40 Years...

Today is my 40th birthday and I have learned a lot in forty years. I was going to make a lengthy list of everything I've learned, but decided not to. I know where I've been, how far I've come, and what it has all taught me. I don't need to list it.

Instead, I realized that my thirties were the best time of my life, so far. My twenties were filled with a lot of fun, heartache, hard work, and therapy. My thirties, however, is when everything came together. I bought a home, lost one beloved dog, gave birth to four amazing children, had a miscarriage, got my Masters degree, endured various degrees of heartache, and honed my skills in my chosen profession. There were a lot of character building moments that I will always cherish because I learned from them. While my twenties were roaring, my thirties were so fulfilling in so many ways. I learned love and loss.

I don't know what's in store for my forties. I've been dreading turning 40 for the last year. I don't know how this next decade will top the last one, but I'm hoping for amazing moments with the people I love. I'm trying really hard to embrace 40, so I'm talking myself out of my funk. All I know is that I'm growing every day, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Halfway to dead? Yeah, maybe so. Halfway into life, you bet. Maybe the next decade will give me moments as good as the ones in my thirties were. If not, I'll always have memories of my thirties to get me through the hard times.

I don't know what will happen tomorrow or the next day, but I do know that I'm embracing each moment because those are what matter the most. I can't control any of it, but I can control my reaction to whatever happens. That's half the battle.

I would say that the past 40 years have taught me a lot. Maybe the next decade will be even better. I feel the need to make every minute count because you never know when your time is up. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go hug my kids. Rather than be upset about turning 40, today I'm going to embrace the fact that I'm still here and loved and able to do the things I love with the people I love.