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Taking one day at a time...

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  • Sunday, October 31, 2010

    I Love The Smell Of Pumpkin...

    Happy Halloween! I hope you have a safe one.

    Saturday, October 30, 2010

    Boo!...

    Years ago, before I had kids, I would've been gearing up for a weekend filled with costume parties, booze, and late nights. Now that I'm a Mama, all that "fun" has been replaced by another kind of fun to me. I get to be excited for my kids who are so excited about Halloween. It's like reliving my childhood all over again, but through their eyes. And they all have such beautiful, innocent eyes.

    Halloween IS my favorite holiday, after all. And I think my kids are thinking the same thing. I have a feeling that every meal this weekend is going to consist of candy...and I'm NOT going to stop them. It only happens once a year, you know.

    Have a ghoulish weekend, folks!

    Friday, October 29, 2010

    Busy, Busy, Busy...

    We have so much to do this weekend. Jack and Liv are in costume have Halloween parties at school today. We have a Halloween party to go to with them on Saturday near my Mom's. And Sunday is THE day when we can all go trick-or-treating together and get insane amounts of candy because we have FOUR children in costumes. Yay for us!

    The doorbell will be ringing nonstop on Sunday, which means the dog is going to go crazy and the babies probably won't nap well. I can't eat any of the candy because I'm still healing from my oral surgery this past Monday. My mouth can't decide if it wants to hurt or itch right now. I'll be partially healed just in time to have it all done again to the other side next weekend. Ugh. Liquid meals are becoming en vogue around here.

    I'm glad it's Friday. I'm glad I'm not in excruciating pain from my tooth extraction. However, I know that the pain is coming again in the near future. This weekend will be a nice break from the pain I've been having and I get to take all my munchkins out and about to get as much candy as humanly possible. It's going to be a great weekend. I just hope I don't get tempted by any Bit-O-Honeys. Heh.

    Thursday, October 28, 2010

    Putting Things In Perspective...

    I came home yesterday after work and saw a fire truck and cops all over my house, blocking the street and parking in my driveway. I freaked out. All I could think of was that something happened to the kids or Hubby and I was like a deer in headlights as I made my way to my house. I had to park down the street because they weren't letting anyone through. All I could think of was my kids...my kids...my kids...

    Everyone was fine in my house, but the house across the street suffered some major damage from the strong winds we were having. Their whole roof and chimney came off, landing all over the place. Hubby was outside talking to the cops while Livie watched the babies inside. He had seen the whole thing happen. Jack had just come home from school and was vegging out in the spare room. The kids had no idea there was a hullaballoo outside.

    I, on the other hand, took some time to settle down, realizing that everyone in my home was, in fact, just fine. The damage to the houses across the street, however, was unbelievable.

    After a difficult day at work and trying to recover from oral surgery, this certainly put everything in perspective for me. Yeesh.

    Wednesday, October 27, 2010

    Sore...

    I took yesterday off from work to recover from my oral surgery. Boy, did I need it! I'm still very sore, but I'm taking my meds and my antibiotics religiously. Woozy has never felt so good. Everything just plain hurts, though. Ugh. And eating is a chore. I can't chew, so I'm just drinking my foods...very, very slowly, followed by lots of rinsing. Fun stuff, I tell ya.

    I'm not looking forward to going back there for the second extraction. I know it has to be done, but I'm not happy about it at all. And I can look forward to this liquid diet for about a month. Yeesh.

    I think I'm going to plunk down the cash for the sedation next time. I just don't want to remember any of this again. I'm trying to weigh the pros and cons of it. Sedation will make me puke, but I won't be lucid through the extraction, nor will the sounds of it bother me. However, instead of paying just a mere $25 for the extraction of the next tooth while being completely traumatized by the whole process, it'll be $550. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

    Why can't it just be easy?

    Tuesday, October 26, 2010

    Fucking Awful...

    I had one tooth pulled yesterday, so I have to go back and get the other one done. I would've liked to have gotten both done at once, but the oral surgeon says it's too traumatic for me. That makes no sense to me, though. If it's too traumatic for me, why make me go through it twice? Nevertheless, I'm not happy about it. If you ask me, I think it was too traumatic for him to deal with a nervous patient like me.

    I can't afford the IV sedation, plus it gets me sick anyway. I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and do it all over again. I hate the sounds of the cracking and the drilling and the pressure. They really can't numb me enough. I'm one of those people who require massive amounts of novocaine, but I still feel some pain anyway. It's awful.

    I've never had a tooth pulled without being put out until yesterday. Now I know why I always choose to be put out. It's exhausting for me mentally and emotionally.

    So, I have to go back next week. I'm not looking forward to it, but I want to be able to eat again someday soon. Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life.

    Monday, October 25, 2010

    Yank...

    I'm making an appointment to see an oral surgeon today. Hopefully, I can get in today after work or tomorrow. It's got to be done as soon as possible. I need these two broken teeth yanked out. I don't know how I'll ever chew again, since they're both on the bottom and on opposite sides. I'm hoping they don't decide to take out the impacted wisdom teeth, too. Seriously, two extractions at once is probably enough. Six would be suicide. I hope they let me come back in the summer to do the wisdom teeth, when I don't have to worry about going to work.

    Right now, I have two gaping holes in my mouth and I'm not comfortable with that. And, frankly, it's pretty painful right now. Cross your fingers that the only pain I feel later on today is not from a broken tooth and a broken root canal, but only from the places where those teeth are missing.

    Liquid diet for me, for who knows how long.

    Sunday, October 24, 2010

    Dental Debacles...

    Okay. This is getting to be too much already. First, it was my painful broken molar that my asshole dentist decided he wasn't going to pull, sending me on a wild goose chase to find an oral surgeon who would take it out AND the impacted wisdom tooth behind it. Now, I have another issue.

    Last night at dinner, an old root canal decided to come out. Yes, it came OUT, filling AND post that was supposedly screwed INTO MY JAW. Now I have TWO gaping holes in my mouth that I need to do something about...immediately.

    There is no pain and I'm still on antibiotics from the bad molar. This gaping hole on the other side, however, is freaking me out. I literally cannot chew any food at all. I'm scared I'll get food caught in either side, so I'll be drinking my meals from now on. I hope to get in to see an oral surgeon, out-of-pocket or not, early in the week. So, I better get used to liquid meals. I'm going to be on them for quite a while, especially if I'm getting two leftover molars and four impacted wisdom teeth pulled. Fuck!

    This is what having four children in five years will do to your teeth. Heed that warning.

    Saturday, October 23, 2010

    Hitting A Nerve...

    Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can't look that old?

    Well...you'll love this joke my mother-in-law sent to me. I guess it hits a nerve (no pun intended) with me because of my recent experiences with my dentist, plus the fact that I'm a teacher. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I read it.

    MY NAME IS ALICE AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.

    I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.

    COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

    UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

    THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.

    AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL .

    'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

    WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.

    HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?'

    YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.

    HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

    THEN,

    THAT UGLY,

    OLD,

    BALDING,

    WRINKLED FACED,

    FAT-ASSED,

    GRAY-HAIRED,

    DECREPIT

    S-O-B

    ASKED,

    "WHAT DID YOU TEACH?"

    Friday, October 22, 2010

    Coincidence?...

    Jack and Liv have the day off today. It's probably a good thing for Jack because he's coming down with something. I should've known when I looked at his behavior sheet that noted he had a third good day in a row. And great behavior on the bus, too!

    Yeah, three good days in a row for Jack only means one thing around here...he's sick.

    Jack actually took a nap after he came home from school yesterday. I gave him Tylenol because he kept saying that his neck hurt. He didn't have a fever, though. I'm hoping it was just a muscle strain and not anything worse. Poor guy.

    I can only hope that he can keep up that good behavior at school after his long weekend. Yeesh.

    Thursday, October 21, 2010

    Kid Updates...

    *Jack is doing better at school the past couple of days. He's been behaving, which is a total change from most days. I've been rewarding him at home with special extra large coloring pages from an Eric Carle coloring book and he also gets M&M's after dinner is he's had a good day at school. This seems to be working. It also helps to have his favorite music on in the house nonstop. I think he may have made some sort of critical connection between good behavior and rewards at home. I'm crossing my fingers. I've also found out during homework time at home that he writes equally well with both hands. His grasp is better on the right hand, but he can use either hand. Quite amazing, actually!

    *Liv is loving school. She's such a natural-born leader. She's inventive, creative, and dramatic. This we already knew. She's thriving, really. And she's begging me to give her homework. She's finished two workbooks already! She wants to be a "real" student (her words) and get real homework, so we've obliged. She loves it now, but will probably hate it in ten years. Heh. That kid kills me sometimes.

    *Liesl is figuring out that her voice can, indeed, make words. She can say, "no," and "uh-oh," so far. I'm not surprised that her first word was, "no." She's like a miniature Liv. OMG. What will I do with TWO of them! In one house! Liesl likes to eat anything and everything and she's very, very neat about it. She likes to jump up and down in her crib, but does not want to walk yet. That's fine with me. It won't be much longer before she's not army crawling around anymore. I call her Lieutenant Dann (from "Forrest Gump") because she crawls around on her forearms like she has no legs. She goes back and forth between the army crawling and the regular crawling. She's pretty fast, too. And, I swear, she understands everything she sees on TV, just like Liv did.

    *Leia wants to eat anything we eat. She's sick of pureed stuff, except for fruit. She wants grilled cheese sandwiches, toast with butter, any kind of pasta, etc. You name it; this girl wants to eat it. She loves food and she'll scream her head off if you don't give her what you are eating. If you want to grab a snack, you have to hide in the bathroom to eat it because you know damn well she's going to be at your feet before you even put it to your lips. She's getting braver about taking those first unassisted steps. She wants to go, go, go, but she is hesitant because there's no turning back once she does. I'd love to keep her a baby forever, but she is so wiggly and squirmy. She just wants to keep moving all the time. She has this nasty habit of waking up in the middle of the night just to play. So, Hubby always puts her in the playpen in the living room while the rest of us sleep upstairs. She's guarded by Java, so she'll always be safe.

    *Both of the twins are drinking whole milk now. We go through about three gallons a week! And that's just for them! Livie consumes another half gallon, so we buy up to four gallons of milk a week now. It's criminal! I can't believe how much milk we go through. Thank goodness it's cheaper at Target.

    *Java, our vicious guard dog, has been limping on and off for a couple weeks now. We think she has arthritis in one of her back legs. Sometimes she's a complete mess, especially if she's had a lot of physical activity. Yet she immediately has a spring in her step if you tell her, "Clean up!" She knows that one of the kids has dropped some sort of food and she needs to clean it up, so she's more than happy to dance her way into the room. She's also got a regular spot reserved beneath the twins' highchairs. She's loving this.

    That is all, for now. Life is good and I'm grateful. I won't dare ask for it to be better than this right now.

    Wednesday, October 20, 2010

    Some People Should Be Sterilized...

    ...like the woman above. Dumb...just dumb.

    Tuesday, October 19, 2010

    Lazy Larry...

    My dentist is a complete schmuck. He could've easily just extracted my unsalvageable molar, but he refused. Since the wisdom tooth behind it is horizontal, he wants that removed, too. And, of course, he can't do that. I knew he would pull this shit. He always does. It's like I said in the last post, there's no money in a cure because the money is all in the prevention. What a fuckhead! He'll do cleanings, gum scalings, and fillings. Anything more is a bother.

    So, I'm on a wild goose chase looking for an oral surgeon nearby in my network of providers. Not such an easy task. And it's all because this guy did not want to pull out my bad molar, which would've relieved my pain instantly. The wisdom teeth don't even bother me, nor have they ever. He just used that as an excuse to not have to pull the molar. You see, I'm HMO. And if an oral surgeon is going to pull one bad molar and one perfectly fine, albeit crookedly growing, wisdom tooth, then why can't they just pull all the wisdom teeth at once, plus the bad molar? WTF is going on here?

    I clarified it to him, too. I said, "Okay, let me get this straight. YOU could pull out this molar that's giving me so much pain, but you're choosing not to. You see the wisdom tooth behind it growing horizontally, so you want that one pulled, as well. Only you can't pull the wisdom tooth, so I have to see an oral surgeon." He said that was correct. This lazy dickhead just didn't want to pull out my molar because that would take more time than he cared to spend on me. And he doesn't stand to make much money from me because I have a dental HMO.

    The last time I saw him was in May 2008. I was pregnant and had lost the baby shortly thereafter. He caught me off guard and asked me if I'd had a boy or girl. And then it hit me. I knew he wasn't referring to the twins. I'd politely told him that I'd lost the baby after I'd seen him last, but was blessed with twin girls the following year. He made nicey-nice talk, but only because he'd looked at his notes. He doesn't know me from Eve, even though he's been my dentist for over a decade.

    I really wish I could find a nice dentist, someone who cares about teeth and doesn't operate his craft like an assembly line. My husband needs some dental work done, too. He's going to make me the guinea pig at the oral surgeon, though. If I like him/her, he'll go there, too, because our dentist didn't want to do his work, either. Big surprise.

    He sent me home with an Rx for antibiotics and 800mg Motrins. Shit, they didn't even give me 800mg Motrins when I had my three C-sections! Those are niiiiiiiiiiccccceeee. The only problem is that I need to eat to take them. AND I CAN'T EAT BECAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING CHEW! I ate Malt-O-Meal for dinner last night.

    It looks like dental pain and dental surgery is going to be the new weight loss fad.

    Monday, October 18, 2010

    Wishing I Was Numb...

    O. M. G. I have a toothache from hell. It hurts so bad that it woke me up Saturday night/early Sunday morning. It also doesn't help that I've been grinding my teeth at night, too, which has aggravated the situation. I haven't had a toothache this bad in a decade, at least. And I don't want to use a sick day; I'd rather use one to go have fun with my kids, a mental health day, so to speak.

    I'm hoping my dentist can see me today. If not, I think I'm going to go insane from the pain. If I do get to see him, I hope he just pulls the fucking tooth out. There's no point in saving it. Of course, there's no money in a cure; there's only money in prevention, right? What are the odds that he's going to try to save this tooth? Ha!

    I don't want a root canal. He'd have to send me somewhere else for that anyway, which means I have to wait, in pain, for the guy to have an opening. My dentist doesn't do anything that requires real work, you know. He outsources.

    Right now, I'm in so much pain that I'm actually sweating from it. I have no idea how I'm going to be able to go into work and actually teach like this. WTF?!

    Sunday, October 17, 2010

    Falling Leaves...

    Today, we're all going to my Mom's. There are tons of leaves out there that have fallen and I'm going to bring my good camera. I want to take some great pictures of the kids playing in the leaves. It's my favorite time of year.

    Let's hope I get a few winning shots! Fingers crossed.

    Saturday, October 16, 2010

    Gribbit...

    OMG. Please tell me that's not real. I'll never feel the same about bagged salad again after seeing this picture. Ugh.

    Friday, October 15, 2010

    Like A Bike Seat...

    Ahhhh...it's Friday again. And that can't be a bad thing, right?

    I forgot that Livie doesn't have school today. I don't know why, but I know she's off. Jack has school, though. I've been communicating with his teacher, his OT, ST, and SW at his school, so I'm staying abreast of his progress there. And more importantly, they know I'm watching them. I hate to say it, but they all need to know that I'm going to be up their asses like a bike seat or else they'll start slacking. And no one slacks off on my boy. As his mother, I need to do this whether they like it or not. I'm not saying they don't do their jobs; I'm just saying that I need to make sure they do because it's MY child they're dealing with. I know he's not easy. If he was, he just wouldn't be Jack. I'd like to believe we all want what's best for him.

    There are some days when I question whether or not he really IS on the autism spectrum, like yesterday. He was a good boy, for the most part. A few hiccups here and there, but all-in-all he was a pretty good boy. And then there are days when BLAM! it's in your face and there's no doubt he's on the spectrum. That would be the six days prior to yesterday. We take the good with the bad over here and are really, really grateful for good days...even if they are sandwiched by horrendous days.

    So, that's what's going on over here lately. Oh, that and I've had some shit days at work lately...just what I needed, right? That's why I'm so glad it's Friday. I need the rest from at least ONE of my responsibilities because we all know that autism never sleeps.

    Thursday, October 14, 2010

    Tattoo...

    Sometimes I just want to tattoo this on my son...as a reminder for ME.

    Wednesday, October 13, 2010

    Hard...

    I'm being quiet right now. There's nothing good to say except that today is a new day. Hopefully, it will be better than yesterday was. Yesterday was pretty rough.

    Sometimes it's so hard to keep it together. I can't explain any further here because I choose not to do so.

    It has to get better. I don't know, nor do I want to know, how it could get any worse. I just hope I'm not losing my mind. Sigh.

    Tuesday, October 12, 2010

    Dr. Dick...

    So, I had to see my primary doc yesterday to get my Zoloft refilled. He's a new guy I've never met. Since it's the family practice center, they have residents treating the patients and the turnover rate is pretty quick. The guy I had probably meant well, but was arrogant, just like they usually all are. They're students and still haven't quite figured out their people skills. They think they're the shit because they are med students who get to treat patients. That's why I never go in. They don't know what they're doing half the time.

    Instead of making me feel bad about taking an antidepressant, he could've just stopped after he asked the usual barrage of questions. But no. He had to insert his two cents about how he feels about antidepressants, making me feel like a total loser for being on one.

    Hello, dude. You don't know me at all. You don't know that I've spent the last fifteen years on and off meds (only ever off due to back to back to back pregnancies). You don't know, Dr. Dick, that I am one of those people who will probably be on them my whole life. It is my chemical make-up to need them. I'm not coming here asking you for narcotics. I'm coming here to make sure we can keep me on the smallest dosage of my antidepressant, so that I CAN keep my head. I'm not coming here for a lecture. Don't ask me if vigorous exercise helps, unless you're prepared for me to tell your dumb ass to come watch my four kids so I can sweat it out every day. And don't give me an attitude because I told you that. Don't tell me I don't need the meds, especially after you know I am the sole breadwinner and have a 5yo HFA son, a daughter a year younger than him, and twin toddlers who just turned one. Just hand me the script and go back to the comforts of your tanning bed. And you might want to tell your aesthetician to do a better job when she waxes your chest. You have stray hairs. And I know you think you're cool because you're a soon-to-be full-fledged doctor, but I can tell you right now, you don't matter at all. Everyone knows that the NURSES are the ones who do the REAL work.

    That is all.

    Monday, October 11, 2010

    Ahhh...A Day Off...

    Thank you, Christopher Columbus for getting kicked out of Spain for having an affair with Queen Isabella. Your mistake is my gain.

    Ahhh...a day off. I wish I could say I'm relaxing all day in my jammies. That isn't so, unfortunately. Liesl and Leia have their one-year check-up at 10am and I have a 2pm doctor visit. At least the house is sparkling clean and there's nothing I am pressed to do, except for lesson plans. I'll probably knock those out in the waiting room.

    I am glad to have this day off. I get to recuperate from back-to-back birthday parties (one of which was for my girls) and just hang out with my kids. It is absolute heaven...until they start getting on my nerves. Heh.

    Happy Monday, folks!

    Sunday, October 10, 2010

    10-10-10...

    Today is Liesl and Leia's first birthday party! I'm so excited! There's so much to do before our guests arrive. It's going to be a fun time and the weather is going to be perfect.

    Tomorrow, they go for their one-year check-up at the doctor. I can't wait to see how much they weigh now. They sure are chunky babies now and have come a long, long way since they were born. It still feels like they were just born. It certainly doesn't feel like it's been a year.

    Oh, what a busy weekend! Family, fun, and frenzy! Yay!

    Saturday, October 09, 2010

    The Year You Were Born...

    I've received e-mails about the "year of your birth" before; this one is completely different. Give it a try, if you have a little time, and click the link below, this is very thought provoking. Just type in your year of birth and watch! It made me think.

    http://whathappenedinmybirthyear.com/

    Friday, October 08, 2010

    Java Beans...

    Happy 7th Birthday to my beautiful Chocolate Lab, Java! You are a SAINT for putting up with all these kids here and what they do to you on a daily basis. You are an amazing and patient dog. We love you, J.W. Beans!

    Thursday, October 07, 2010

    35 Weeks To Go...

    This is already the 5th week of school. Only 35 more weeks to go. It's like a pregnancy, only you get nothing when it's over. As a teacher, you just collapse after 40 weeks, using the summer to recharge your soul. And you get to start another 40 weeks all over again two months later. Sigh.

    Yeah, I'm counting already. It's only been 5 weeks, but it feels like so much longer. Yeesh. Sooooooo glad this is a 3-day weekend coming up. Between my Teacher Hat and my Mommy Hat, I'm exhausted.

    Wednesday, October 06, 2010

    Housecleaning...

    I seriously need to update my links on my sidebar. I haven't done it in so long. Some of the links are broken; some people aren't blogging anymore; and some blogs have just gone in other directions.

    I need to sit down and take the time to get rid of blogs I barely read anymore and add new ones that I do read now. It just takes time and effort. And after a long day of wearing my Teacher Hat and my Mommy Hat, I just don't have the energy to do it.

    I need to do it soon, though, because I'm tired of looking at the same stuff. I need a change. Hmmm...maybe a new template, too. Ah, now I'm getting in over my head. I think I'll start by cleaning up the links first...

    My work is never done.

    Tuesday, October 05, 2010

    The Only Bell I Ring...

    The Salvation Army is the only charity I ever give to, for personal reasons. They saved my brother's life many years ago and I like to give back as much of that good karma as I can. They are miracle workers.

    I always thought my reasons for having them be the ONLY charity I donate to were good enough, until I read this...

    As you open your pockets for yet another natural disaster, keep these facts in mind:

    Marsha J. Evans, President and CEO of the American Red Cross ... salary for year ending 06/30/03 was $651,957 plus expenses. (It's bound to be even MORE now.)

    Brian Gallagher, President of the United Way, receives a $375,000 base salary, plus numerous expense benefits.

    UNICEF CEO receives $1,200,000 per year [100k per month] plus all expenses and a ROLLS ROYCE where ever he goes, and only a few cents of your dollar goes to the cause.

    The Salvation Army's Commissioner, Todd Bassett, receives a salary of only $13,000 per year (plus housing) for managing this $2 billion dollar organization.

    No further comment necessary.


    Now, I KNOW that I've always made the right choice all along.

    Monday, October 04, 2010

    Liesl & Leia Turn ONE YEAR OLD Today...

    It's like it happened yesterday. The noise caused me to open my eyes. I woke up at 2:22am and heard a "pop." My water had broken at exactly 36 weeks gestation. I was in labor with my twins. Coincidentally, my sister was in town and was actually able to be there when the girls were born. It was a moving time for all of us. My whole family showed up and my mother-in-law came to watch Jack and Liv within minutes of receiving my phone call in the middle of the night. Hubby couldn't make the call because he was "getting it together" and trying not to freak out at the reality of what was about to happen. He needed to sit down and talk to himself, actually. It's not every day a man becomes a father to four, so I totally understood his need to have a pep talk with himself. I, however, was pretty calm because I didn't want to wake the older kids, even though my contractions were pretty close and it hurt like hell. I did, however, have to tell Hubby to get his ass down the stairs. There was no time to freak out. We were about to double the size of our family!

    At 5:12am, Leia was born at 4lbs, 15oz, screaming her curly blonde head off and sliding out before her sister when she should've been after her. At 5:13am, Liesl was born at a whopping 5lbs, 8oz (which was bigger than Livie was at birth); she didn't cry at all. There was complete silence and it scared me to death. They rushed her out of the room. My raven-haired beauty needed oxygen and spent 12 hours with the "cake topper" on her, pushing oxygen into her immediate air space so she could get her lungs as strong as possible. She wasn't ready to leave the womb, even though her sister was clawing her way out. She was and always will be a fighter. She's got it in her.

    It was a remarkable pregnancy for a multiple gestation at my age and a damn good delivery and physical recovery. The aftermath is what scarred me the most, emotionally. Going in as big as a house and coming home four days later without either of my babies. Leia was in the hospital for 14 days; Liesl was in the hospital for 16 days. My heart broke a thousand times in two weeks. I left Jack and Liv so much to go to the hospital that they had PTSD for a while, afraid every time I left to go anywhere, fearing I'd never return. The "visiting" my babies in the NICU after I'd been discharged. The back and forth of traveling to and from the hospital so I could nurse them both. The rattling of my core every time they couldn't drink that set amount needed to graduate from the NICU. The pumping every three hours, even in the middle of the night, just to keep my milk supply up while they were in the hospital. All of them...moments that have defined me in so many ways. Our days in the NICU have long been over. I still think about it and how lucky we were to have such a competent doctor and many well-trained nurses. Some nurses were bitches who couldn't wait to talk about me behind my back, as I was the poster child for postpartum depression; others were angels that were placed into my life at the right time for a very good reason. The latter are who matter the most and some of them have become my friends.

    I breastfed my twins for nine months. Once they were too big, I could no longer do tandem nursing and had to do one at a time instead, but it was a great ride for all of us. They have grown so much; they do so many cool things now. They aren't just sleepy newborns; they are loud, they have opinions, and they are as different from each other as twins could possibly be. Both Liesl and Leia are no more alike than Jack and Liv; they just happened to be in the womb together. They even have different blood types.

    My babies and I have come such a long way. It's hard to believe they are a year old today. I am so happy for this milestone. I am also very sad about it. Babyhood never lasts long enough, if you ask me. They've been great babies. We slept a lot more the first year than I thought we would. Everything I read about having twins prepared me for so much chaos. I don't really see the chaos, though. I have a large family. Four children is a lot by today's standards. Chaos is our middle name. Others may see our chaos, but I don't; it's life, to me.

    One thing I am certain about is that all of us are so lucky to have each other. There's a reason Liesl and Leia picked me to be their mother. There's a reason they came into this family. And I could never imagine my life without them. I love you, girls! You've done a great job!

    Happy First Birthday, Liesl and Leia! We're going to have one hell of a party!

    Sunday, October 03, 2010

    The Slippery Slide...

    Tomorrow is a big day for us here. Liesl and Leia will be ONE year old. It's hard for me to believe they've been with us that long. I'm happy and sad at the same time. I feel like they were just born. It hasn't felt like a year already. I still want them to be teeny tiny.

    Today, we'll be decorating for Halloween. It's my favorite holiday, after all. For me, Halloween decorating means Thanksgiving is a stone's throw away. And then the slippery slide into Christmas starts. These next three months go by so fast. Halloween is just the start for me.

    So, off I go to make this house festive. There are windows to be washed and spooky stuff to be put up. I almost want to wake Livie up to make her help me. She's dying to help and I just might march up there right now to have her do just that. Heh.

    It's only a matter of days before we start hearing holiday music at Walgreens and Target. Yeesh.

    Saturday, October 02, 2010

    Head Games...

    Oh, yes. It's the letter from school that every parent dreads. It's worse than a suspension.

    "This is to inform you that a case of head lice has been reported in your classroom."

    Head lice. Livie's class. Coincidentally, one of her friends has been absent for the past two days. Jack, Liv, and I went to her birthday party last Sunday. I'm sincerely hoping she's not the one, but she's the only one who's been absent, according to Liv. Then again, Liv doesn't know all the new kids in her class, so it could be one of them, just as well.

    At any rate, ugh. We've checked Liv and Jack to the nth degree and haven't spotted any unwanted critters feeding on their scalps. And, really, I don't want to think about what a case of head lice could do to this household. Me, Hubby, Jack, Liv, Liesl, Leia, the DOG...

    It would turn the House of Eatmisery upside down and inside out. And send us all to hell and back. I'm pretty sure no one here has it, but I'm keeping a very vigilant eye out for any uncontrollable scratching. Yeesh. Not only are we all fighting the Back to School Plague for the second time in four weeks; we now have to deal with the possibility of head lice.

    I think I'm going to puke.

    Friday, October 01, 2010

    Ssshhh...Listen...

    Hey! Do you hear what I hear? Yep. That's the sweet sound of Friday. It couldn't come quick enough this week.

    What? You say it's October already? Ahhhh, that's one month closer to June, folks. Yeah, I'm counting down already and that's sad, right?

    Hell no! That's reality. Heh.