Comments from the Peanut Gallery

Taking one day at a time...

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  • Wednesday, September 30, 2009

    809, 284, & 876...

    New Area Code - PLEASE READ Be sure you read this and pass it on.

    I checked it out with AT&T and snopes - it's true. Please read all of this. It was emailed to me yesterday.

    "809 Area Code
    We actually received a call last week from the 809 area code.. The woman said 'Hey, this is Karen . Sorry I missed you--get back to us quickly. I have something important to tell you.' Then she repeated a phone number beginning with 809. We did not respond. Then this week, we received the following e-mail:

    Do Not DIAL AREA CODE 809, 284, AND 876!


    This one is being distributed all over the US ... This is pretty scary, especially given the way they try to get you to call.

    Be sure you read this and pass it on.

    They get you to call by telling you that it is information about a family member who has been ill or to tell you someone has been arrested, died, or to let you know you have won a wonderful prize, etc..

    In each case, you are told to call the 809 number right away. Since there are so many new area codes these days, people unknowingly return these calls.

    If you call from the U.S. , you will apparently be charged $2,425 per-minute.

    Or, you'll get a long recorded message. The point is, they will try to keep you on the phone as long as possible to increase the charges. WHY IT WORKS:

    The 809 area code is located in the Dominican Republic ..
    The charges afterward can become a real nightmare. That's because you did actually make the call.. If you complain, both your local phone company and your long distance carrier will not want to get involved and will most likely tell you that they are simply providing the billing for the foreign company. You'll end up dealing with a foreign company that argues they have done nothing wrong."

    Please forward this entire message to your friends, family and colleagues to help them become aware of this scam.



    Tuesday, September 29, 2009

    If You Can Read This...

    fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

    Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

    i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

    Um, I still think spelling is important.

    Monday, September 28, 2009

    Today's Agenda...

    1. Take kids to school

    2. Weekly nonstress test at 11am

    3. Weekly OB appointment at 12:45pm

    4. Scream at the top of my lungs because these babies aren't out yet and I'm unbelievably done being pregnant

    Yeah, I know you're sick of hearing it. Tough shit.

    Sunday, September 27, 2009

    35 Weeks...

    Yeah...this just about says it all for me right now.

    Saturday, September 26, 2009

    Sixty Percent...

    I'm 35 weeks pregnant tomorrow. Sixty percent of twins arrive at 36 weeks. Gee...what are my odds?

    Every time I see my OB, he seems to add another week to my expectations of when the twins will arrive. He's driving me insane! He knows that I would love nothing more than to have them out....oh,...yesterday, as soon as possible, right now, etc. I will NOT wait until 39 weeks! In fact, I will do everything I can to make sure I don't go that far. I can only take so much, you know. And this is it for me.

    The majority of women don't know how hard it is to carry twins. Anyone who has ever been pregnant with one child knows the discomfort of the last few weeks of pregnancy. With twins, you can quadruple that discomfort, not double it. It's harder than any mother of a singleton can possibly fathom. Yeesh. In all the literature I've read about twin pregnancies (and believe me, I've read A LOT), no one ever touches on how difficult the last few weeks are to endure. It's no picnic. Trust me. Maybe I should write a book about that!

    I have a feeling that when these girls are born, I'm going to look at them in disbelief that my body could have possibly carried them. I'm at the point now that when they move around, I can tell how big their heads actually are. It's crazy! And I can feel the top one "practicing" her breathing. It's surreal, really. While I know I will miss the feeling of being pregnant, I will NOT miss the discomfort that this last month has given me physically, emotionally, psychologically.

    And every time I meet a mother pregnant with twins, I'm going to tell her that the last month is pure hell. Why would I do such a thing? The answer is simple. No one ever told me. Even if someone had told me, I probably wouldn't have believed them, but I never got that chance to guffaw at their claims. I'm certainly not ungrateful for this pregnancy; I'm just completely knocked off my square and have nothing but admiration for anyone who has ever been in my shoes. It's been quite a lesson in humility for me.

    A twin pregnancy, as beautiful and miraculous as it is, is pure hell and agony in the last month. Don't ever let anyone tell you any different.

    I can't wait to meet my girls. Just looking at them will be all the birth control I'll ever need. Heh.

    Friday, September 25, 2009

    Nature's Way...

    Last week, we all caught a cold. The kids had only been in preschool a short time, but had already caught their first of many viruses to come. And I think they each caught a different cold, not the same one.

    This week, we're all sick AGAIN! I'm trying so hard not to cough because I don't want to bring on contractions. I have a weight, urine, and blood pressure check at my OB tomorrow, to make sure there's no preeclampsia. I have sat on my ass with my feet up for three days, praying to not retain any water. Right now, my feet and ankles look so good I could probably put on heels and go dancing. Ha!

    I just need to get rid of this fucking cold. It's not good at all and I feel like a truck hit me. I can't sleep because I can't breathe at all. And now that it's settled in my chest (from all this lying around), I feel even worse. And I don't want to bring newborns into a sick house anytime soon. So, we all need to get better... FAST! Is this nature's way of making me keep these babies inside for longer?!


    Thursday, September 24, 2009

    Saying Goodbye...

    This pregnancy has been a bittersweet experience for me. On one hand, I am at my happiest and healthiest when I am pregnant. I truly love the miracle that takes place inside my body and I'm reminded of that with every kick and hiccup. It's the most important and the most amazing thing I could ever do as a human being and I am more than grateful that I've been able to do this. On the other hand, I also know it's my last time around this racetrack. I do not think my body could ever handle another pregnancy. With this current pregnancy being twins, I think my body is closing up shop when this is over. I am having a hard time getting through this last month as it is and can't imagine doing this ever again.

    I have to say goodbye to this pregnancy, like I did with my others. And I have to say goodbye to ever being pregnant again, even though each one I've had has been the best time in my life, even last year's miscarriage (before I miscarried, of course). There's something about being pregnant that puts a spring in my step and gives me a purpose. I know that everyone can't do it and I am grateful that I can. It's just going to be very hard to say goodbye to the whole process, the miracle I can create, the hands and feet that I make inside my own body, the baby (in this case, babies) that grows from me and because of me. This is not easy for me to do. And I know I'm getting closer to giving birth when I start to feel this way.

    No one ever tells you when you get pregnant how much you'll miss the physical part of it (the kicks, the hiccups, the movements, etc.). I had a hard time saying goodbye to my pregnancy with Jack. I missed being pregnant so much, almost feeling robbed. Not only did his birth not go how I'd planned it to go, I also didn't realize that I would miss the feeling of being pregnant. With Livie, she was born a month early and I had a hard time saying goodbye to that pregnancy because it was over too soon. I was not shocked when I developed postpartum depression after I had her. This time, I need to say goodbye not only to my pregnancy, but also to the thought of having anymore children. It's bittersweet for me, probably nature's way of telling me it's time to stop. After all, I can't just keep having children until I die. I never, ever thought I'd have twins in the first place! Four kids is enough for me.

    Not only is this my last pregnancy, it's also the one that has kicked my ass completely and knocked me waaaaaay off my square. Only other moms of multiples could understand this. There is nothing easy about carrying twins. It's NOT the same as carrying a singleton. Nothing about it is the same at all, in any way. It's the hardest work my body has ever done. And I'm anxious to get it over with. I'm more than uncomfortable. I'm a mess. I can't breathe, can't walk, can't sleep, can't eat too much at once, can't do anything that requires me to be quick, etc.; the heartburn, the sciatica, the pure fatigue, the inability to do what I used to be able to do without blinking, etc. Nothing about carrying twins is easy. I'm growing two babies. TWO. And no one ever told me that this last month would make me want to curl up and die in a corner. Yeah, it's that rough. My ass, folks, has officially been kicked.

    So, as much as I love being pregnant (through the difficult and the easy parts alike), I'm trying to find a way to say goodbye to it before it's over. I don't need suggestions on how to do it; only I will know the best way to do it and it can only be something I come up with that I can do silently and alone. It's my thing. I need the closure because it's good for me. I know that once I have done that in my own way, I can be ready to release these babies into the world, knowing that I've closed the most important chapter in my life's book.

    Wednesday, September 23, 2009

    I Wonder How Many Other States Do This...

    Beginning this month, the State of Illinois is offering a new service connected to your driver's license. You can click on the link below and add two emergency contacts to your license data. Therefore, if you are incapacitated in some way, your license can be scanned and the emergency contacts retrieved so your loved ones can be contacted.

    It only takes two minutes to complete.

    Tuesday, September 22, 2009

    Somebody's Watching Me...

    I'm being watched for preeclampsia now. My feet and ankles have become pretty swollen in the last week. Yesterday morning, I woke up and my face looked a bit puffy. Isn't that how ALL pregnant women look in their last month? I had a great nonstress test yesterday morning, textbook perfect...AGAIN, for the third time. However, my OB is concerned about a 4lb. weight gain I had in the last week combined with the swelling in my feet and ankles. However, there's no protein in my urine and my blood pressure is 110/60, like it always is.

    So, now I'm REALLY being watched. I'm 34 weeks along with twins. I'm hoping to evict them in two weeks. I'll have to see my OB again this Friday for weight, urine, and blood pressure checks. Another NST scheduled for next Monday, followed by a visit to my OB for my weekly appointment. Living at the hospital is quite fun...NOT.

    I just might have to be on "absolute bedrest" soon, just to keep the babies cooking a little longer in there. However, this would really, really throw a wrench into everything. Not good. The kids will still have to get to and from school. They'll still have to be watched during the day after they come home. Meals will still have to be made for them. Laundry, dishes, everyday cleanup, etc. The list could go on and on. And how the hell am I supposed to do any of it on absolute bedrest?

    This is ridiculous. I know the only real cure for preeclampsia is delivery of the babies. Now THAT would be nice. The majority of babies born at 34-35 weeks go on to be just fine. Look at me...I was born prematurely 37 years ago, before all this high-tech stuff...and I am fine. Why can't they just take the twins out now and save me from all this discomfort? Going back and forth to the hospital while I'm supposed to be on "bedrest" is counterproductive, don't you think? Admitting me? Um, yeah, that's not an option because I'll walk out unless they're delivering these babies right then and there. I simply don't have the time to sit around doing nothing in a hospital while my kids at home miss me as they're adjusting to going to preschool. It's just not a good time for me to be hospitalized; I still have a family to take care of.

    I wonder if my OB knows something that I don't know. He wants to see me twice a week now. I had a strange feeling at yesterday's NST because my OB came and read it personally. He never does that. Something must be up. He keeps insisting I could go another 3,4,5 weeks and I keep telling him to put down his crackpipe because that ain't happening; that I'm perfectly happy getting to 36 weeks and not having to go beyond that. I just get this funny feeling that he's watching me so closely because he knows my body well; he delivered Jack and Liv, after all. Perhaps he's aware of something that he's not sharing with me. Perhaps this weekend, I'll have twin babies in my arms. I don't know. I just get this funny feeling. Both my husband and my mother were pretty insistent that they believe this weekend is "it." And that guesstimation was made weeks ago.

    I'm just too damn tired of it all already. Enough is enough. My body cannot do this any longer. Does anyone out there have a Do-It-Yourself C-Section kit?

    Monday, September 21, 2009

    34 Weeks: No Room At The Inn...

    Weight gained, so far: 35 pounds
    It's amazing what the female body can do, isn't it?
    I am all babies and boobs, but no butt. However, if you think that carrying twins is anywhere near easy, I'd have to shove a blowtorch up your ass. It's actually twice as hard as carrying just one.
    Nonstress test at 9am today; OB appointment at 12:45pm.
    Nesting, of course, afterward...again.
    I figured I'd post a picture now because I have no idea when these babies are going to decide to fly the coop. Plus, I want to remember this and use it as birth control in the future. You think I'm kidding.

    Sunday, September 20, 2009

    Comic Relief...

    My Sister passed these along to me and they're just too cute (and true) to NOT post. Enjoy!

    Q: Why do little boys whine?
    A: They are practicing to be
    Q: What do you
    call a handcuffed man?
    A: Trustworthy.
    Q: What does it
    mean when a man is in your bed gasping
    for breath and calling your name?
    A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
    Q: Why do men whistle when they
    are sitting on the toilet?
    A: It helps them remember which end to wipe.

    Saturday, September 19, 2009

    I'm Betting It All On 36...

    This weekend, we're nesting...again. We have kid and baby clothes to move around, pack away, etc. There is manual labor to be done around the house in preparation for the babies. All kinds of important stuff, too long to list here.

    So, nesting we are. Hubby doesn't have to go back to work until Tuesday, so I'll be keeping the poor guy busy with all the stuff I can't do anymore.

    Secretly, I'm hoping they arrive in two weeks. While I love the miracle taking place in my body, I'm just plain sick of it now. I've hit my limit, really. There are triplets in Livie's class who were born at 31 weeks and they don't look or seem fucked up. I'm 34 weeks along tomorrow, so I think that even if the twins were born tomorrow, they'd be just fine.

    Two weeks. I'm hoping that 36 is my magic number. Any longer than that and I think I just might do the damn C-section myself. With a rusty spoon, of course.

    Friday, September 18, 2009

    Nesting, Part 3,486...

    Today, my Hubby is going to be painting the concrete portion of our fence. Months ago, stupid juvenile delinquents walked down the street with a can of purple spray paint and vandalized a bunch of garages, etc. Our red concrete fence was one of their targets.

    Yes, I said months ago. And we've done nothing about it. So, the other day, I mentioned how I wanted the fence repainted before the babies arrive because there wouldn't be any time to do it once they were here. Plus, it's nice outside and I wanted it done before the autumn rains make it impossible to do. So, we went and picked out a color and he's going to do it today. I can't wait to see it once it's done.

    When I told Livie that Papa was going to paint the fence a different shade of red (Posh Red by Valspar), she argued that she wanted it to be pink. I told her that when she grows up and gets a house of her own, she can feel free to paint her own fence pink. I could see the wheels of her mind turning after that. She just cracks me up sometimes.

    The day I have a pink fence is the day hell freezes over.

    Thursday, September 17, 2009

    Just A Mom?...

    A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office, was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.

    She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

    "What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job or are you just a .......?"

    "Of course I have a job," snapped the woman. "I'm a Mom."

    "We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically.

    I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."

    "What is your occupation?" she probed.

    What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."

    The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right.

    I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

    "Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"

    Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."

    There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

    As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom." Motherhood!

    What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door.

    Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations" and great grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates?" I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants."

    May your troubles be less, your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door!

    Wednesday, September 16, 2009

    The Horror...

    Okay. This pregnancy is just downright painful right now. The skin on my abdomen hurts so much now that I just want to cry. I foresee stretch marks any day now. I am just stretched to the max with these twins. At 33 weeks, I'm already measuring 40 weeks. And just hurts all over.

    I've given up on sleep already. And I've given up on ever getting comfortable in any position until after these twins are born. I've given up on the constant hip pain and the pain in my feet. Now, I'm dealing with the pain from my skin! Ugh. I've tried an elastic belly band, but it made me see stars. Once I took it off, the stars and floaties went away. I figured it wasn't a good idea to wear one of those if it made me see things that weren't really there.

    Maybe if I had absolutely NOTHING else to do with my time, it all wouldn't be so bad because I could just lie around, eating, watching TV, napping, etc. However, that is NOT how my life is. I still have to run around after a 4yo and a 3yo, maintain a house, and keep everyone in it alive until bedtime. People think I'm crazy for putting my kids to bed at 7pm, but it's the only way I can retain my sanity and get some relaxation in before I go to bed.

    Oh, the pain in my skin...I think I'm going to die. Please, babies, please...make your grand entrance soon. Mama can't take much more.

    Tuesday, September 15, 2009

    Something For Me To Keep In Mind...

    Since I will be having another C-section in the near future, I was intrigued by this article. It makes perfect sense to me, really. And I'll have to keep it in mind when I go in for surgery, especially since this particular hospital "forgot" to give me stool softeners after I had Livie. Oh, that was NOT pleasant. I shit you not. Pun intended.

    Chewing Gum after C-section Speeds Recovery

    The Scoop: For some moms recovering after a cesarean section (C-section), chewing gum could significantly reduce the time it takes for intestinal function to return to normal, according to new research published in British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology. The study, conducted by scientists at Cairo's Ain Shams University, included 200 women who delivered by C-section under general anesthesia. Half of the moms started chewing sugarless gum two hours after the procedure (one stick for 15 minutes, every two hours), while the rest were given standard care only. Researchers found that women in the gum-chewing group were quicker to regain normal bowel activity—on average, they had their first bowel movement 21 hours after C-section, versus 30 hours in the standard-care group.

    For Mom: Intestinal function can become sluggish for a time after C-section, leading to gas and constipation—as it can with any kind of abdominal surgery. Gum may help because the act of chewing triggers a response in the nervous system and the release of certain digestive hormones known to stimulate bowel activity. What remains unclear, according to researchers, is whether gum chewing is still effective when regional anesthesia (such as an epidural or spinal block) is administered. Regional anesthesia, which is far more common than general anesthesia during C-section, may interfere with the nervous system's response to any kind of chewing.


    Monday, September 14, 2009

    Not Cool...

    Um, hey, are you going to explain THIS? Are you fucking kidding me? This could totally be some photoshopped shit, if you ask me. By doing a Google search on "white people stole my car," links come up about a "virus" with that name. Somehow though, I think this picture was, at one time, correctly captured and now Google is trying to save its ass by sending anyone who searches this particular phrase to sites that talk about the "virus" connected to it.
    Shame on you, Google. It's too late. Someone already caught you. Tsk, tsk.

    Sunday, September 13, 2009

    My Main Squeeze...

    To my wonderful Husband...I hope your day is a special one filled with love and all things good. Welcome to your late thirties! Heh.
    We love you so much!

    Saturday, September 12, 2009

    A Really BIG Milestone...

    Jack and Liv LOVE going to school. They really don't even care that my husband and I aren't with them. What surprises me more is that they don't even mind being without each other. They absolutely LOVE going to preschool. And the school is fabulous, as are their teachers. I could not be happier.

    We spent all summer preparing them for school. It has paid off. While a part of me wishes that it was my kid doing the screaming for Mama, I'm so glad it wasn't. Jack and Liv can adjust to any situation because that's just part of who they are. Change is good and they know that.

    They love school. And they're okay without us. They get to venture off into the world together, but separately. And they know we'll all always come back together. Wow. My babies are growing up.

    It's a helluva milestone for all of us.

    Friday, September 11, 2009

    The Gun In My Mouth Blues...

    I know my ticker says I have 51 days left in this pregnancy. I will tell you right now that if I have to go another 51 days (November 1st) wearing what feels like two cases of pop straight out in front of me while chasing around a 3yo and a 4yo, I. AM. GOING. TO. DIE.

    I. CAN'T. STAND. THIS. ANY. LONGER. If I knew what I was doing, I'd cut them out myself. Ugh. Don't even pretend you understand.

    Carry on as you were. No need to leave any preachy comments, either. I will delete them. As far as I'm concerned, I'm entitled to these feelings and this post is not meant as a cry for unwanted advice. A simple, virtual hug will suffice.

    I'm done. I'm so fucking done. And now I will cry. Again.

    Thursday, September 10, 2009

    Doing Well...

    Yesterday's nonstress test on the twins went swimmingly well. Both babies are reactive with great heartrates (135bpm and 141bpm). My blood pressure was 113/63. And I believe I only had one contraction during the whole test. I ate two Pop Tarts and drank a can of Coke on the way there in the car just to make sure the babies wouldn't be sleeping, thus keeping me there in testing for hours. Heh. I'll have weekly nonstress tests on Mondays until the babies arrive.

    I see my OB today at noon and he'll probably write orders for another ultrasound. I've also scheduled my doctor visits for every Monday because Hubby has taken the next three Mondays off from work and I won't have to worry about who will get the kids to and from school and watch them while I'm at the hospital. To me, planning is everything. It's too bad I can't plan when these babies will come.

    In other news, the kids are enjoying preschool, so far. It's only been two days, though, and we haven't left their sides yet. Friday will be the day we leave them with their the cruel world. Heh. I'm sure in time they'll be just fine, just like everyone else who was abandoned by their parents to face the harsh environment of the classroom. Hee, hee. Jack is cool with being left on his own there; Livie is the one who is clingy, but she's still only three years old.

    I'm confident in their teachers and happy that this school offers so many things for my kids. We made a very wise decision in choosing this particular school for them. It's free and it's one of the best ones in the system, especially with their Montessori-based philosophy. We're very lucky to live where we do. The Catholic school we were contemplating sending them to has NOTHING compared to this one.

    We're doing well, folks. We're doing well.

    Wednesday, September 09, 2009


    *Jack finally pooped. Yay for everyone! It only took three days of Miralax, two suppositories (one left in overnight), and tons of fiber-rich foods. His ass, however, looks like raw meat. Thank goodness for Desitin.

    *First day of school for the kids was great. I'm very proud of them. I'm too tired to upload any pictures off my camera right now. It'll just have to wait for the time being.

    *I'm just drained. I'm lucky I can still even walk. Everything hurts at this point. I'm glad I'm not at work anymore. Can't sit for too long; can't walk for too long. Can't eat large meals, or even decent-sized meals because there's no room in my abdomen for anything else to fit. Can't sleep; haven't for a looooooong time now...fucking hip pain, fucking bladder. Frankly, I'm miserable.

    *I have my first weekly nonstress test today. With my luck, they'll put me on hospital bedrest, which I absolutely have no time for. I'd rather they just take the babies out. I know it's selfish. I don't care how it sounds.

    *Sorry for the dark post. I'm just too tired to care about writing today and I have way too much on my mind. Sigh...

    Tuesday, September 08, 2009

    My Babies Are Growing Up...

    Yes, we're still waiting for the boy to have a substantial poop. It's not fun around here, you know.

    And today is the first day of school for Jack and Liv. We get to meet their teachers, classrooms, and hopefully some classmates. It stinks that they have two separate times, but it's fine because we live close to the school. Their "first day of school" only lasts a half hour, believe it or not. Tomorrow will be the day they officially stay for 2.5 hours and I've got a nonstress test scheduled, so I don't even know if I can see them off. Sigh. I'm just hoping the hospital doesn't admit me tomorrow. I don't have time for it.

    With any luck, the boy will poop before we have to go to the school. He got a suppository (for children, of course) before he went to bed, so I hope it works at some point. He's the only kid I know that can hold his poop even after numerous interventions (Miralax in his juice, fiber everything to eat, suppositories, warm baths for relaxation, etc.). His poor butt is so sore and raw, I can understand why he just won't go now.

    Hopefully, he can last a half hour today at school without being crabby and surly and all bound up. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

    Monday, September 07, 2009

    Just Go Poo...

    I hate when my son is constipated. He hates to poo to begin with. He will not go in the toilet, so he has to wear a pull-up when he goes. Most of the time he tells us when he needs to go. Lately, though, pooping has been a battle for him...and us.

    He withholds his poop all the time now. I don't know why. He just doesn't want to go. He gets "busy" and then holds it in. By the time he really has to go, he can't because it's all dried out in there and it has turned into a "plug" that's impossible for him to get out. It's a neverending cycle. Nevertheless, pooping hurts him now, so why poop if you know it's going to hurt?

    Perhaps he knows that changes are happening in our lives (the twins' impending arrival, first time in preschool, Mommy's home now, etc.). Maybe this is his way of controlling something in his life. Maybe that's why it's happening more often now. It's just draining on the entire family. We literally have to walk on eggshells around him until he poops and is back in a good mood. When he has to go, he's as surly, unhappy, and whiny as they get. And everyone becomes miserable. Once he goes, though, it's like a heavy blanket has been lifted off of all of us and life can go on as it was before the darkness fell.

    My little control freak...I have no idea where he gets that. *Cough, cough*

    (Sidenote: Apples don't fall far, you know. I, too, had poop issues as a child. I lived on castor oil and suppositories for years. It's not fun. I understand Jack's battle all too well. My poor little guy...I just hope it clicks someday soon...for everyone's benefit.)

    Sunday, September 06, 2009

    The Human Incubator...

    I hate this waiting game. I don't know how I'm going to be able to sit around and wait for these babies to come. While I know it's good for them to be inside, gather more fat, and prepare their lungs, I also know that I'm so tired of wearing them. They're heavy. Unless you've had twins, you just don't understand how hard this really is. I'm 32 weeks pregnant, but to the trained eye, I look like I'm 40 weeks with just one baby. I have four more weeks of this to go. And, YES, they WILL be coming out at 36 weeks because I don't want to carry them beyond that point. My doctor considers 36 weeks full-term for my twins, especially given the history of my past deliveries. So, that's that. If you ask me to keep them in one week more than that, I'll have to put your eyes out...with a rusty butter knife.

    Yes, I should be grateful to have been given this beautiful chance at pregnancy again. And I am. I'm just bone-deep tired now and anxious to meet the babies I've grown inside me. The sooner, the better...for me...maybe not for them, but I'm ready. Stick a fork in me.

    I don't sleep well. I can't eat too much at once. I want a huge meal like you wouldn't believe. I'm constipated. I'm achy all over. And my belly is itchy. I just want my body back again. I want to lie on my stomach and bend at the waist. I forgot how much I miss my waist! And I want to shave my legs in less than five minutes, NOT the fifteen it takes me now.

    The last month of pregnancy is possibly the worst time ever. I hate the waiting and I hate the uncertainty. While I love being pregnant and feeling all the babies' movements, I honestly just want this to be over so that I can be "me" again. I miss me. Right now, I'm a human incubator, which is a wonderful thing to be. However, the last month of this is killing me.

    I'm so glad I don't have to go into work, but I can't help but feel like these babies should be here by now. I don't want to get any bigger than I already am, nor can I imagine getting any bigger. Believe me, I'm grateful for this pregnancy, but I am so tired of it now.

    Tired. Emotional. Mentally Done. That's me right now.

    Saturday, September 05, 2009

    Wishful Thinking...

    Okay, so now I'm officially on maternity leave until 2/1/10. I'm in limbo, waiting for these babies to arrive. Jack and Liv will start preschool next week, so it'll give me 2.5 hours a day to do absolutely nothing but relax without having to run around playing mediator, cleaning up spills, putting one or the other on the potty, etc.

    I can think of a million things I could do, but I just might nap. NAP?! What the hell is THAT?! I'm not saying I will, but I sure could do it without interruption, now couldn't I? It would be short by my standards, but it would be something.

    While I will miss them terribly and it will take some time getting used to (for all of us), it's the prospect of actually napping again that makes me almost wish that preschool was for six hours. Heh.

    Friday, September 04, 2009

    Girlie Wisdom...

    1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills… she has 14 kids but doesn't really care…

    2. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

    3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

    4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

    5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

    6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

    7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

    8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

    9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers.

    10. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

    11. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' .....Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

    12. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

    13. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

    Thursday, September 03, 2009

    Well, That Sucks...

    I had written a post to be published this morning at 6 a.m. However, somehow it disappeared. That pisses me off!

    Oh, well. I'm sitting in a meeting right now. Only four hours of work to go today. All is well, so far. One more day of work and then my maternity leave starts. Yay!

    Life is about to get very chaotic!

    Wednesday, September 02, 2009

    Back At Work...

    I'm back at work now, but it's only for the rest of this week. Three days! At 2:45pm on Friday, my maternity leave will officially begin. I will not have to see any students until February 1st of next year.

    Wow! I'm going to be the mother of FOUR children soon. Let the real work and the real chaos begin!

    Tuesday, September 01, 2009


    I can't believe it's September 1st already. Where the hell did summer go?

    I'm actually going in to work tomorrow, Thursday, and Friday. After that, I'm on maternity leave. Amen! I'll do what I can during those three days, but I'm not going to knock myself out preparing my classroom for someone who's taking over while I'm gone. I'll do it when I get back in February. Heh.

    I start my weekly nonstress tests next Wednesday. Hopefully, all will go well for the babies and me. Keep your fingers crossed. I'll be practically living at my doctor's office and the labor/delivery unit for the next month because I'll be seeing them so much! I knew it would be like this from the get-go. It just snuck up on me...just like September 1st. Seriously, where did all the time go? Before I know it, I'll have four children needing my undivided attention. Yikes!

    Time goes by faster and faster the older I get.