Comments from the Peanut Gallery

Taking one day at a time...

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  • Sunday, November 30, 2008

    Kids With Gas...

    If that's the case, then Livie will eat for free the rest of her life. For such a pretty thing, that girl can clear out a room in seconds.

    Saturday, November 29, 2008


    My jaw hurts, but I wish it was from eating too much.

    On Thanksgiving evening, Livie jumped up into my jaw four times just to be a stinker when I was trying to put her coat on to go home. Yesterday morning, she did it again at my Mom's...only this time, I believe she dislocated my jaw.

    It hurts like a...well, like a dislocated jaw would. It popped back in, but it's still hurtin'. Motrin is my friend right now. And soft foods, too.

    And what have I learned? My daughter's head is stronger than my jaw. 'Nuff said.

    Friday, November 28, 2008


    I don't know about you, but I'm still hungover from my food coma at my in-laws' yesterday. And I get to do the turkey thing all over again at my Mom's today. I don't know how much more I can take.

    A nap sounded like a good idea the moment I woke up today. If Jack and Liv hadn't wanted to wake up so badly, I could've slept all day long. Yeesh.

    I'm grateful for the short holiday break, but I think I need a whole week to recover from all the food I managed to consume.

    And on that note, let the 24/7 holiday music begin!

    Thursday, November 27, 2008

    Let's All Gain Weight Together Today...

    Wednesday, November 26, 2008

    Plan B...

    I'm going to be starting my holiday weekend a little early today. I have to leave work early so that I can get home in time for Hubby to go to work. Our Nanny has some emergency family issues to attend to, so we're going with our Plan B today. Plan B means Hubby goes to work a little late and I leave work a little early, but we both get paid for working full days. Easy as pie.

    Speaking of pie, I'm hungry already. Tomorrow just can't come soon enough. Tonight, however, I'm making a cranberry pork roast with sweet potatoes in my crock pot. It should be yummy. I'll probably be the only one who eats it, though. Hubby hates pork and the kids are uber-picky lately, so I may just have to eat that whole thing all by myself. By the time I get home from work, the house is going to be smelling like heaven. I love cold-weather foods.

    Wait. Did you hear that? That's my stomach growling. I better stop writing about food or my pants won't fit by the time I'm done with this sentence. Heh.

    Tuesday, November 25, 2008

    Practical Advice...

    If you need an excuse to NOT have to make anything elaborate for family gatherings, just fuck it up the first time. I'd say that's pretty sound advice.

    Monday, November 24, 2008

    Giving Me Grays...

    Devilishly sweet, Jack keeps me grounded.

    Last night, Liv told me she plans on going to college. She's two and a half.

    Sunday, November 23, 2008

    Why We Shouldn't Let Men Take Messages...

    Oh, this is TOO funny NOT to share. Thanks, Blondie, for sending this my way!

    Saturday, November 22, 2008

    Just Make A Decision...

    ...and they're usually driving in front of me. Gah.
    Seriously, people, if you can't make up your mind about where you're going, then get off the fucking road. Indecisive drivers make me want to rear-end them. Is that bad?

    Friday, November 21, 2008

    All In A Day's Work...

    I've been pretty good about keeping up with this. I usually post something everyday anyway, so this is no big deal to me. I'm used to it. Still, it's nice to have the discipline to do something Every. Single. Day. and not get bored. Surprisingly, I've blogged every single day for several years (not always on Blogger), with the exception of the times I was in the hospital birthin' my babies.
    What about you? Are you doing the whole NaBloPoMo thing? I'm not nuts enough (no offense) to do NaNoWriMo, so I'll stick to short posts. 'Cuz that's how I roll.

    Thursday, November 20, 2008

    What A Dickhead...

    Get it? Heh.

    Wednesday, November 19, 2008


    I can't believe Christmas is next month. Every year, it just seems to come up so fast. It's not like I don't know Christmas is coming. Duh; I have kids. Everyone within a five-mile radius can hear what Livie wants for Christmas!

    It's just that I've got to get moving on decorating now. The kids really enjoyed decorating for Halloween, so I'm pretty sure they'll be pumped for holiday decorating. They'll see me busy bringing everything up from the basement and before they know it, it'll be done while they watch in awe.

    And it seems like the second I put it all up, it has to come down again, never to be seen until next year. While we wait all year long for this time of year, it's over before you know it, kind of like a ridiculously expensive wedding.

    So, I think I'm going to get out all the decorations a little early this year. I don't think Livie can take it any longer, all this talk of "we have to decorate soon." And, for some reason, I think Jack and Liv are really going to get into the spirit this year. Perhaps it's because they can actually participate in the decorating this year, which used to be done while they napped. Since they've given up their naps completely, with no sign of those naps ever returning again, they can start kicking in around here. Heh.

    'Tis the season, folks.

    Tuesday, November 18, 2008

    I Am A Freak & I'm Okay With That...

    You Are 5: The Investigator

    You're independent - and a logical analytical thinker.

    You love learning and ideas... and know things no one else does.

    Bored by small talk, you refuse to participate in boring conversations.

    You are open minded. A visionary. You understand the world and may change it.

    At Your Best: You are sharp, inventive, and creative. You have the skills to lead the world.

    At Your Worst: You are reclusive, weird, and a bit paranoid.

    Your Fixation: Greed

    Your Primary Fear: Being useless or incompetent

    Your Primary Desire: Being competent and needed

    Other Number 5's: Bill Gates, John Lennon, Kurt Cobain, Bjork, and Stephen Hawking.

    Monday, November 17, 2008

    No More Baby Fat...

    Did you see those pictures yet? I still can't believe how big they've gotten and how they don't look like little babies anymore. It's like it happened overnight. I know damn well it didn't, but it doesn't make it any less shocking when I look at their photos.

    Jack will be four in February and Liv will be three in April. I still can't find where all that time has gone. This can only mean one thing.

    If they're getting older, so am I. Sigh.

    Sunday, November 16, 2008


    Growing up right before my eyes...

    Just beautiful...

    One of the happiest kids you'll ever see...

    Concentration, Part One

    Concentration, Part Two

    Liv a.k.a. The Hair
    J is For Jack

    More & More Hair

    Must. Keep. Toes. Clean.

    When the hell did they get this big? Where has all that precious time gone? Wow.

    Saturday, November 15, 2008

    A New Leaf...

    This past Wednesday was Report Card Day and I had an astounding number of parents show up to speak to me. It wasn't because I gave a ton of F's, either. Yeah, there were a lot of F's; however, this is eighth grade and I'm responsible for giving five (yeah, five!) grades (reading, writing, listening, speaking, and research ---as if you care). Parents, essentially, want their kids to graduate, so they'll do anything (even show up!) to increase their kid's chances of being able to go to Mexico or Puerto Rico next summer. If those kids are in summer school, then they can kiss their family vacation goodbye. So, it's good they came.

    For the record, I only had one father come in filthy, stinkin' drunk and one mother who wanted to box with me. I handled both equally well, of course. No drama, just logic. It always kills 'em.

    I had 29 parents come see me, which is more than the last six (yes, six!) report card days, combined. I don't know why the turnout was so good, but it sure was a far cry from last year. And I'm glad I wasn't bored to death the entire time. I was able to see a lot of new faces and interact with people I know can help me. Of course, the ones I really needed to see were the ones who didn't show up, but that's how it goes sometimes.

    All in all, it was a very successful Report Card Day. Let's hope this is the start of a good trend.

    Friday, November 14, 2008

    Just Call Me Bette...

    My result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

    You Are a Bette!


    You are a Bette -- "I must be strong"

    Bettes are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

    How to Get Along with Me
    • * Stand up for yourself... and me.
    • * Be confident, strong, and direct.
    • * Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
    • * Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
    • * Give me space to be alone.
    • * Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
    • * I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
    • * When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.
    • What I Like About Being a Bette
    • * being independent and self-reliant
    • * being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
    • * being courageous, straightforward, and honest
    • * getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
    • * supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
    • * upholding just causes

    • What's Hard About Being a Bette
    • * overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to
    • * being restless and impatient with others' incompetence
    • * sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
    • * never forgetting injuries or injustices
    • * putting too much pressure on myself
    • * getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right

    • Bettes as Children Often
    • * are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
    • * are sometimes loners
    • * seize control so they won't be controlled
    • * figure out others' weaknesses
    • * attack verbally or physically when provoked
    • * take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

    • Bettes as Parents

    Thursday, November 13, 2008

    How Wild Is That?...


    My mother-in-law sent this to me. I never, ever would've thought to do this! How many of you know about this technique or have done this before? I am floored and it will now change the way I peel my hard-boiled eggs. I have to try it, at least.

    You have to admit, this is pretty wild.

    Wednesday, November 12, 2008


    Okay, now this is creepy. Great use of Photoshop, but nonetheless, creepy altogether.
    A definite stomach-turner...heh.
    I can't remember where I found this photo, but it was probably in the same place as these from the other day.

    Tuesday, November 11, 2008

    Right Wing Nuts...

    Thanks, Meghann, for sending this doozy my way!

    Dear Red States:

    We Blue States have decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, New Mexico, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all of the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of the Blue States of America. To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

    We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel, Apple and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

    Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. Please be aware that the Blue States of America will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home.

    We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire. With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners), 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech ,Cal, University of Michigan and MIT.

    With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

    Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent say that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

    Peace and love anyway,

    The Blue States.

    Monday, November 10, 2008

    Getting Involved...

    Report Card Day is this Wednesday and I'm hoping that it's nothing like last year. If it is, then it's a sign o' the times I'm not comfortable with.

    And I'll be damned if I don't talk to all of my own kids' teachers when their time comes. Yeah, they'll hate me, but at least they'll know I'm involved.

    As a teacher, you always give the kids whose parents are always up your ass the benefit of the doubt. That's just how it goes. As a parent, you have to make your presence known very clearly and I think it's a critical part of the job of parenthood. I wish all parents felt that way.

    Let's hope for a good turnout on Wednesday.

    Sunday, November 09, 2008

    Caught My Eye...

    While browsing Flickr, several photographs caught my eye.

    Sweet Notes


    Love XOXO


    The Meaning of Photography

    Chocolate Fix
    If these photos appeal to me, what do they say about me?

    Saturday, November 08, 2008

    Say What?...

    Well, Jack is better. No more fever; he mostly broke it on his own, give or take the few times I forced medicine down his gullet. After almost twelve hours of uninterrupted sleep, this boy was back on his feet and this Mama is much happier because of it. When I got home from work yesterday, I asked him if he was feeling better. His response was, "Yeah. It was no big deal."

    This afternoon, I was cutting his fingernails. I asked him to count them while I did them. It keeps him occupied and he loves counting, too. This time, however, he surprised the shit out of me.

    Not only did he count 1-10, like I knew he could (and has been doing for what seems like forever)...he also spelled each number out.

    I don't get it. Livie is two and a half and speaks like an adult. In fact, the other night she asked me if she's going to have really, really, really big boobs when she gets older. Ten seconds after that, she asked me if she was any older yet. Jack is three and a half and is already spelling his numbers. Our dog, Java, walks like Beyonce. Hubby is obsessed with germs. And I ride my broom to work everyday. I'm beginning to think this house is possessed, as are its inhabitants.

    Friday, November 07, 2008


    The boy in this picture looks so carefree and innocent. He's doing what we all wish we could into a pile of leaves taller than ourselves. Oh, to be that free again...
    (Our leaves are wet from all the rain, so this isn't going to happen anytime soon for me.)

    Thursday, November 06, 2008

    Bullets, For Your Pleasure...

    *Tuesday night, Jack was up on and off all night long. He had a fever and just could not sleep. What made matters worse was that he refused to take any medicine at all. No coaxing or cajoling to take chewable children's Tylenol would work. So, I did what I hate doing. I forced the liquid Tylenol into him. You see, Jack has oral issues. He doesn't like certain textures, although sometimes he surprises us and eats something outside his normal range of foods. If only he could take something to reduce that fever. On Wednesday, I crushed up two children's chewable Tylenol tablets and mixed them into one of those Airborne Power Pixie powdered supplement thingies. He ate it up. Unfortunately, that didn't work again. He's too smart for me; once he figures out my tricks, he turns his nose up at them. Gah.

    *I seriously don't know why he had a fever. Yesterday morning, it was 101 in his armpit, so I know it was realistically higher than that. I also suspect his throat is sore because he's not eating much, if anything. Plus, getting him to drink anything is like pulling teeth. So, yesterday I bought stock in pediatric electrolyte drinks and ice pops, with the hope that he'll take advantage of it today. I know he's hungry and thirsty. He'll drink, but only if I bribe him. And I don't want to end up in the ER with a dehydrated child again. He can be very stubborn sometimes. We'll be keeping a very close eye on him. His spirits are good and he's still playing, just at a much, much lower speed than normal. I can count on one hand how many times this boy has had a fever in his lifetime and one of those was at birth. He's just not one to get really sick like that. I'm concerned.

    *Report Card Day is next Wednesday. This school year is going by fast, if you ask me.

    *Just to prove how ridiculous middle schoolers can be, there was a kid running around the school yelling, "There's a nigger in the White House!" Over and over again, frantically. What is this world coming to? I couldn't believe my ears.

    *Just started my final class for my Masters. Got an A in my last one. Yay!

    *Thanksgiving is so close, which means Christmas is just around the corner. I can't wait to decorate for the holidays. It's going to be so much fun!

    *Livie still amazes me each day with her articulate, adult-like speech. I can't believe she's only two and a half. And she's been doing this for a long, long time now. It's such a joy to watch her grow and learn. That girl's a sponge, I tell ya.

    *My car turned 15,000 miles yesterday on the way to work. It's a little over four years old and paid for. That makes me happy.

    *The dog is lying at my feet, snoring like a man.

    On that note, have a great Thursday!

    Wednesday, November 05, 2008


    Now that the best man won, he's going to need a lot of protection from the freaks that'll do anything to get rid of him. I don't envy him, but I sure am glad he won.

    Because I Can...

    I am so glad this election is over. I did my part and am grateful to the women who paved the way for me to be able to cast my ballot. I voted because I can and it's important. Plus, I got to see history be made, regardless of the election's outcome. Wow.

    Tuesday, November 04, 2008

    White Knuckles...

    Today is Election Day. Take advantage of your right to vote. If you don't, you can't complain about who wins, right? Whatever happens, history will be made. And YOU get to see it happen.
    (Steps onto soapbox...) Here are some great reasons why you SHOULD vote for Barack Obama. And here are 101 reasons why you should NOT vote for John McCain. (Steps off soapbox...)

    Okay, that's my spiel. Now, get out there and vote!

    Monday, November 03, 2008

    We Love Peanut Butter In This House...

    November is National Peanut Butter Lovers' Month. In addition to that, here is a list of bizarre November holidays I thought I'd share with you.
    November 1 is . . . . . Plan Your Epitaph Day
    November 2 is . . . . . National Deviled Egg Day
    November 3 is . . . . . Sandwich Day and Housewife's Day
    November 4 is . . . . . Waiting For The Barbarians Day
    November 5 is . . . . . Gunpowder Day
    November 6 is . . . . . Saxophone Day and Marooned Without A Compass Day
    November 7 is . . . . . National Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day
    November 8 is . . . . . Dunce Day
    November 9 is . . . . . Chaos Never Dies Day
    November 10 is . . . . Forget-Me-Not Day
    November 11 is . . . . Air Day
    November 12 is . . . . National Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies Day
    November 13 is . . . . National Indian Pudding Day
    November 14 is . . . . Operation Room Nurse Day
    November 15 is . . . . National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
    November 16 is . . . . Button Day
    November 17 is . . . . Take A Hike Day
    November 18 is . . . . Occult Day
    November 19 is . . . . Have A Bad Day Day
    November 20 is . . . . Absurdity Day
    November 21 is . . . . World Hello Day and False Confessions Day
    November 22 is . . . . Start Your Own Country Day
    November 23 is . . . . National Cashew Day
    November 24 is . . . . Use Even If Seal Is Broken Day
    November 25 is . . . . National Parfait Day
    November 26 is . . . . Shopping Reminder Day
    November 27 is . . . . Pins And Needles Day
    November 28 is . . . . Make Your Own Head Day
    November 29 is . . . . Square Dance Day
    November 30 is . . . . Stay At Home Because You're Well Day
    Hmmm. If that last one wasn't falling on a Sunday this year, I would be taking full advantage of it and calling in sick. Heh.

    Sunday, November 02, 2008

    Eleven Down...

    My eleventh class for my Masters degree has ended. I officially have only one more class to go. I can't believe it. It feels like I just started the program.

    And the kids have grown so much since I started the program. My goodness, Livie had just turned one year old when I enrolled and Jack was a little over two years old. I started in July of 2007. It's hard to believe that time can pass so quickly. Almost a year and a half later, I'm so close to my goal.

    A lot has happened in our family in the last year and a half. Some good, some bad. However, we're still rockin' and rollin'. One more month and my kids have a Mom with a Masters degree. That is very important to me, to give them that. Yeah, sure, the degree is for me, but it's just as much for them. I want them to be proud of me for setting a goal and following through.

    Drive. It's something I've always had. I can't explain it, but I know it's there, in everything I do. It's a part of me and I see it in my kids, as well. Obstacles mean nothing to me or to them. So, I'm going to be happy that I'm thisclose to earning that degree; sticking with it during the hardest time in my life; taking a midterm while miscarrying and acing the fucker; staying up late to do homework after the kids went to bed; not allowing myself to fall apart when it was the easiest thing I could've done; for following through on my promise to myself and my kids.

    It's so close, I can taste it. December 19th is the last day of my last class and I will be celebrating my accomplishment. It's the best Christmas present I could ever give myself and my family.

    Saturday, November 01, 2008


    The other day, I put up this post at Chicago Moms Blog. It's worth your time to read because you just might feel the same way I do, especially if you're a mother.