy, am I amazed!
See for yourself...
Of course, now that I've posted this, I've also cut my nails. I was afraid I'd poke Baby Liv's eyes out while putting in her eye medicine! They'll grow back, anyway. I just wanted to remember how damn great they looked. Heh...
Seriously, run out and buy this stuff. You won't be disappointed!
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
I Think They're Up To Something...
Baby Liv and Baby Jack made direct eye contact with each other in the backseat. He smiled at her and she proceeded to giggle uncontrollably. It was a full-fledged, belly-jiggling, hearty laugh. And then he started laughing, too! Normally, he doesn't want anything to do with her, so this intrigued us.
Hubby asked, "What are they laughing about?"
I replied, "I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with us."
Yeah...I think there's something going on. I think they're concocting a plan and it has everything to do with Hubby and me. Uh-oh...I better not let my guard down. Heh...
Monday, July 17, 2006
*Baby Liv has plugged tear ducts, so we have to massage her eyes and use antibiotic ointment to clear it up. Baby Jack had the same problem when he was her age. I called the doctor this morning and he said not to worry unless it didn't seem to get any better with the massaging and the ointment.
*My niece Blondie and her boyfriend are totally smitten with each other. Have I mentioned how much we really like this guy. I hate to jinx it, but I think he's "The One." You can tell just by looking at them when they're together. They're such a great couple. And he treats her so, so, so well, just like she should be.
*Baby Liv has got to be the happiest baby I've ever seen, even when she's pissy. She smiles constantly. Baby Jack was such a serious baby, really. He was extremely physical, moving all the time. It's not that he never smiled; he just didn't do it as much as she does now. He was more concerned with bouncing and jumping on your lap and learning how to use his body to move around. She looks right into your eyes and smiles so big that you want to burst. She hams it up. She also coos and gurgles and is so responsive when we talk to her. I'm amazed at her every single day. I'm also astounded by how different the two of them are, apples and oranges, really...in a good way.
*My hair has changed and not just because I cut it. I think it's hormonal, but I'm not sure. My hair used to be bone straight (the "after" picture on my post from the other day was after it had been straightened and styled). It is now wavy when I let it air dry, with what appears to be natural curl. Who woulda thunk it? The back is very, very wavy now, with curls! The curls aren't everywhere, though. It's strange. Parts are wavy and curly while other places are still straight. I don't get it. And my gray hair is wavy and curly, not the least bit straight! So, either I'm going to get gray all over really soon or I can blame the "body" in my hair on my hormones. You tell me why this is happening because I don't understand it at all.
*It's hot as hell here in Chicago and I'm grateful for central air conditioning. Going outside is downright unbearable.
*And, yeah, I don't really feel like weaning Baby Liv onto formula before I go back to work. Why not? I'd rather (I can't believe I'm saying this) pump at work and make sure she gets nothing but booby juice. Plus, I don't want to ever get a period again, so I may just breastfeed her until my experiences with menopause are over...and that means she'll be attached to my tit until she's old enough to buy booze. Heh...
Sunday, July 16, 2006
I miss those naptimes and bedtimes that were fairly uneventful. I'd put him in his crib and he'd just curl up and fall asleep in minutes. Lately, he's doing the exact opposite, using his crib as a wrestling ring. If you could hear the sounds he makes, you'd agree with me on that. He's very physical. He likes to make a lot of noise (in and out of the crib). I'm either going to have to give him his nap later and his bedtime later, or I'll have to just let him be pissed at me. Three times is my limit on fetching his pacifier for him (I think he'll start wearing his nummy clip when he goes to bed from now on, but I hate to do that). After that, he's on his own. And, boy, does he get M-A-D. Eventually, I think he'll figure it out. He's got to, right? And the deal with mealtimes...if he doesn't want to eat, I let him out of his highchair and I feed him when I think he's hungry (read: crabby as hell).
It just seems like he changed his sleep and meal routines overnight. I don't get it. I just hope I get it by the time Baby Liv goes through this phase, if she ever does. Ha!
Me = Wishful Thinking
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Change Is Good...
Friday, July 14, 2006
Love and Marriage...
Why am I posting about this? Today is the my parents' 44th anniversary. I can't believe they've been together so long. They are older, wiser, and most definitely grayer than when they started out as a young married couple. I can still remember them without gray hair, really. To be truthful, they don't seem like they've been married that long to me. By the time they were married one year, they'd already had my sister. My brother came along the following year. And by the time I arrived, they'd already been married for ten years. It's hard to believe that today is the day they'll be married for 44 years. That's a long time.
And they've done a great job raising three kids, too. Nothing about marriage, or life in general, is ever easy. They've weathered great storms and triumphed in great family successes together. I'm sincerely proud of them for that.
Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad! You've done a great job!
Thursday, July 13, 2006
The Master of Boo-Boos...
This kid is either one of two things:
A) a typical toddler
B) a magnet for disasters
I'm hoping it's the former and not the latter. Yeesh. Please tell me girls are more careful and that there really is hope for Baby Liv. Hopefully, I won't be a nervous wreck by the time she's his age. By then, I'm sure Baby Jack would've had the best of me...and my frazzled nerves.
Do they make bubble wrap onesies or sleepers? If so, I'm first in line.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Nothing Can Compare...
I realize that breastfeeding is a choice. I don't judge anyone who chooses not to do it because I know how difficult it can be, especially during growth spurts. However, I must say that it has changed my life for the better.
My son didn't like to nurse, so I pumped my breastmilk and bottle-fed it to him. That was fine by me because I was still giving him my milk, which I deeply wanted him to have. Eventually, he started drinking formula mixed with breastmilk until I weaned him onto formula completely. It was difficult to pump all the time and I was going back to work, so I needed his feedings to be easier for everyone around. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed at his choice not to nurse exclusively. He'd had a difficult entry into this world by way of an emergency Cesaerean, a naso-gastric feeding tube, and bottle-feeding right away, in the hospital for a week. I tried nursing and I did kangaroo care, too. I'd wished it had been different, though. He didn't take to nursing for two months and I continued to supplement, as well. I doubted my own nourishing abilities, so I pumped and pumped and pumped to give him all the benefits of breastmilk. However, there came a time when I just couldn't stand pumping anymore. He was weaned and then I became pregnant again when he was six months old. I looked at it as a second chance to do it all over again. I was prepared for it, mentally and emotionally.
When my daughter was born (also) by emergency Cesaerean (due to my placenta tearing), she was a month premature. I worried that she wouldn't feed properly. Boy, was I wrong! She amazed everyone around her by feeding immediately despite her rough entry into the world and went home with me three days later. She gained and gained and kept gaining weight on my milk. And she knew exactly what to do. Within two months, she doubled her birthweight. She and I were in sync with each other, feeding on demand at all hours. It didn't matter to me what time she was hungry anymore. I knew that we could do it together. We made a great team then and we still do now.
Breastfeeding has given me the confidence I needed as a mother. I can't believe how much it has changed my life for the better. If I could do it all over again, I would choose to breastfeed. Its benefits aren't just for the baby, but for me, as well. I see that now, even when it's not so easy at times. Sure, there have been days and nights when I'd rather just sleep instead of feed, but those moments are rare now. I've made a choice for my daughter and me and we reap the benefits together. How could I deny us both such rewards? It's one of the best things I've ever done in my entire life.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Mom Said So...
all your kids, and who are the fathers? What are they doing to help
PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go,
young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"
MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER: "I don't mind you having a garden,
Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"
MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on
braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"
HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: "Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a
hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me?
COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher.
You still could have written!"
BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: "Babe, how many times have I told you -- quit
playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"
MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other
children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the
NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your
report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and
CUSTER'S MOTHER: "Now, George, remember what I told you -- don't go
biting off more than you can chew!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you
just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
BARNEY'S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney,
but you're starting to look a little purple."
MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school,
Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."
BATMAN'S MOTHER: "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much
the insurance is going to be?"
GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the
Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"
LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER: "Well, all I've got to say is if you don't
get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot
more spiders around here!"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't
you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money
across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"
JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've
really been for the last three days."
SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and
we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit
spending so much time in all those phone booths?"
THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric
light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"
Monday, July 10, 2006
Radio Flyer Kicks Ass...
I wonder if Baby Liv will do the same thing when she gets older. Heh...
Sunday, July 09, 2006
It's Sunday & I'd Rather Be Home...
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Oh, happy day, Kids!
Friday, July 07, 2006
Ten Ways To Tell If You Have Estrogen Issues...
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
8. Your home thermostat doesn't seem to be cooling no matter what it's set on.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
An American Favorite...
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Baby Jack Can Clap!...
Yesterday evening, I'd just finished nursing Baby Liv and I picked up the phone to call my Mother. While I was talking to her with Baby Liv on my lap in the living room, I was watching Baby Jack do his nightly 100 laps around the dining room table. Every night at 7 o'clock I let him run around with just his diaper on and he loves it. He plays his "banjo belly" and runs free. He had stopped running for what I thought was to play with the buckle on his highchair, like he normally does. Uh...WRONG!
He came up to me, curiously overjoyed, clapping his hands together. I thought, "Hooray! Baby Jack can clap!" It's something I've been trying to get him to do for months, but he just won't do it when I request it. Ahhh...a sigh of relief...for a brief moment until I saw how filthy he was. "Oh, Jack. I told you not to play with the dirt in the plant." My Mom, still on the phone, said, "Uh-oh."
Pause. "Wait a second...I moved that plant more than a year ago. What is that on your hands? What's in your hair? What the hell is that smell?"
"Uh...I gotta go, Mom." Click.
Yep...you guessed it. Baby Jack pooped silently, reached into his dipey, and smeared it all over his body (in "banjo belly" streaks) in less than one minute. Thank goodness he didn't put any of it in his mouth! I never even heard him give his usual grunting signals. THAT'S why he was clapping. He discovered a new trick! And what do you suppose he wanted to do next? Yeah, that's right...he wanted to touch me, my hair, my everything. Gah! Off to the tub we went! Duh.
Now, this doesn't mean I won't let him do his nightly dipey run anymore. It just means I'll be sitting on the couch, not the loveseat, so I can see him completely! Yeesh...
On that note, have a Happy 4th of July holiday!
Monday, July 03, 2006
Highlights In Pictures...
Baby Jack and Bubba, learning how to play with each other...
Baby Liv's eyes were fixated on My Brother-In-Law for quite a while...
There's My Sister with Baby Liv again...
Me with My Brother and My Sister; it's all about love, you know...
...and My Dad a.k.a. "The Baby Whisperer."
Sunday, July 02, 2006
A Little "Mom" Humor...
(The Real Story)
It's a sunny morning in the big forest and the Bear family is just
waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and looks at the table at his
small bowl........... it is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?!!" he
squeaks with all the fierceness he can muster.
Next, Papa Bear arrives at the scene, looks into his big
bowl............. it is also empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?!!"
he roars and shakes the house.
Mama Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, "For heaven's sake, how many times do we have to go through
"It was Mama Bear who got up first; It was Mama Bear who woke up
everyone in the house; It was Mama Bear who made the coffee; "t was Mama Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put
everything away; It was Mama Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper; It was Mama Bear who set the table; It was Mama Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box, and filled the cat's water and food dish, and, now that you've decided to drag your sorry selves downstairs and grace Mama Bear's kitchen with your grumpy presence,........ listen good.........'cause I'm only going to say this
one more time.............. I HAVEN'T MADE THE #*#*#* PORRIDGE