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Taking one day at a time...

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  • Monday, March 31, 2008

    There's NO Fucking Way This Is Accurate...

    I came across the idea for this post on Livey's blog and decided to snag it. However, I can't for the life of me believe for one day that My Sister cusses more than I do. There's got to be something wrong with this.

    Here's my Cuss-O-Meter:
    The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?
    Created by OnePlusYou -

    Now, here's My Sister's Cuss-O-Meter:
    The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?
    Created by OnePlusYou -

    No fucking way!

    Sunday, March 30, 2008

    Full Of Grace...


    Yesterday was our first day at Tuesday's Child and I couldn't be more pleased with how things went. Everyone was so wonderful. Jack only flipped out for about ten minutes when I had to leave him in his classroom so I could go to my own classroom there. He actually wound up having a lot of fun. When I went to pick him up, he came up to me and said, "But I don't want to go home." As I recall, he said those exact same words the day we went there for our intake interview. It's a lovely place full of caring people and the kids there like it, too.

    The teachers there practice the same lessons with the kids that the parents receive in the classes (which are led by a child psychologist who has also been through the program himself). By the time we're done with this program after eight weeks, we'll all be speaking the same language to Jack. This is the reason why I chose this program for us. It's not just behavioral therapy for Jack; it's also for us as a family. It's worth every penny.

    I am so pleased and I feel so optimistic about the road ahead. I just can't say enough good things about Tuesday's Child. It's the right place for us.

    "A hundred years from now,
    it will not matter what my bank account was,
    the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove; but the world may be different
    because I was important in the life of a child."

    *Author Unknown*

    Saturday, March 29, 2008

    Big Bird Is A Pimp...

    One of my students wore this shirt to school yesterday. I just had to get a picture of it to post here.
    I absolutely love it!

    Friday, March 28, 2008

    The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of...

    The past few days have been chaotic, to say the least. I'm so glad it's Friday.

    I went back to work this week after having last week off for spring break. The kids fared well, but now Jack is sick again, as you read in Wednesday's post. I had a dentist appointment Tuesday and had my lower gums scaled this time. I go back in a few weeks for some fillings and a polishing. I have yet to make that appointment for the periodontist to get the gum surgery so I can have a crown put on. Yeah, not looking forward to that at all.

    I also picked up my new glasses, which don't really look much different than the old ones. These glasses, however, don't have hundreds of scratches on them. You'll be pleased to know that I'm actually using that soft little cloth they gave me to clean my lenses, instead of always using my shirt. Whoops!

    It seems like every day this week, the minute I started making dinner, the kids would tear up the house. Jack would somehow end up naked; Liv would inevitably fall down and get a boo-boo; and Java would stand guard at the stove, ready to catch anything that might drop. In the time it takes to make a nice meal, my house is turned upside down. The kids get into everything (e.g. screwdrivers, markers, important keys, every toy they have winds up covering every inch of floor surface, etc.). It's as if an alarm goes off in their heads telling them, "Look, she's busy. Let's make a mess, hide important things, and use every toy we have." And then they wind up refusing to eat, unless it's cookies or bananas.

    Yeesh. I don't know why I'm so happy it's Friday. Jack is still sick, which means Liv's going to get it in a few days. They'll both be whiny messes this weekend. Perhaps I'm dreaming that I might actually get some sleep this weekend. Ha! In my dreams, I actually dream that I do get sleep, the kids are neat, and they eat everything on their plates. Why can't I just have dreams that include hotties like Sportacus?

    Thursday, March 27, 2008

    Can You Read These Right the First Time?...

    Read each sentence aloud right away, without prereading it. It's no wonder why English is such a challenge to learn. There are so many "tricks" in it. Be honest. Which ones, if any, did you have to read aloud twice to get them correct?

    1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

    2) The farm was used to produce produce.

    3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

    4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

    5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

    6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

    7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .

    8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

    9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

    10) I did not object to the object.

    11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

    12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row

    13) They were too close to the door to close it.

    14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

    15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

    16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

    17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

    18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.

    19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

    20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

    Wednesday, March 26, 2008

    A Vicious Cycle...

    Well, Jack is sick...again. It's got to be the fifteenth cold he's had all winter. Seriously, either he or Livie has been sick for the last five months. They pass it back and forth. ALL. THE. TIME. Whatever it is, it just doesn't seem to ever leave this house.

    Hubby was sick all weekend long and even came home early from work on Monday. This whole winter has sucked. I'll be so glad when I can open my windows and air out all the germs and bleach the hell out of everything without anyone dying from the fumes.

    I'm sure the other shoe will drop soon. Livie will get it, then I will get it. It's a vicious cycle. The boogers, the coughing, the runny noses (or stuffy, clogged noses), the rashes above the upper lip that accompany those runny noses, the diarrhea diapers that are caused by all that mucus, the sleepless nights because whoever is sick can't breathe and makes it impossible for anyone else to sleep (this applies to all of us, not just the kids), the Nummy Cycle (child can't breathe, nummy falls out of mouth, child wakes up and realizes said nummy isn't in his/her mouth, and freaks the fuck out because of it, which makes it impossible to get any sleep since this occurs a dozen times a night)...

    Yeah, I think I'm ready for some springlike weather. Gah!

    Tuesday, March 25, 2008

    Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough...

    Exactly how much is enough for any one person, let alone a family?

    According to TMZ, the Jackson family isn't doing too well financially. It's their own faults, though. With big money comes big problems, and managing it is apparently a problem for them. I can't feel bad for them, though. Here is some interesting, but not surprising, news:

    Michael is on the verge of losing Neverland ranch as well as the family's Encino, Calif., home. He is currently hiding out in Las Vegas.

    Marlon stocks shelves at a Vons supermarket in San Diego, and had to temporarily move into an extended-stay hotel with his wife.

    Tito formed a band and plays at small gigs for $500 to $1,500.

    Randy does odd jobs for income. He acted as Michael's business manager during the 2005 molestation trial, but ran into problems with friends after he persuaded three people to take out lines of credits against their homes to help Michael pay his attorney fees and Michael stiffed them!

    Jackie had a failed Internet clothing business and tries to produce. He still lives at home with his parents.

    Jermaine splits time between the parents home and his girlfriend's home. He has more than $5 million in federal, state and other liens against him and a 1995 bankruptcy filing. He does not work and is still involved in a messy, protracted divorce.

    Janet is the current breadwinner of the family. She bought her mom a Vegas home in anticipation of losing the family's mansion to foreclosure.

    La Toya is all but shunned from the family for declaring Michael guilty during the 1993 molestation case. She earns a living mostly in Europe judging beauty and singing contests. She lives with a wealthy boyfriend in Beverly Hills and has little contact with her siblings.

    Rebbie married successful businessman Nathaniel Brown.

    Daddy Joe still thinks the Jackson family can get it together, saying, "We can get back out there and set the world on fire. If the Rolling Stones can still rake in the money, so too can my boys."

    It just goes to show you how some wealthy and famous celebrities can take it all for granted and lose it in a matter of years. Just when you think you have it all, you really never had it in the first place. I realize that money makes the world go 'round, but does it have to? Sadly, I guess it does. Howevah...when celebrities that have hundreds of millions of dollars end up broke, you have to sit back and wonder who the hell they trusted to do their accounting, how they ridiculously squandered their wealth on frivolous things, and what they're going to do without an education.

    Stay in school, kids. Only a tiny part of the population becomes filthy stinkin' rich by becoming famous singers, athletes, and actors. The rest of us? Well, we work.

    This piece is cross-posted at Chicago Moms Blog.

    Monday, March 24, 2008

    Doesn't Everybody Know This?...

    On that note, have a great Monday!

    Sunday, March 23, 2008

    Where Easter Eggs Come From...

    Funny Pictures
    Don't tell your kids. Heh.

    Saturday, March 22, 2008

    Happy Easter...

    A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.

    The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny, and he is DEAD.

    The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry. A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.

    "I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny with my car and KILLED HIM."

    The blonde says, "Don't worry."

    She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead Easter Bunny, bends down, and sprays the contents onto him. The Easter Bunny jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them, and hops off down the road.

    Ten feet away, he stops, turns around, and waves again. He hops down the road another ten feet, turns and waves. He hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

    The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on the Easter Bunny?"

    The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.

    It says...

    (Are you ready for this?)

    (Are you sure?)

    (You know you're gonna be sorry.)

    (Last chance...)

    (OK, here it is)


    It says...

    "Hair Spray...Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave."

    H a p p y E a s t e r !

    Friday, March 21, 2008

    It's Crunch Time...

    There's a lot going on in the next few days. After I bring the kids to my Mom's for a family visit, I have a final exam tonight. (I had two assignments due today, but I already completed them, so no worries there.) I have family in town for my niece's baby shower, which is on Saturday. We'll be at my in-laws' house on Easter Sunday. I need to touch up my nails with another coat of polish. I need to wrap some presents. And I need to get some adequate sleep!

    So much to do, not enough hours to do it all, but I'm going to. I figure that once my final is done, it will take a lot of the pressure off. Then I can relax and enjoy the end of my spring break. I can't believe it went so fast!

    I just keep thinking that, with the end of spring break, the end of the school year is also near. I have twelve more weeks left and then I'm home for the summer. I guess it's time to keep written track on the chalkboard!

    Thursday, March 20, 2008

    Just In Case You're Leaving Town For The Holiday...

    I just wanted to make sure I wished you a great holiday! And a big thanks to Poopie for sending this picture my way. I'm such a sucker for a Labrador. Heh.

    Wednesday, March 19, 2008

    No Shit...

    Um, yeah. There's not a whole lot of potty learning going on this week. We're having too much fun snuggling and doing art projects. I figure I've got all summer to teach them and we're just not in a hurry right now. Life's just too short to not enjoy these moments. Plus, I don't want to spend all week battling with my kids, especially if they're not completely ready. And Jack has been taking his naps in his Big Boy Bed, so that's excellent news. He just loves that twin bed! I don't think he's ready to make the switch to it full-time, though. He'll tell me when he's ready; he always does.
    Right now, we're just enjoying a whole lot of quality time that we don't get a lot of when I'm working. It's great to be their Mom.

    Tuesday, March 18, 2008

    Poke...

    Yesterday, Livie showered me with an impromptu, "I love you, Mommy." Afterward, she gave me the strongest hug ever, then pulled away to look deep into my eyes. While she peered into my soul with those piercing blue eyes of hers, I told her how much I love her, too.

    Out of the blue, she looked at my forehead, gave it a poke with her index finger, and said, "Poke!" And then she ran off to do her Toddler Stuff. I guess she was done with her Mama Moment.

    It's days like this when I totally realize why I exist.

    Monday, March 17, 2008

    There Must Be Something In The Juice They're Drinking...

    Yesterday, both kids made it a point to look me square in the eyes and tell me that they love me. And they meant it each time. Yeah, it happened several times and I just wanted to melt like butter. And they didn't want anything in return, like a cookie or ice cream. They just wanted me to know it. Plus, they were extra snuggly all day long, very well-behaved, and they had tremendous appetites. Could they really know that I'll be home all week long?

    Of course, I spent the rest of the day wiping up the mess all over the floor that was me, gushing all over the place with pride and love. What a perfect way to start my spring break!

    Although, it does make me wonder what they have up their sleeves. After all, I am attempting to teach them to go on the potty this week. Perhaps I'll have to trade that idea in for some more "I love you's." You only live once, you know. And I've got all summer for the potty stuff.

    I'm either going to have the greatest week of my entire life or this is the calm before the storm. I prefer to believe the former, not the latter.

    Sunday, March 16, 2008

    Seen On A Bulletin Board At My School...

    Spelling errors really irk me. Of course, I had to politely tell the teacher (a really great guy, by the way) who did this. An hour later, it was fixed. And I just had to take a picture for your viewing pleasure.
    It's the little things that are going to kill me, you know.

    Saturday, March 15, 2008

    This Is Where I Eloped...

    ...and sometimes I have this overwhelming urge to jump on a plane and go back. Maui is beautiful. Everyone should go there at least once.

    Friday, March 14, 2008

    Condoms & Candy...

    He made his daughter's prom dress out of condoms. I bet she uses every single one of them that night just to get back at her old man. Was this creative? Sure. Could he have been creative with fabric? Absolutely. What the hell kind of message is he conveying?

    Never take candy from strangers. THIS is a stranger.

    Thursday, March 13, 2008

    Four Things...

    Four things that make me happy: Jack, Liv, freshly washed and dried laundry, a clean bathroom

    Four movies I would watch over and over: "The Breakfast Club," "Saw," "Finding Nemo," "Almost Famous"

    Four websites I check daily: Dlisted, TMZ, Drudge Report, Chicago Moms Blog

    Four favorite drinks: water, tea, coffee, dirty martini

    Four places I have lived: All have been in Chicago

    Four TV Shows that I watch: "The Backyardigans," "Dora the Explorer," "Max and Ruby," "Go, Diego, Go!" (not a big TV watcher, unless it's children's shows/I have no time)

    Four favorite colors: Brown, black, red, khaki

    Four places I have been on vacation: Maui (I eloped there), L.A., Hilton Head, Vail

    Four things on my desk right now: water, phone, mouse pad, binder of grad school homework

    Four blogs I read regularly: Orphie the Wonder Dog, Brother Chaos Rules, Mamalife, Northwoods Woman

    Four of my favorite foods: Sushi, mahi mahi, crab legs, salmon

    Four places I would rather be right now: Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, Las Vegas

    Feel free to post your own answers on your blog. Let me know if you do, so I can check it out. What did you learn about me?

    Wednesday, March 12, 2008

    Got Gas?...

    I bought $20 worth of gas (the 89 octane a.k.a. "the middle one") this morning on my way to work. It was $3.49 a gallon and rising, as of 8 a.m. I'm very curious to find out what the price of gas is where you live. Please leave it in the comments section, if you can. Let me know your city and what the middle grade costs. I'm just curious.

    Tuesday, March 11, 2008

    Dessert, Anyone?...

    Yesterday evening was interesting, to say the least. I thought I'd seen it all, but was quickly slapped in the face with the unexpected.

    Jack was running around, eating potato chips with Livie. No, they didn't choke. It's much worse than you can imagine. Livie sat down to watch Diego; Java ate all her dog food without Jack jumping into her water bowl or yelling at her to eat; and Jack was going in and out of all the rooms, while eating his chips. Hubby and I resorted to standing in the kitchen while eating our dinner. When these kids are on the go, go, go, who has time to sit down and eat? Yeesh. It's the story of my life, really.

    I peeked in on Livie and she was peacefully watching her show quietly. I checked on Jack, who was in the office with the dog, and he was jumping around. Upon closer look, I viewed The. Most. Disgusting. Thing. A. Mother. Could. Ever. See.

    Jack was eating...the dog's puke. He didn't want to eat his dinner, but he had no trouble eating the undigested food she had just vomited all over my office rug. You should've been there to see the look on my husband's face. Those of you who know him, know how much of a germophobe he is. Heh.

    On that note, have a great day!

    Monday, March 10, 2008

    The Next Challenge...

    ...is potty learning. I prefer not to call it "training," as my kids are not dogs.

    I bought a kid potty for them yesterday. Jack couldn't wait to get it out of the box. Once we did, he knew exactly what it was for and lost interest. He is so reluctant to go on any potty. Livie, on the other hand, would not get off of it. And she doesn't want to share it, either.


    My gut tells me that if Livie learns to use the potty, Jack will want to, as well. Sometimes she mimics what he does and sometimes it's the other way around. I'm hoping this will be the case.

    We'll start small with just sitting on it, clothed followed by diapered. I want them to get used to it being a fixture in their lives. Then, we'll concentrate on underpants. I'm guessing that, with today's diaper technology, Jack doesn't even know he's wet. I'm thinking that if I just put him in underpants, he'll know when he's wet and won't like it. Sure, we'll go through a lot of clothes each day, but if it helps him notice he's wet, I'm all for it. Plus, that's what a washer and dryer are for, right? First, I'll have to let him pick out the underpants he wants to wear. Knowing Livie, she'll want to pick out her own, too.

    So, I have no idea how long this is going to take, but we're going to take it slow and not put any pressure on the kids. I have all summer to potty learn them, too. Any tips for me?

    Sunday, March 09, 2008

    Are You Kidding Me?...

    Ugh. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

    Saturday, March 08, 2008

    PIN...

    Did you know this?

    If you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an ATM machine, you can notify the police by entering your PIN# in reverse.

    For example, if your PIN number is 1234, then you would put in 4321. The ATM recognizes that your pin number is backwards from the ATM card you placed in the machine. The machine will still give you the money you requested, but unknown to the robber, the police will be immediately dispatched to help you.

    This information was recently broadcast on FOX TV and it states that it is seldom used because people don't know it exists.

    This is good to know.

    Friday, March 07, 2008

    Leading By Example...

    I saw my dentist yesterday and I need a few things done.

    I need oral surgery to remove some of my gum to make a crown possible for this tooth. So, now I have to call an oral surgeon in my network, set up a consultation, and then get the surgery. It'll take a month to heal. After that, I have to go back to my dentist so he can do the crown.

    While I was there, though, I had two fillings done (in white, which is attractive and nearly invisible, if you ask me), my upper gums scaled (ouch), and had a temporary filling put in place for the tooth I broke Tuesday morning. When I told him I broke the tooth flossing, he chuckled until he realized I wasn't joking. I go back at the end of the month to have my lower gums scaled and a few more fillings done. All in all, my mouth was in better condition than I thought, really, especially for not having seen him in nearly ten years (and two children later).

    I'm sore, but I'm happy I went. Mentally, I'm exhausted. Just bringing myself to the dentist beats me up psychologically. Now, I can go again and not be so neurotic about it. Yeah, right.

    I knew I needed to go, if not for me, then for my kids. How can I possibly expect them to go to the dentist if I don't go myself? I am no hypocrite, so I must lead by example, I guess. Gah.

    Thursday, March 06, 2008

    I Learned A Valuable Lesson...

    Before I left for work yesterday morning, I broke a molar while, of all things, flossing. It's a tooth that's been root canaled several times, so I guess it's time for more dental work. I have an appointment at 2:45pm today. I can just see the dollar signs in my dentist's eyes when I walk in the door.

    You all know how I feel about going there. Ironically, the tooth I referred to in that post is not the tooth I broke. Yeesh. This guy's going to go on a vacation in Fiji, staying in a little hut on the water, all because of my mouth.

    Yeah, not looking forward to this.

    Lesson Learned: Don't ever floss.

    Wednesday, March 05, 2008

    I Think A Little Pee Came Out...

    This is why women should not take men shopping against their will:

    After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband
    accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.

    Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men, he found shopping boring and
    preferred to get in and get out.

    Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women, she loved to
    browse.

    One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.


    Dear Mrs. Fenton,

    Over the past six months, your husband has been causing
    quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may
    be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against
    Mr.Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video
    surveillance cameras.

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
    people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2 July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at five-minute
    intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
    women's restroom.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
    voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on
    layaway.

    6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

    7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
    told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
    blankets from the bedding department.

    8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
    and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

    9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
    mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
    the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
    the " Mission Impossible" theme.

    12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look"
    by using different sizes of funnels.

    13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
    through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

    14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
    speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE
    VOICES AGAIN!"

    And last, but not least

    15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
    awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

    Regards,
    Wal-Mart


    If you didn't completely piss your pants while reading this, then you need to read it again!

    Tuesday, March 04, 2008

    Just Like Mommy...

    Livie will one day say this to me. And I won't be offended.
    She's currently mastering the art of swearing in the proper context. It's not unusual to hear her say, "Dumbass," or "Holy Shit," lately. I can't imagine where she gets it from.

    Monday, March 03, 2008

    Um, Hello? That's Why I'm An English Teacher...




    Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence



    You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.

    An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.

    You are also good at remembering information and convincing someone of your point of view.

    A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

    You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

    Sunday, March 02, 2008

    The Happiest Children I Know...

    Livie loves taking pictures. She eats it up!


    Jack's ear-to-ear grin makes me smile so much that my face hurts!

    I have never seen such consistently happy children in my life. I am the luckiest Mama ever.

    Saturday, March 01, 2008

    I Want To Frame This...

    It speaks volumes to me.