Comments from the Peanut Gallery

Taking one day at a time...

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  • DO SOMETHING GOOD
  • Sunday, December 31, 2006

    Today's Third Post Is About My List...

    This is my list for the 2007 Dead Pool.

    1. Louis Farrakhan
    2. Mike Tyson
    3. George Michael
    4. Fidel Castro
    5. Billy Graham
    6. Clint Eastwood
    7. Jerry Lewis
    8. Quincy Jones
    9. Boy George
    10. Tammy Faye Bakker-Messner

    How do you like my picks? I'm soooo gonna win this one. Heh...

    Today's Second Post Has To Do With My Hair...

    Because you asked for it, here's the picture of my new 'do. I am completely satisfied, although now I'll actually have to fix it in the morning. Yeesh...
    Any comments?

    Cha, Cha, Cha...

    1. Baby Jack has diarrhea. And a sore butt. I just want to hold him in my arms until it gets better. My poor baby.

    2. Baby Liv is wearing a 12 month clothing size now. She's not even nine months old yet.

    3. I chopped my hair. Okay, it's not really chopped, but it's definitely different than what I normally have. I just got so sick of pulling it into a ponytail all the time or wearing a headband out of convenience. I have long layers now. And it doesn't look bad at all. I wanted something new for the new year.

    4. I'm off of work for one more week. Really, I just want to sit around in my pajamas for the next 168+ hours.

    5. I'm still compiling my Dead Pool list. I will submit it and/or post it before this year is over.

    6. My idea of fun on New Year's Eve consists of staying home, playing with the babies, and going to sleep before the news comes on TV. I can't even remember the last time I went out on New Year's Eve, nor can I recall the last time I ever wanted to. Home is so much safer.

    Have a safe New Year's Eve!

    Saturday, December 30, 2006

    Peanut Butter & Chubbyfat...

    Peanut Butter

    Chubbyfat

    Peanut Butter

    Chubbyfat

    Yeah, I know. You're sick of all the picture posts. But with babies this cute, I just can't help myself.
    Do they have to grow up? Sigh...

    Friday, December 29, 2006

    What You've Waited For...

    Java in color...


    Baby Jack all smiles...

    Look, Ma! No hands!

    Papa, who doesn't like his picture on my blog...

    Baby Liv and Me...

    I think my house after Christmas looks like anyone else's who has a toddler and a baby...messy. And that's okay with me. Messy means fun, as long as it's not filthy. Heh...

    Thursday, December 28, 2006

    Captured...

    One of Baby Jack's favorite new toys...

    One of the fifty or so apples gracing my tree's limbs...

    Nutcrackers have always frightened me...

    Java Beans in black and white

    These photos were taken with my sexy new toy. You may be wondering why I didn't post any photos of Baby Jack and Baby Liv. To be honest, I couldn't choose which ones to post, so I just didn't.

    There will be more pictures coming in the future. Run while you can. Heh...

    Wednesday, December 27, 2006

    Oompa Loompa...

    Baby Liv is starting to look more and more like an Oompa Loompa lately. I think we're feeding her too many foods rich in beta-carotene. I'm going to have to cut down on so many foods that she likes, or cut them out completely, for a few weeks. Every picture I take of her shows off her beautiful, but orange, nose and she looks like she's been on the beach!

    My dilemma involves the choices of foods she'll have left once I take away the carotene-rich foods. It bums me out and I have no idea just how long it will take for her to return to looking more human, less "carnival side show."

    The following will have to be eliminated in order to be sure it's carotenemia:
    carrots
    spinach
    squash
    sweet potatoes
    yellow corn
    apples
    oranges
    peaches
    prunes
    She doesn't like peaches and isn't a big fan of prunes, so no sweat there. The rest, however, is disappointing. There are other foods that are carotene-rich, but she doesn't eat those yet (lettuce, broccoli, asparagus, tomatoes, butter, etc.), so it's no big deal that she can't have them. What am I supposed to give her in place of the foods that she loves? Will she have to keep eating peas until she's back to her normal color? And why the hell do all the baby food dinners made have carrots in them?
    She sees her doctor on January 4th for her nine-month check-up. I'm pretty sure she's just eaten too much of the carotene-rich foods. I would bet my life it's not jaundice. (The whites of her eyes look fine, by the way.) However, I don't know how long she'll be complacent with peas.
    Does anyone know how long it will take for that orange color to fade? She's practically glowing!

    Tuesday, December 26, 2006

    Do You Hear That?...

    Yeah, that sound. It's the sound of both of my babies napping at the same time. Isn't it lovely?

    Oh, yeah. And that other sound you hear is the dog snoring right next to me.

    Other than the clicking of the keys on my computer keyboard and the dog snoring, this house is pretty quiet. I love this kind of non-noise.

    And this will give me a great chance to learn all about my sexy new toy. Heh...

    Monday, December 25, 2006

    Pooped...

    I love the hustle and bustle of family gatherings during the holidays. However, I am pooped right now and the day isn't even over yet. It's all worth it in the end, though.

    Family. Love. Friendships. Good times. Fully bellies. Warm hearts.

    It's all about love. Yeah, baby!

    Have a safe, warm, and happy holiday!

    Sunday, December 24, 2006

    From Our Home To Yours...

    We hope you have a safe and happy holiday! And that Santa's ass can fit down your chimney. Heh...
    (SIDENOTE: I'd post more, but I'm just strapped for time. We're having my family over and there's a lot to do around here in Eatmiseryland today. And, of course, tomorrow is a full day, as well. I'll try to post some pictures along the way. It's Baby Liv's first Christmas and Baby Jack's second one. They don't know what's going on, but I'm sure they'll be tired at bedtime...hopefully. Heh...)

    Saturday, December 23, 2006

    Spreading Some Holiday Cheer...

    Heh...

    Friday, December 22, 2006

    She Moves!...

    Baby Liv has figured out that she can actually move her body! No, she's not crawling; she's doing something a little more creative. She's scooting across the floor, while she sits, using her butt muscles (a.k.a. her hump, her hump, her hump) to get from Point A to Point B!

    She was doing it last night and I nearly fell over. She knew that she could go across the floor by doing just that. She kept going after a book, but her feet kept pushing it farther away from her. That, in turn, caused her to keep scooting across the floor on her butt. She amazes me!

    Baby Jack wasn't sure what to make of it, but he just continued being his crazy self. It wasn't until she did this (below) that he realized she's actually going to be fun to hang out with someday.

    Papa stood her up and let her play with a toy she's been so curious about, but couldn't reach. He did a great job acting as her "spotter."

    Baby Liv and Baby Jack...best pals forever!

    Thursday, December 21, 2006

    What Would YOU Have Done?...

    One of the girls in my homeroom came to school today with a dark purple ring of large hickeys around her neck. She's the smartest girl in my class and easily a candidate to be part of the Honors class. However, her lapse in judgment in this instance led me to question her common sense. I know who her boyfriend is and I thank my lucky stars he's not in my room, nor does she have any classes with him. He's a volatile young man with a history of suspensions longer than a year's worth of grocery lists for me.

    I had pulled the girl aside and told her that I didn't approve of the choices she had made and I let her know my disappointment in her. She tried to play it off that they weren't hickeys; that it was a game some of the girls and her were playing. Uh...I'm not stupid and I wasn't born yesterday. So, what was I to do? I couldn't write up a misconduct report; there's nothing in the school rules that states a kid can't come to school with hickeys! It didn't happen in the building, so I had no jurisdiction to do anything punitive. Instead, I trusted my gut.

    I called her mother and invited her to come to school at the end of the day. Her mother was worried that my urge to meet with her had something to do with her daughter's academic progress. I assured her that her daughter is a model student and is doing very well in all of her classes. I just wanted to show her something. I wasn't comfortable telling her over the phone; she needed to see it for herself. At that moment, I started thinking like a Mother, not a teacher. If that were my daughter, I would want to know. (Of course, how would she ever have missed the sight of those ugly marks? What kind of mother wouldn't notice that? Silently, I began to question how involved the mother was in the girl's life.)

    The mother came to school as I requested and I walked into the conference room with her daughter (who had no idea her mother was coming or that I had called her). I proceeded to tell the girl (who was caught off-guard by this meeting) to show her mother her neck. I was concerned and wasn't sure if the mother had seen the hickeys. With one look at her daughter's neck, the mother deflated. Every dream, hope, and intention she had for her little girl seemed to have vanished. She had trusted her and now she knew she couldn't. She was betrayed, left raw in a matter of seconds...by her thirteen-year-old daughter. The mother was so ashamed of her daughter. She hadn't seen the marks when the girl left for school because....they weren't there! The girl and her boyfriend had done that to each other in the front of the school before they came into the building...in front of other kids!

    I had to put myself in her mother's shoes. Wouldn't I want to know what my kid was up to when I wasn't around? Wouldn't I want to know that someone else was also looking out for my kid's well-being? Wouldn't I be upset if no one took the time to tell me about my kid's behavior at school?

    Would I be ashamed? Probably. Would I be pissed at my kid? Hell yeah. Would I be more vigilant? You betcha. Would I be angry at the teacher? Never.

    Near the end of the meeting, I explained to the mother that I hadn't called her in to make her feel embarrassed. I assured her that her daughter was a good girl, but that we wanted to make sure she stayed on the correct path...that she wasn't ready for sexual activity because she's only 13...that she's a star in class, but that I'm worried about the company she's keeping. I looked the mother in the eye and told her that I am a mother...that I have a daughter...that I wouldn't want someone to keep something like this from me...that I truly care for her kid's well-being. And do you know how she responded?

    "Thank you, Mom." And she wept.

    While I was going to my car, I could hear her yelling at her daughter firmly. And the daughter was smart-mouthing her. When they saw me walking to my car, they stopped talking altogether. As they got into their car, the mother was wiping her own tears from her face as she put on her seat belt. When they drove away, I could only think about how long of a night it would be for the two of them.

    What would you have done if you were in my shoes? I played the role of the teacher, but I just couldn't help feeling like a Mother.

    Wednesday, December 20, 2006

    Christmas Eve Is Only Four Days Away...

    ...and it's the first time in my whole life that My Gram won't be here to celebrate it with the family. Okay, she's probably here in spirit, but that's different. She left this world two weeks ago today and the sting of her absence clouds my thoughts. Physically, there will be an empty place at the table, a vacancy in her spot on the couch, and one less person to take pictures of that day.

    My holiday is bittersweet.

    Tuesday, December 19, 2006

    Seasonal Stress...

    There's so much to do when the holidays come around. Baking, Christmas cards, pictures, parties, cleaning, shopping, wrapping, tree trimming,...it can monopolize your time so much that you forget what the holiday season is all about.

    I've got so much more baking to do, along with assembling said goodies. There's last-minute gifts to try to find. Lucky for me, Hubby does all the shopping; he doesn't mind. I, however, absolutely hate it. The crowds, the jostling for parking spaces, the "angry people"...it drives me crazy. I still have to clean the house and wrap presents and take care of the babies' daily needs, in addition to working full-time. Yeah, I'm taking one thing at a time, but it can be so daunting when I look at what I've accomplished and what still needs to be done. Gah!

    I'm just glad the tree is up and Baby Jack hasn't knocked it over yet or stripped it of its ornaments. I'm glad the cards are done; they'll be in the mail today. I spent over an hour printing out and cropping our family picture to send with the cards. Yeesh. It just never stops.

    I think my Christmas party for work is tonight, but I'm not going. I have too much to do and my babies need me as much as I need them.

    I shouldn't complain. After Friday, I'll have two weeks off from work to catch up on "me" time, if there is such a thing once you become a Mother. I don't have to go back to work until January 8th. Being a teacher certainly has its perks. Don't kid yourself, though. Teachers need that time off. Have you ever seen eighth-graders around the holidays? Talk about stress.

    So, I'll just keep on keepin' on, taking one thing at a time, getting more and more things knocked off my neverending list. And I'll try to put the holiday hustle and bustle out of my mind until next year. Heh...

    Easier said than done...

    Monday, December 18, 2006

    The 2006 Eatmisery Family Holiday Photo...

    Happy Holidays!

    Sunday, December 17, 2006

    Being A Mom...

    I received this from one of my dearest friends and thought that all the Moms who read this would appreciate it. It's called, "Being a Mom." I find that it is so true; it brings tears to my eyes. You may need a Kleenex when you finish reading it. I know I did.

    We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."

    "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

    "It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

    "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

    But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.

    I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

    I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?", that every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her, that when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

    I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub, that an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.

    I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

    I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine.

    That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

    However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

    Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.

    That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

    I want her to k now that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.

    I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

    I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.

    I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

    My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

    Saturday, December 16, 2006

    Velveeta Fudge...

    By the looks of the ingredients, you might think it's disgusting, but it's not. It actually tastes like chocolate cheesecake. Try it!

    1/2 lb. Velveeta cheese
    1/2 lb. margarine
    Melt cheese and margarine in microwave (not the highest setting). Make sure it is melted.

    SIFT:
    2 lbs. powered sugar
    1/2 Cup Cocoa powder
    Pour the cheese/margarine over the sifted ingredients and stir, stir, stir.

    ADD:
    1 Tbsp. Vanilla
    1 Cup walnuts (optional)

    POUR: onto greased cookie sheet and cool. Cut into squares and freeze.
    It keeps for months.

    Friday, December 15, 2006

    Mom's Milky Way Cake...

    If you read this and were curious about the dessert in #15, go to My Sister's blog and get our Mom's recipe for this divine cake. Eat it for breakfast, like she does, or eat it frozen, like I do. Whatever way you like it, just eat it before it disappears. It's simply wonderful!

    And be sure you thank our Mom for it!

    And go on over to Paul's blog and congratulate him on the birth of his new baby girl! We love babies!

    Thursday, December 14, 2006

    He Knows What He Likes...

    Last night, we sat down to eat dinner and Baby Jack was his usual finicky self. He ate nothing but garlic bread, which isn't unusual for him. Baby Liv, however, ate everything I put in front of her. She's my good eater, you know.

    Hubby and I had finished eating. Baby Liv was playing in her high chair with her spoon and practicing sitting up well. Baby Jack, on the other hand, was still eating his garlic bread when Hubby decided to bring out some dessert.

    Baby Jack took one look at what Hubby had on his plate, threw his garlic bread on the floor, and said something very appropriate and very intelligent. He said, "PIE!" And, of course, he ate it. The boy loves apple pie.

    In other news, Baby Liv's birth story has been published in BabyZone. You can read it, if you haven't already. There's also a link to Baby Jack's birth story in it, too, which was published in BabyZone last year.

    (SIDENOTE: I'm trying to keep myself busy. I miss My Gram so much and I can't believe she's been gone a week already. It seems like only yesterday. I'm trying to find bright spots in every day to light my way out of a grief that could easily consume me. It's not easy for me at all, but I know she'll live on in everyone who loved her. There's a little bit of Gram in all of us, you know. My children gave her so much joy and I can be happy about that. Gram will help me get through this somehow. She will show me the way.)

    Wednesday, December 13, 2006

    Thanks For The Diversion, Erin!...

    My blogging buddy, Erin, sent me this meme in my email and I thought it would be an interesting post. I'm not tagging anyone, but if you feel like posting your own answers to this, let me know so I can see them.

    1. Eggnog or Hot chocolate?
    I like both.

    2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
    Santa wraps.

    3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
    It depends on my mood. I like colored on the tree and white on the house, though.

    4. Do you hang mistletoe?
    No, it's poisonous to children and animals.

    5. When do you decorate for Christmas?
    When I'm in the mood and after I drink a whole pot of coffee first.

    6. What is your favorite holiday dish? (Excluding desserts!)
    I like pancit, a Filipino family favorite.

    7. Favorite holiday memory as a child.
    I remember telling my parents that I saw Santa Claus in the house. I was insistent on it and they just nodded their heads.

    8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
    I don't remember, honestly.

    9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
    Always

    10. Do you bake cookies every year?
    You bet

    11. Snow? Love it or dread it?
    If I have nowhere I need to be or I'm on Winter Break, I don't mind the snow. Otherwise, I don't like it. Oh, and I don't like it when it gets dirty or yellow. I only like it when it's fresh and new.

    12. Can you ice skate?
    Yes, but I don't do it often.

    13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
    When I was a kid, my parents got me a pottery wheel. I still have it.

    14. What's your favorite thing about the holidays? What's the most
    important thing about the Holidays for you?
    I love the music and the quality time with family.

    15. Favorite holiday dessert?
    My Mom's Milky Way Cake, frozen.

    16. What is your favorite Holiday tradition?
    I love having Christmas Eve dinner for my family. Hubby goes all out for that.

    17. What is your tree topper like?
    We have a "Filipino star," made by My Mother's uncle a long, long time ago.

    18. Do you like to give or receive?
    Both.

    19. What is your favorite Christmas carol?
    "Blue Christmas" (also My Gram's favorite)

    20. Candy canes? Yuck or Yum?
    Love 'em

    21. What was the one gift you always wanted for Christmas but never got?
    An unlimited supply of money, no strings attached

    22. Do you buy a gift for yourself when shopping?
    I thought we were supposed to do that.

    23. Favorite Christmas Movie?
    "Home Alone"

    24. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?
    We decorate while listening to Christmas music and when we're done, we turn off all the lights, except for the ones on the tree, and then cuddle.

    25. What do you do on Christmas morning?
    We go to my in-laws' for breakfast

    Tuesday, December 12, 2006

    I Wish I Didn't Know This...

    My employer gives us five paid bereavement days, separate from the ten regular sick days and three personal days we get each year. I wish I didn't know this.

    I went to work yesterday morning and didn't stay more than ten minutes. I was too consumed with grief to think about maintaining a classroom environment fit for learning. I thought I could do it. I woke up; did my morning routine with the babies; drove to work. I know I got to work, but I don't remember driving there. So I talked to my boss and then left. He didn't see a problem with me leaving because he understands how big of a loss Gram was to our family. I went to My Mother's; Gram used to live downstairs in the in-law apartment. I needed to be around her things, her dog, her familiar smell.

    What I learned is that it's nearly impossible to grieve at home with two young babies who need their Mama to be 100%. I had no idea I would be going to My Mother's instead of work, but that's exactly where I ended up. I needed her and I needed to grieve there, as well.

    And I did. And I feel better, despite the fact that I just haven't been sleeping much at all since Gram passed away. I just can't sleep. So, I'm taking today off, as well, since it's considered a bereavement day. I just don't feel up to it and I would like to catch up on some sleep, if I can. Tomorrow's a field trip day, so it'll be a good distraction for me, I think.

    I also think I'm going to start crocheting again. I think I need to.

    Monday, December 11, 2006

    Gift Card Scheme...

    A friend of mine passed on this information to me and I'd like to share it with you. This is a scheme that clever crooks are using to swindle people during the holidays. Perhaps knowledge of this will help you when you're doing your holiday shopping.

    Crooks have found a way to rob you of your gift card balance. If you buy gift cards from a display rack that has various store cards, you may become a victim of theft. Crooks are now jotting down the card numbers in the store, waiting a few days, and then calling to see how much of a balance THEY have on the card. Once they find the card is "activated," they then go online and start shopping.

    You may want to purchase your card from a customer service person, where they do not have the gift cards viewable to the public. Please share this with all your family and friends.

    I never would've thought about doing that. I guess I wouldn't make such a good crook.

    Sunday, December 10, 2006

    It's Quiet...

    It's very quiet.

    Saturday, December 09, 2006

    Decompression...

    It's been a very long day.

    My Gram was buried today.

    I do not have any words to accurately describe what I feel. My life will never be the same.

    The only comfort I have is the knowledge that My Gram is no longer in pain, no longer suffering, and is watching out for me and my family. She loved us all so much. Baby Liv was such a joy to her; she laughed like crazy at her every time Gram held her. I don't know if it was her husky voice, her blue eyes that Livie shares, or her sense of humor that put Livie in stitches every time Gram held her. I do know, however, that I see a lot of My Gram in my daughter. She left us so many legacies.

    Baby Jack would always play with her VCR and screw it up somehow. She didn't seem to mind, though. She would just fix it and get on with life because that's what kids do; they mess up what we fix. In fact, I think he actually broke her VCR. Heh...

    Me...my life will never be the same. I will keep a part of Gram with me forever. She was so many things to me, more than what I can put into words. She knew all of my secrets and she took them to her grave with her. She was a big part of a healing process I had to go through. I can't elaborate on that at the moment. Just know that she was there for me when I needed her the most.

    I can't believe she's gone. I wish you could've known her. She would've left her mark on you. She's unforgettable.

    She was my friend. She was my friend.

    Friday, December 08, 2006

    In Classic Eatmisery Fashion...

    ...I post something to distract myself from the stress of the moment. That's just what I do.

    *How to write English Properly*

    1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
    2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
    3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
    4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
    5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
    6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
    7. Be more or less specific.
    8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
    9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
    10. No sentence fragments.
    11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
    12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
    13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it'shighly superfluous.
    14. One should NEVER generalize.
    15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
    16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
    17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
    18. Analogies in writing are
    like feathers on a snake.
    19. The passive voice is to be ignored.
    20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical wordshowever should be enclosed in commas.
    21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
    22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
    23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forthearth-shaking ideas.
    24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hatequotations. Tell me what you know."
    25. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
    26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
    27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
    28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
    29. Who needs rhetorical questions?
    30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

    And the last one...

    31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

    Thursday, December 07, 2006

    Please Wake Me Up...

    I'm awake and going through the motions, but yesterday was not some sort of nightmare that I thought I'd wake up from. This is all too real.

    I may be physically awake, but I'm just a zombie walking around the house, searching for something to do, going through the motions, feeling emptier with every second that passes. I have to keep it together because I have two babies who need me, which makes grieving all the more difficult. I'm shattered on the inside, a vacant place in my heart, eyes swollen shut from yesterday's tears. Hollow...

    I feel sick. My heart feels sick.

    Give me some sort of sign, Gram, that you'll always be here looking out for me. Every time I look into Baby Liv's eyes, I see yours. She has your eyes, you know, and your husky voice. Give me some sort of sign that will help all of us get through this great loss.

    The silence your absence has created is deafening. Let me hear you again. I need to hear you.

    Wednesday, December 06, 2006

    Woman...

    At 7:40pm, my Gram became one of the angels. She passed away quietly and peacefully without any pain. She would've been 88 years old next month. She hadn't been feeling well for the past several days and was taken by ambulance to the hospital this morning. She had double pneumonia and was in congestive heart failure. Her breathing was aided by a CPAP, which helped force oxygen into her lungs and kept her breathing airway open. It was not a ventilator; Gram had a DNR. Her mind was strong, but her body just gave up.

    She was many things to me and my children. I am devastated.

    I went to the hospital after work this afternoon and she was able to acknowledge me. She couldn't speak, but she looked into my eyes when I told her I love her and she squeezed my hand. She fell asleep shortly thereafter and never woke up.

    I am lucky to have had that as a goodbye. She gave me closure. Life is never going to be the same without hearing her call me, "Woman!" We used to call each other that nickname.


    I love you, Gram. I love you more than I can put into words. And your absence has made a hole in my heart. You weren't just my grandmother; you were my friend. And when I wake up tomorrow, I'm going to hope this was just a nightmare.

    She has no pain now. That's the most important thing. And I will see her again one day. But it doesn't make me any less sad.

    I miss her and I'll never forget all the things she did for me.

    Interesting Links...

    1. Seriously, WTF is wrong with this guy's eyebrows and face? Is he fug, or what?

    2. This is one garage sale I wouldn't spend a dime at.

    3. People will eat whatever they want to eat. Making it illegal only makes it more appealing.

    4. Talk about living a lie for twenty years. This guy's mother really screwed up his head.

    5. Only in San Francisco...

    6. This takes "shitty tacos" to a whole new level. Taco Hell, anyone?

    7. Art imitates life.

    Have you seen any interesting news lately?

    Tuesday, December 05, 2006

    Some People Are Worth More When They're Dead...

    It's time for me to compose my list. And I'm not talking about my Christmas list. Heh...

    This was my list for 2006. Although I won the last two years in a row, I probably didn't win this year. That's okay, though. I gotta give up the crown, eventually. My Sister or my Dad probably won. See the rules for playing here or here.

    Yeah, we're a strange family, but we sure as hell know how to have good, clean fun. Heh...

    Monday, December 04, 2006

    Don't Come Near Me With That Thing...

    Apparently, there's a new invention. It still has to be tested and approved in Europe. I certainly hope it doesn't make it's way here. I don't trust it. Where will the contents that go inside it go, especially if it's "glued" to the skin? And how will anyone be able to get it off their skin? Perhaps it's like those Hollywood special effects masks that take hours to put on and just peel off. Whatever the case, this is scary.

    It reminds me of those liquid bandaids. The smell of them is horrible. And I'm guessing this new invention isn't going to smell like apple pie. How gross!

    Sunday, December 03, 2006

    Baby Liv's Graduation...

    Her foot was exactly one week old in the picture above. Would you believe that the tiny foot you see there was even tinier a week before?

    We only wanted to see how they would fit, really. We weren't expecting it to happen so soon. I can remember when preemie diapers were too big for her. She was born a whole month premature at 5 pounds 5 ounces and, at one point, weighed 4 pounds 8 ounces. Two days later, we went home from the hospital and she was 4 pounds 14 ounces. It seems like only yesterday.

    Baby Liv has graduated...to a bigger diaper size. She is, officially, wearing the same size diaper as her big brother, Baby Jack, and he's fourteen months older than her!

    She WAS wearing the #2 Pampers Swaddlers; NOW she's wearing the #3 Pampers Cruisers. And she's not even cruising yet!

    She has caught up to her brother. He's about 25 pounds and she's about 18 pounds. I could be way off on both of them. All I know is that the #3 Pampers Cruisers cover a broad range of weights...16-28 pounds. She's at the lower end of the spectrum and he's at the higher end.

    It doesn't matter, though. In my mind, I'm freaking the fuck out that I have two babies who are a year apart and they're wearing the same size diaper! Holy shit!

    Holy. Shit.

    Mama loves you, Livie.


    Saturday, December 02, 2006

    The Gun In My Mouth Blues...

    My Hubby and I had an interesting discussion the other day. We were listening to Christmas music during dinner and a Karen Carpenter was holiday song was playing on the radio. There's something about her voice that makes me so sad. She can make a lively song sound so morose. The sadness in her voice reflected the sadness in her head, in my humble opinion. Leave it to Hubby, though, to make light of it.

    Me: Every time I hear songs by Karen Carpenter, I just want to blow my head off. She has a beautiful voice, but it's very depressing.

    Hubby: Isn't that how she killed herself? She blew her head off?

    Me: No. She died of anorexia.

    Hubby: She wasn't anorexic, Eatmisery. She just wasn't hungry.

    I shook my head in dismay, but chuckled. Only he would say something like that. Oy vey!

    Friday, December 01, 2006

    Something You'll Never Forget...

    Not that it was too hard for me, since I post daily anyway, but I successfully completed the NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) challenge. I wrote every day during the month of November and I didn't even miss a day, even with all the hullaballoo here in Eatmiseryland (Hubby's back surgery, recovery, etc.). *Insert pat on back here*

    I was trying to think of something memorable to post for the first day of December and I think I've got it. I'm going to tell you how I really feel about something. Brace yourself.

    Are you ready?

    I am so sick of hearing about this. It's making me want to gouge my eyes and ears out with a hot fireplace poker. I don't know what the big hubbub about this is, but I honestly don't understand why certain young celebrities want to walk around with no pubic hair. I mean, really. Do they really think that guys get off on fucking something that feels like a baby? Or worse...it feels like five o'clock shadow. Ewwwww. That's so gross on so many levels.

    Paris Hilton (she is said to have herpes), Tara Reid (she needs AA desperately), Lindsay Lohan (didn't she just OD on cocaine and painkillers a few weeks ago?), and now Britney Spears (who's been partying every night since she filed for divorce when she should be home with her babies--I'm really pissed about that!)...no pubes...in public...with skirts that barely cover their vajayjays...and photographers are taking snapshots of it and posting it on my favorite gossip blogs like Dlisted and Tabloid Whore. I am not one to go looking for hairless vajayjays on the Internet; it's just that my favorite blogs are being overrun by this "news," which isn't really "news" anymore since these Jezebels do it all the time. I don't want to avoid these blogs because I like them. It's mindless reading to me and I don't have to buy "The Star" or "The Enquirer" to get it. I'm sure these harlots do it for the publicity. It's just a sick, sick way to get people to pay attention to you. Why not do something memorable that doesn't gross people out?

    For God's sake, you can see Britney's C-section scars! THAT'S how far apart her legs were the other day. And her wax job gave her a rash down there. Not to mention the fact that she's got some work to do in the gym, anyway. I'm not perfect, but I will tell you one thing. You will NOT see my vajayjay in any way, shape, or form on the Internet. And I certainly will not go Brazilian, if you know what I mean. I can't even wax my armpits (we all know what happened with that), let alone have a perfect stranger wax my lady areas. If you want to see my C-section scars, you'll have to marry me first.

    Go ahead and let your eyeballs burn, if you dare. I'm absolutely mortified. I guess I don't get the whole idea of going "bare." It seems so whorish to me.* Then again, I'm a good girl.**

    Britney Spears really should be at home with her babies and not out looking for husband #3. She shouldn't be out galavanting her lack of pubes around town. And she shouldn't be drunk, either. Or hanging around whores. She should be taken down a notch and maybe the courts will decide that when she gets her divorce from FedEx. If you ask me, I think she's out of the running for Mother of the Year. And I certainly don't want to see or hear about her snatch anymore. For God's sake, I can smell it all the way over here! I think I'm going to puke.

    There... I've said what I needed to say. Will my post be a memorable December 1st post for you, especially now that you know my viewpoint on pubes?

    *No offense to whores or those who choose the "bald" look. It's just not for me.

    **No offense to bad girls out there. I'm just a bit old-fashioned when it comes to pubes, I guess. I'm no hippie; I believe in grooming. I just don't see the whole fascination with waxing everything down there. Ugh.